Rick McCollister

Rick McCollister
Location
Lincoln, Nebraska, USA
Birthday
May 06
Title
Rick
Company
is always welcome.
Bio
I'm a guy, 51, who used to be many different things: recording engineer, inventor, electronics designer, firmware and software developer, husband. Now: father, musician, partner, photographer, friend, facilitator... and I write. I've committed to myself to write two pieces a day and post them here. I am currently developing a book.

MY RECENT POSTS

JANUARY 18, 2009 1:12PM

Choosing what to feel

Rate: 3 Flag

Writing on the fly, not thought out ahead of time, prompted by Brian's morning piece, and his comment on Carol's lovely thoughts this morning:

Happiness is not a choice. Happiness is an emotion, and we don't choose our emotions. We choose what we do, not what we feel.

Happiness is a result, a side effect; it follows action. "I choose happiness today," powerful words, of course. But it is the saying of the words and the motion which results that leads to happiness.

Happiness is transient. Fleeting. Without sadness, happiness would have no meaning. Emotions are cyclical, dynamic, as predictable as the tide yet as unpredictable as the individual waves swirling toward the shore.

Happiness can not be bought, nor can it be forced, manufactured, synthesized. One can not point one's boat toward happiness and then sail there. It is not a destination.

Happiness is always in here waiting to be felt. And fear, too. Is fear a choice? No. Acting from a center of fear, however, is. All events are intrinsically neutral, devoid of "meaning." It's how we sense them, classify them, then interpret them that leads to feelings. 

I do know what Brian means, I think. And I empathize with Carol's words, "Enough with depression." Yeah. Already.

Just a scrap of momentary thought here. The words on the scroll are good words. Powerful not in and of themselves, though, but empowering through the act of reading and speaking them.

Have a happy day!

Author tags:

emotions, happiness

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Comments

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You can, at the least, try to choose happiness. See my most recent post. You can choose not to wallow. You can choose to let anger go unless it's really necessary. You can choose to try and do something about small depressions and get help for big horrible depressions. Happiness may not be a permanent condition but you can enjoy the moments and hold on to them as long as possible. Yes?
happiness can be a choice if you find the actions that lead to it. I understand some people need chemistry to clear the fog, but even then, its all about being happy with what we have, where we are, rather than regretting what we think we lack.
Rick, What insightful words about happiness and emotions. I agree that it is not a destination or an emotion. Elation or joy could be the emotions we ascribe to happiness, and they are indeed fleeting. Gibran in The Prophet talks about "The self-same well from which comes our laughter oft comes our tears." Talking about the deeper we feel sorrow, the greater our capacity for joy. I think. It's been a while since I read it, it just sticks with me. I said a couple of more things about this on my reply to comments.

Sometimes the only control I have over my depression is to recognize it when it rises to the surface, and often it's not in time to prevent a strange post, anger, or letter sent out to a friend. I try to make rules for myself to prevent such embarrassments like, "Don't email, post, or mail anything until it's sat on your desktop for twenty-four hours. Recognize what Winston Churchill called his "Black Dog," for what it is and is not. It does not tell you the truth about yourself or others, and this too will pass if you give it a chance. Thanks again for the post. It was great.

I like what Brain said too. I forget sometimes to see the joy that is right in front of me, and have gratitude for what I have. Thanks for the reminders to help our souls grow.
Thank you for reading and commenting, Carol. Your comments are always thoughtful and encouraging. You know, really, I'm just trying to write it out, write through it. Depression is both a curse and a gift. I would like you all to know I am reading as I write, and I'm reflecting, and I'm hoping to somehow inspire as you inspire me.