Male jealousy is, at best, useless. At its least damaging, it merely makes the man experiencing it anxious, angry, and miserable. More often it serves as both the justification and the fuel for acts of intrusion and violence by men against women. Jealousy is not unique to men, of course, nor is the perpetration of violence. Here, however, I speak only about the phenomenon of jealousy in men in relationships with women.
For many readers no definition of the term is necessary. We all know what we mean when we talk about jealousy, right? Nonetheless I will offer a serviceable, if simplified, definition: Jealousy is a strong emotional response felt by a man, in reaction to actual, potential or imagined sexual involvement and/or intimacy between his female partner and another person. ( Jealousy entry in Wikipedia )
What is the function of jealousy? Let's begin by considering the biological angle. Does it have an obvious biological purpose? No. Only mating is necessary to ensure reproduction. While the babies are helpless and vulnerable, the male can (and sometimes does) remain with his mate to protect both her and the offspring. But if the female later chooses to mate again with a different male, doing so in no way threatens the continuation of the species.
Nor does jealousy serve any moral purpose. Every human being has the right to live fully, with his or her liberty restricted by no one--and especially not one's intimate partner. Jealousy is inconsistent with that concept. In fact, it could be argued that one's partner has a moral duty not only to not limit her, but to encourage her to reach her full potential.
Not only is jealousy unnecessary, it is also illogical. While core emotions such as fear or insecurity can be shown to have some rational basis, jealousy enjoys no such foundation.
In fact, jealousy is not really an emotion at all. It is synthesized. It is an attitude. It is a choice. But it doesn't "feel" like a choice to the man experiencing it. To him, jealousy feels like a completely natural response to a violation of his rights as a man. He is a victim! That which is his has been threatened!
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But I also suspect that monogamy is an artificial construct - useful to form support groups based on presumed kinship (paternity). No longer relevant to modern needs, but maintained for the same reasons that Regis Philbin is still on tv - people find comfort in the familiar, fear change. Which too many people then take to the next level, feeling such a strong need to defend their status quo that they persecute...
Crap, you really got me started. As if I should talk. separated, celibate, cloistered...
keep going on this top Rick. Blogwhore it, even. It need discussion.
So jealousy is advantageous evolutionarily- however, only to an extent. If a male is so jealous that he expends more energy running off other males than he spends eating or mating - he may find himself with fewer mating seasons or fewer offspring than if he were less jealous. If a male is so jealous that he can't secure a mate, obviously, he will have no offspring.
An interesting phenomena has been observed lately: male primates who have reason to suspect that their partner has been unfaithful have higher sperm counts than male primates who are secure. The ability to produce more sperm in response to stimuli which stimulate jealousy is very adaptive.
Oddly, though, for female primates, there's an evolutionary incentive to cheat - female primates (including human beings) are slightly more fertile with a new partner than with a long-term partner - so female primates who have occasional extra-partner couplings have an evolutionary advantage over more "faithful" female primates...
I think that the "natural" system is the system we all seem to fall in by accident at some time - a strong, long-term, pair bond, with occasional lapses in fidelity. Offers the greatest advantages, evolutionarily speaking. Not terribly emotionally healthy for most, though.
For men, or women, jealously puts fire to a perceived threat to the amount of time, attention, social status, etc. that they receive from the mate. It is a call to action to butt heads and determine which male or female is the strongest and therefore the best catch. Altruism is also natural, and helps the species as a whole, but does not serve to perpetuate the DNA of a particular male or female. It is the goal of each organism to keep their own genes in the gene pool, and allowing another male to mate with ones own is not doing that, especially when it does take both parents so long to raise a child. On the other hand, for the female to mate on the sly with another male, even when she has children might be considered a survival technique. She then has a "back-up
Hobolaw, you have a lot of really good points. I was reading about a genetic study that found in populations in England of men with the same last name that about one out of 100 actually had different DNA than the basic line...there were a bunch bastards around that didn't even know it.* Also, new born babies resemble their fathers most closely, probably to keep the dad from killing them.
So, Rick. Jealousy is natural, even if not good for you/me/anyone beyond reproductive age. There has to be ways to handle it, but probably best not to deny it.
I wish this statement was supplemented with something about how men are extremely jealous towards other men. I see it every day, and it's not always due to the quality of the woman on the man's arm. Men are jealous towards other men, dropping little rumors and insults, sometimes towards men they don't even know. I am a decent looking chap and I dress nice. I find that the majority of men will try to start crap with me, directly and indirectly. Men do the envy thing, just like women do. Don't fool yourselves. I had a guy at work I didn't even know telling women I was a bad person, gay, etc... I have also had men come up and try to start a fight with me. My brother has the same problem with jealous guys. Memo to them: get in shape, show some confidence and quit being a insecure little crybaby.