A man wakes up one morning in Alaska to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Bear Removers."

He calls the number, and the bear remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes. The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull.

"What are you going to do," the homeowner asks?

"I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van.."

He hands the shotgun to the homeowner. "What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner.

"If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog."

And last, the recipe..

Baby Shit Sandwich

2- slices of bread, (whole wheat is best.)

Peanut butter

2- slices of cheese

Peanut butter the 2 slices and lay the cheese in the middle. Put on the oven rack and set it to broil, toasting the outside and melting the inside. Once cooked pour yourself a nice glass of milk and enjoy the taste treat.

I had this recipe for years but was to chickn to try it until yesterday. I felt like I could eat something and finally threw caution to the wind and made one of these. It does indeed look like baby shit but it tastes like Heaven.

Trust me... -Ric