View-Points by Rita Banerji

Rita Banerji

Rita Banerji
Location
India
Birthday
January 13
Title
Founder, Director
Company
The 50 Million Missing Campaign
Bio
Writer and gender activist. Author of 'Sex and Power: Defining History, Shaping Societies,' (Penguin Global, 2009). Founder and Director of The 50 Million Missing Campaign (a global, online advocacy campaign fighting female genocide in India).

JANUARY 11, 2012 9:03AM

Why My Pot-Luck Christmases Were More Fun!

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This is a lit up Atlas Cedar -- my favorite conifer!

I know this comes 2 weeks late, but that is the intention! Because this is not a post about the recently past Christmas, but about the many Christmases I celebrated as a child, many years ago, and how much I miss them as I watch the Christmases of today.

As a child Christmas was perhaps the only festival I really got to celebrate with full participation!  That may sound strange, since I’ve grown up in India, but the fact is that my parents, both of who were Hindus, regarded religion as a private thing.  They each practiced separately, prayed at home or visited temples individually.  But they never forced the religion, the practices or even the festivals on us.  So the only festival, that we as children ended up celebrating in India, was Christmas!  And that’s because we attended private convent schools, that were run by nuns, most of who, then in the 70′s, were Irish or Anglo-Indian (Eurasian).

There always was a few weeks of excitement and preparation leading up to Christmas, in our schools, that we as Children loved.  There would be a Christmas concert with carols etc. and each class had its own Christmas party with a Christmas tree and presents etc.   Our Christmas presents followed a pot-luck system.  All the students of a class would each bring a wrapped present in the week leading up to the Christmas party and leave it under the class Christmas tree.  Then on the day of the party, we would have our cake, blow some balloons, play some games, and then somberly sit around the tree, as each child walked up to the presents, and picked one out of the pile.  If there were 30 students in class there would be 30 presents, one for each child.  The present each of us had to bring had to be of a certain value that we’d be told of, and this amount was usually very, very low — about Rs.5/- or less!  It could cost as little as we wanted to spend, or we did not need to spend at all.  We could be creative and just make the present ourselves!  More so, it had to be something that either boys or girls could use, since we had both boys and girls in class.  The reason it was set up this way, was because the schools even though they were private and relatively expensive, also took in many students for free, whose families were very poor and could not afford to send them to school.

No one ever knew who gave what present!  But there was always an excitement about the opening and discovery of our gifts.  And the beauty of this system was, that it did not matter whether you were rich or poor — you brought what you could to the table, and you received with love and delight whatever gift was in your fate!!! Later, the entrance fees that we collected from the Christmas concert in the evening, would be all sent to different charities.

Perhaps this is one of the reasons why I always said, that Christmas was my most favorite festival.  It was not about religion (I am an atheist I should emphasize), but about a certain feeling of humanness and connectivity, and learning to find enjoyment in little!!  Later, when I moved to the U.S., the contrast in the spirit of Christmas hit me hard.  It was about consumption, and who spent how much on what, and how many gifts one got, and whether or not you could get your parents or spouses to buy you that very expensive thing you’ve had your eye on for a long time.  Or it was about how big and long your Christmas lunches were.  Or, as I discovered with some, it was about going to church and listening to long, boring sermons on the life of Christ that most didn’t hear as they dozed off!

Here in India now, after returning I find that the young, urban modern Indians are trying to revive Christmas in the western way — with big extravagant parties in hotels and clubs, big booze, and big money, and big presents.  Pretty much like they do all the other Indian festivals — Diwali, Holi and the New Year!!  And I don’t attend anymore, because I keep expecting that joy and anticipation I felt celebrating Christmas as a child –  and I’m always disappointed.

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"No one ever knew who gave what present! But there was always an excitement about the opening and discovery of our gifts. And the beauty of this system was, that it did not matter whether you were rich or poor — you brought what you could to the table, and you received with love and delight whatever gift was in your fate!!!"

Now, that is how it SHOULD be done.

But we are superficial and materialistic and we do not even celebrate Christmas as a Spring Festival, let alone celebrate humanity. In the US (I don't want to bring the whole of Europe or India into it) we celebrate consumerism and new toys, not the true spirit of Christianity. Excellent post. R