Well, it's the first day of fall and nothing says, "Summer's Over" like the kids marching out the door for the school bus each morning with their backpacks.

Of course, the kids weren’t in school a week before I came down with some sort of crud.  Eldest child has the sniffles and as usual the youngest is fine (seriously, scientists should study this kid’s immune system – it’s creepy how seldom she gets sick).

Now commences what I call the October through December “whoosh”, which seems to pass in the blink of an eye, and is followed by the January through May "SLOG" during which time, here in the Northwest, actually seems to stop.  The only silver lining I see in this is that the eternal clouds and gray skies keep a lot of folks from moving here.  Winter wouldn’t actually be that bad here if I were willing to pay a gazillion dollars (because literally, that’s what it costs) to take a family of four skiing every week or two.

It's soccer season again for the kids and this weekend I watched my youngest daughter’s game in jeans and a T-shirt and was just toasty.  Skydivers kept landing in the nearby fields during the game and folks were generally merry.  But by the end of the season, the ground will be almost frozen and all non-essential personnel will be long gone.  Parents will be huddled and twitching in groups with umbrellas and coats and Starbucks cups, praying for a disruption in the fabric of space time so that the game can just end – FAST.  Meanwhile, our kids will get frozen and soaked through while playing, but will barely notice.  And their little puffs of breath will hover over the field during the game like winter ghosts.

Our furnace began making a huge shuddering noise at the start of the summer and the repair guy wanted $450 to fix it so we just turned if off.  But we’re going to need heat soon, so I guess I’d better fork over the cash. I'm guessing fall "repair" prices are higher.

The leaves are starting to fall.  I like seeing their wet death spread across the yard for a month or so, but at the same time, with each passing day that I don't rake up those leaves I can "feel" the judgements of my controlling, anal-retentive neighbor who won’t allow a single leaf to bespoil her perfectly tended yard. Oh well, maybe the smoke coming out of her ears will warm things up a bit.

I fear Cheddar Jr. won’t last until Christmas.  She’s almost three years old; ancient for a feeder mouse that should have gone down a snake’s gullet a long time ago.  My daughter loves that mouse, golf ball sized tumor and all.  Cheddar Jr. doesn’t seem to be in pain and goes about her business of eating, drinking, and breathing – but GOOD LORD I don’t see how that thing on her chest can get any bigger without killing her (it's beginning to look like her evil twin or something).  I hope the end is peaceful.  And when she dies she’ll get the Egyptian Pharaoh treatment – comfy, cozy, Tupperware coffin with everything she’ll need in the next life, and an honored spot in the backyard pet cemetery.  No embalming though - but maybe a burial mask - we'll see.

Fall TV - last season of LOST coming up, but I must say that last season’s mostly suckey episodes have dampened my enthusiasm. And if anyone still believes the smoke monster is going to be adequately explained, then I’ve got a tropical island here in the Northwest I’d like to sell you.  Incidentally, I suspect Josh Holloway (Sawyer) may be revered as a god in Malaysia, because of the sheer number of times his mug appears in advertisements in the Kuala Lumpur airport – seriously, it’s like they chose him to be the patron saint of travellers or something.

And lastly…I have a morbid curiosity as to what monstrously tacky Christmas lawn decoration is going to be the big seller this year.  I don’t know how you top last year's MASSIVE, 10-foot tall, plastic, musical, blow-up snow globe with a Christmas scene inside it - but I’m sure the best minds in America have been working on it!

And so, without further ado (what exactly is 'ado' anyway?) in the immortal words of our recently deposed Pretender and Chief - "Bring it on!”