MAY 5, 2014 11:06AM

BREAK A LEG

After a mad dash of rehearsal this week, the play at Hollins U. - "Mitzi's Abortion" - goes up tonight, followed by another performance tomorrow.  That's it.

Sort of a rush job, especially for me.  All the other actors, save one, were in the original production, on the downstair's mainstage… Read full post »

APRIL 30, 2014 10:32PM

I SAVED A TURTLE!

My day could have ended after my turtle rescue.  You save a turtle from a busy street and you really ought to be flown to D.C. to meet Barack and Michelle.  There it was, a box turtle right on route 8 that passes through town.  I pulled the van across both… Read full post »

APRIL 28, 2014 11:36AM

MITZI'S ABORTION

While folks here on OS are calling one another "assholes," and trying to win the "who died most" contest, I'd just like to say...

In my little corner of SW VA, I'll be going into two performances of a truly thought-provoking play called "Mitzi's Abortion."  Ernie Zulia, the head of the… Read full post »

APRIL 25, 2014 1:05PM

PLAYING FOR STRANGERS

Dave is a player.  Music is in his blood.  Born and raised in Franklin County, Virginia, he was born into it.  And yes, he can also get you some moonshine...by the pint or quart.  He's proficient on the guitar and banjo and can get by, well, more than "get by" on the… Read full post »

APRIL 3, 2014 11:46AM

HAIR TODAY, GONE TOMORROW

As one whose hair has enacted, over the years, a general retreat, I'd like to go on record as saying, "HAIR JOKES ARE NOT FUNNY."

Interestingly, it has been my experience that these so-very-less-than funny,  inappropriate "jokes" are, nine-hundred-and-ninety-nine times out of a thousand, pe… Read full post »

FEBRUARY 18, 2014 10:00AM

THE JOY OF HAVING TEENAGE BOYS

I decided to substitute the word "joy" for my original choice - "agony."  One tries to have hope, to maintain a certain esprit.  After all, even under the most crushing of circumstances, men and women have achieved extraordinary things.  Last night, for instance, I cooked dinner.

It wa… Read full post »

FEBRUARY 5, 2014 1:27PM

ON MY OWN TWO FEET

When I was little I wanted to be three things:  a fireman; a boy scout; Mighty Mouse.  When asked, I probably put Mighty Mouse last as to avoid any immediate laughter but, truth be told, Mighty Mouse is what I truly wanted to be.  I wanted his muscles and I wanted… Read full post »

JANUARY 27, 2014 12:29PM

FOOD FOR THOUGHT AT THE FOOD LION

It's good, on a Monday morning, to wander the local Food Lion and catch up on all the important things, like the song "Horse with No Name."  It's not a song I normally play around the house, unless I'm vacuuming.  A dear friend of 35 years who was once a pot-smoking,… Read full post »

DECEMBER 31, 2013 2:44PM

DISHEVELMENT AND DISSIPATION FOR 2014

Avoiding dismemberment (though I thought about it but, really, so hard to accomplish in any practical sense) I've decided on complete dishevelment.  I mean serious dishevelment, on every level.  Dishevelment and gradual but complete dissipation. 

Bring it on.

First and perhaps fo… Read full post »

DECEMBER 26, 2013 9:54AM

JACKIE

It doesn't have to happen like this, but sometimes it does...

We had a wonderful day yesterday with our boys, opening presents, having Christmas breakfast on "fancy" place-settings.  I took a Christmas walk and met up with one of my sisters, also walking.  We spent the evening with friends.… Read full post »

DECEMBER 20, 2013 9:39AM

PA INGALLS FOR CHRISTMAS

I've been playing Pa Ingalls in "A Little House Christmas" with the Roanoke Children's Theatre. It's been a great experience. Acting is something I do well...it only took me 30 years or so.

Way back in the last century, my acting teacher told the class it would take us… Read full post »

DECEMBER 13, 2013 10:21AM

THE MUSE, STILL CALLING...

Since the 5th of December, I've been Pa Ingalls onstage for the Roanoke Children's Theatre production of "A Little House Christmas."  We're doing 29 shows in 20 days, so it's a real immersion.  The kids' roles are double cast and they all do their best though some, better than others. … Read full post »

OCTOBER 21, 2013 2:02PM

EXPIRATION DATES

When my mother was still alive, I'd take her food shopping. (I can't take her food shopping anymore, she's so dead.) We'd go on Tuesdays, Senior Citzen's Day, for the five percent discount. My mother would go to hell and back for five percent. Heaven, not so… Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 19, 2013 9:37AM

WHY I KILLED THE CAT

First of all, she had it coming.  She's been up on the table, she threw up on the rug, she wants something at 4 in the morning and then, when I get up, she can't quite remember what it was.

Secondly, like my father used to say, "I brought you into… Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 3, 2013 1:19PM

DIANA, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL

The latest name up above my writing desk - alongside Elmore Leonard's 10 Rules of writing - is DIANA NYAD. 

What this woman accomplished yesterday at the age of 64 is an inspiration for anyone moving and breathing.  What?  Just a 110 mile swim from Havana, Cuba to the Florida… Read full post »

AUGUST 26, 2013 10:59AM

JESSE COLIN (NOT SO) YOUNG

 We don't go to church. Both Michele and I were raised Catholic and that should be enough of an explanation right there. When we lived in LA, Michele would go occasionally with her Mom and take the boys along. They loved the donuts after the service.

Our Sunday… Read full post »

AUGUST 15, 2013 2:40PM

UP MY BUTT

Michele and I decided to do something romantic together so...we got matching colonoscopies!  Better than tattoos, really, way less painful and no buyer's remorse!  Case in point:  Tom Arnold and Roseanne had each other's names - for pure love's sake - tattooed on one another and then,… Read full post »

AUGUST 7, 2013 4:20PM

TEXAS NEEDS YOUR POISONS!

Texas is in a pickle and we can all help out. Seems they are dangerously low on pentobarbital and that's the "death" drug, the one they use for all their many executions. What to do, what to do?

Yep, they had good old hangings until 19 and 24, used… Read full post »

JULY 18, 2013 2:19PM

BROOKLYN COMES TO FLOYD

Keith is a Fresh Air child. Fresh Air places inner-city kids with families in the country and from the home base of NYC, they go as far south as, well, SW Virginia. We put him on the bus this morning at 6 a.m., after his ten-day stay, for the ride… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JULY 3, 2013 3:46PM

ALL MY LIFE

All my life I’ve been searching for my father.

I am born, the seventh of nine.  The other eight are girls, so “distinction” is a given.  Family legend has it that my mother told the doctor to keep the good news from Dad; she’d tell him herself.  In the hospital/… Read full post »

JUNE 12, 2013 9:03PM

MY FRIEND AT FOOD LION

 

Lori (not her real name) is tall, with red hair.  She turned 50 and they gave her a surprise party, in the store.  She and I always joke around, always have.  Like today, when she stood in the cookie aisle and I asked her where in the gosh darn

Read full post »
MAY 7, 2013 4:34PM

'BOUT A WEEK BACK...

When I was young and could do those kinds of things, I was a gymnast. It paid for college. When the team traveled and did exhibitions, we had a few standard jokes. One of them: the coach asks one of us to demonstrate a trick and… Read full post »

Three of my sisters live in northern California, one in Santa Rosa and two in Healdsburg.  If you haven't been there take it from me, it's God's country.  Or, for you non-believers, god's country.  Heck, Charles Shultz lived in Santa Rosa - 'nuff said.  And Healdsburg is quickly b… Read full post »

APRIL 30, 2013 11:07AM

FEELIN' GOOD

Life sucks.  My sons are slaves to the internet, the wife is putting on the pounds and waking me up with her snoring.  I just paid the monthly minimum on two credit cards, read a review of a Ted Nugent concert and the cat crapped on the rug.  It’s times like/… Read full post »

APRIL 22, 2013 8:30PM

READING OUT LOUD

As part of the New River Valley Voices reading series, a story of mine was chosen.  "Safe and Sound" is fiction, a tale about a brother and sister in a house with their dying father.  Yes, it's sad of course but there's humor too as there is, hopefully, even in the… Read full post »