Dummy
Robert Brenner
- Location
- New York, New York, USA
- Birthday
- March 30
- Bio
- Robert Brenner is a humorist, critic, and ventriloquist. His work has been published in New York Magazine, the Huffington Post, Grin & Tonic, and Happy. He has been interviewed on LeMorningShow, the first Twitter talk show. He is a proud graduate of André Aciman’s Writers’ Institute at the Graduate Center at CUNY. He lives in New York City with his child bride and two (imaginary) cats. Email: rabrenner@prodigy.net
MY RECENT POSTS
- FarmVille Wizard: The Who's
Rock Opera On Facebook
August 28, 2010 09:33AM - Who IS Evelyn Salt? Some
Surprising Answers
August 19, 2010 12:26PM - Rosemary's Anchor Baby
August 20, 2010 10:32PM - Mosque of Dreams: If You Build
It, They Will Come
August 19, 2010 07:33PM - THE DEPENDABLES: Aging Action
Heroes On One Last (e)Mission
August 08, 2010 04:11PM
MY RECENT COMMENTS
- “I'd like to see Angelina
Jolie with pepperoni.”
August 29, 2010 06:09PM - “Thanks, schopenhorror.
Like you, I grew up on a
steady diet
of Japanese kaiju.
I…”
August 28, 2010 12:33PM - “Thanks, koshersalaami.
You and I are on the same page
(unlike
a few other
comment…”
August 28, 2010 09:16AM - “And a lot of pepper.
Thanks, Kathy.”
August 27, 2010 12:56PM - “Thanks, Ellen. Soon I
vill rule ze vorld!”
August 26, 2010 11:50AM
Robert Brenner's Links
FarmVille Wizard: The Who's Rock Opera On Facebook
Dear Friends:
Another one of my pieces was published on the Huffington Post. You can read it here:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/robert-brenner/farmville-wizard_b_692665.html
Also, I am going on vacation for a couple of weeks. See you late September. Read full post »
Who IS Evelyn Salt? Some Surprising Answers
Dear Friends:
I had another piece published in Grin & Tonic. You can read it here:
http://bnreview.barnesandnoble.com/t5/Grin-Tonic/Who-IS-Evelyn-Salt/ba-p/3203 Read full post »
Rosemary's Anchor Baby
Dear Friends:
My first post for the Huffington Post. Check it out:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/robert-brenner/rosemarys-anchor-baby_b_682097.html
Mosque of Dreams: If You Build It, They Will Come
A cornfield somewhere in Iowa.
If you build it, they will come.
If I build what? Who will come? And what are you doing in my cornfield?
A mosque at Ground Zero. The jihadists will come to celebrate their victory over the Great Satan. And as to your cornfield, I… Read full post »
THE DEPENDABLES: Aging Action Heroes On One Last (e)Mission
A group of geriatric action/adventure movie stars find themselves trapped in a nursing home.
WILLIS: OK, guys, listen up. Do you want to go out in a blaze of glory, or die here in your bedpans?
ROURKE: I like it here: three squares, regular meds, all the shuffleboard you can/… Read full post »
Hedorah The Oil Slick Monster: How Leak REALLY Got Capped

The chatter began weeks ago as armchair engineers brainstormed for ways to stop the torrent of oil spilling into the Gulf of Mexico: What about nuking the well? Decades ago, the Soviet Union reportedly used nuclear blasts to successfully seal off runaway gas wells, inserting a/… Read full post »
Loan Predators: In Space No One Can Hear You Go Bankrupt

Dear Friends:
Another one of my pieces was published in Grin & Tonic. You can read it here:
http://bnreview.barnesandnoble.com/t5/Grin-Tonic/Loan-Predators/ba-p/3027 Read full post »

The photos, disseminated on Iran's semiofficial news sites, look ordinary enough: young men with short haircuts, some with 1950s style quiffs and a touch of gel on top. But these haircuts are not just a summer fashion. They are being promoted by Iran's Ministry of Culture and Islamic Guidance… Read full post »
Published In Grin & Tonic: Monster Mash-Ups II
Dear Friends:
The second part of Monster Mash-Ups was published in Grin & Tonic:
http://bnreview.barnesandnoble.com/t5/Grin-Tonic/Monster-Mash-Ups-II/ba-p/2860
Published In Grin & Tonic: Monster Mash-Ups I

Dear Friends:
Another one of my pieces was published in Grin & Tonic. You can read it here:
http://bnreview.barnesandnoble.com/t5/Grin-Tonic/Monster-Mash-Ups/ba-p/2859
Tea Party: With Apologies to Cheech And Chong

Hey, man, you got the stuff?
"Stuff," sir?
You know, man, the stuff.
What "stuff" are you talking about, sir?
You know, man—grass, pot, weed.
We don't have anything like that, sir. You might try the plant nursery down the street.
No, man, the stuff—rope, hemp, dope.
We don&r… Read full post »
Published In Grin & Tonic: Dr. Lehman & Mr. Hudson
Dear Friends:
Another one of my pieces was published in Grin & Tonic. You can read it here:
Thanks for your encouragement and support.
Code of Honor: Two Unmanned Military Drones Walk Into A Bar…

Moreover, the operators of [unmanned military] drones, often on the other side of the world, are far removed from the sight, sound and smell of the battlefield. They may make decisions to attack that a commander on the ground might not, treating warfare as a video game.
Ronald Arkin of… Read full post »
Book Review: Forget "Iron Man 2"...
...Novels Are Where The Superheroes Are
I am Uatu the Watcher. I am pledged never to interfere in human affairs, merely to observe. (Although I may have broken this vow once or twice in the pages of the Fantastic Four.) I live on the dark side of the moon, in… Read full post »
Kill The Whale: Published In Daniel Menaker's Grin & Tonic

Dear Friends:
One of my pieces was published in Daniel Menaker's Grin & Tonic. You can read all five parts here:
http://bnreview.barnesandnoble.com/t5/Grin-Tonic/Kill-the-Whale-Part-I/ba-p/2546
http://bnreview.barnesandnoble.com/t5/Grin-Tonic/Kill-the-Whale-Part-2/ba-p/25… Read full post »
Release The Kraken: My "Appearance" On LeMorningShow

Dear Friends:
Below is a transcript of my "appearance" on LeMorningShow today. LMS is a Twitter talk show associated with the Herald de Paris; several other OSers have appeared on it.
The transcript's in reverse chronological order, so you have to start at the end and read backwards to… Read full post »
Appearing On LeMorningShow
Dear Friends:
Just a brief note that I will be "appearing" on LeMorningShow Wednesday, April 21st, 9-11 AM EST. LeMorningShow is a Twitter talk show (!), so expect lots of meaningless ephemera. But it is associated with the Herald de Paris, so it's good exposure.
To list… Read full post »
Kiss My Ash: Iceland Takes Europe Hostage

FROM: Jóhanna Sigurðardóttir, Prime Minister, Iceland
TO: José Manuel Barroso, President, European Union
RE: Recent Volcanic Activity
Dear José:
How’s the weather over ther… Read full post »
Risky Business II: How Tom Cruise Caused Financial Crisis

[voiceover] The dream is always the same. Instead of going home, I go to the neighbors’. I ring, but nobody answers. The door is open, so I go inside. I’m looking around, but no one seems to be there. Then I hear the shower running. So I go… Read full post »
Boy Bonds: German Pedophilia/Greek Financial Crises Solved
My fellow Deutschlanders, I have an important announcement to make.
As you know, the Greeks are up to their long, shapely necks in debt. They’ve been naughty boys and hid the size of their huge, throbbing deficit through some accounting hanky-panky. Now they want Germany to save… Read full post »
Oedipus Debt: The Greek Financial Tragedy
Oedipus, my lord, I've got some bad news for you.
I solved the riddle of the Sphinx, I'm king of Thebes, and my wife Jocasta is a smoking hot MILF. What could be wrong, Soothsayer?
It's the budget deficit, Oedipus. I'm afraid it's a bit larger than we… Read full post »
Dingdongs: Eric Massa's Wet Dream

Doctor, I've got this reoccurring dream.
I'm showering in the men's Congressional locker-room. I've just finished working out in the Congressional gym and feeling pretty good about myself. Bikini seasons coming, and I'm trying to lose a few pounds.
Suddenly Rahm Emanuel appears in the… Read full post »
Willkommen: "The White Ribbon" Tourism Guide
INTRODUCTION: With the success of the movie "The White Ribbon," lots of tourists we hope will visit our small, isolated village nestled somewhere in der Fatherland. Here are some tips to make your visit more pleasant.
WHEN TO VISIT: The best time to visit is at the end of… Read full post »
Logan's Print Run: Kill All Journalists Over Thirty
“One of the problems is newspapers fired so many journalists and turned them loose to start so many blogs,” Mr. [Alan D.] Mutter [media consultant] said. “They should have executed them. They wouldn’t have had competition. But they foolishly let them out al/… Read full post »
Tiger Woods & Silvio Berlusconi's Secret Phone Conversation
Scusami, is this Mr. Tiger Woods?
I'm not talking to the press. Speak to one of my representatives. How'd you get this number anyway? It's suppose to be unlisted.
I am not one of the accursed paparazzi, Mr. Woods. I am Silvio Berlusconi, Prime Minister of Italy. As… Read full post »
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