Republican Party Application

Name: _________________________

Sex (excuse us, gender)

/_/  Male

/_/  Female (attach permission note from husband)

Race

/_/   White

/_/   Caucasian

/_/   Honky

/_/   Crackerboy

/_/   Oreo

/_/   Hispanic  No longer applicable (revised 2010)

Marital Status

/_/   Single (but definitely not gay!)

/_/   Married (happily)

/_/   Married (but fooling around)    STAFF:  Forward female applications to Newt Gingrich

/_/   Divorced

/_/   Widowed

Annual Family Income

/_/   $250,000 to $1 million

/_/   Over $1 million

Religion

/_/   Protestant

/_/   Catholic

/_/   I follow a televangelist

Reason For Wanting To Join the GOP

/_/   Obama’s Going to Raise My Taxes

/_/   Obama’s Going to Grab My Guns

/_/   Obama’s Going to Force Boy Scouts Into Gay Islamic Marriages

Where Do You Get Your News?

/_/   FOX News

/_/   Rush Limbaugh

/_/   Sean Hannity

/_/   God Tells Me Everything I Need to Know Personally

Who Is Your Favorite Supreme Court Justice?

/_/   Scalia

/_/   Alito

/_/   Roberts

/_/   Thomas

/_/   You Mean Sarah Palin Isn’t On The Court?

What Is Your Favorite Amendment?

/_/   The Second Half of the Second Amendment

/_/   The Tenth Amendment

/_/   The Fourteenth Amendment, After We Fix It

/_/   There Are Amendments Other Than the Second?

Who Was Your Favorite President?

/_/   Ronald Reagan

What Issues Are Important To You?  Check All

/_/   Guns

/_/   Abortion

/_/   Keeping Gays From Marrying

/_/   Keeping Muslims From Building Mosques

/_/   Taxes

/_/   Stopping Illegal Immigration (except for my gardener)

Barack Obama Is….   Check All

/_/   Kenyan

/_/   Marxist

/_/   Socialist

/_/   Nazi

/_/   Secular Humanist

/_/   Gay

/_/   Muslim

/_/   Communist

/_/   Uppity

/_/   The Anti Christ

Your Economic Plan Is To:

/_/   Cut Taxes

/_/   Lower Taxes

/_/   Reduce Taxes

/_/   Lie About How Much I Care About the Deficit

In the Space Below, Please List All Disagreements

You Have With Rush Limbaugh (Use Large Print)

 ___

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I swear that I will support the Republican Party

And the candidate whose turn it is in 2012

Signature

Send completed forms to:

Republican Party Recruitment

c/o Sarah Palin

Next Door to Russia

Next Door to Santa