Since the tragic shootings in Tucson Saturday before last, civil political discourse has been a topic on many people's minds. It is high time, I say, to pay better attention to how we talk to each other. This starts with you and me, not the pundits and media personalities who profit from mean-spirited rhetoric (mainly because we played along--no more).

So, in that spirit, here are seven "rules" to keep in mind when discussing political topics (or any topic, for that matter) with someone whose views don't align with yours.

Rule 1: Shun name-calling and personal attacks. It might be acceptable, occasionally, to call someone's argument stupid. It is never okay to call him or her stupid. Calling people names like "stupid" is not only unkind but irrational--a good many highly intelligent people have said stupid things. The same of course goes for other types of personal attack. There is no place in civil discourse for disparaging talk about another's race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, education, class, looks, or personal hygiene (okay, the last, maybe in close quarters).

Rule 2: Avoid ad hominem arguments, instead focus on evidence and fact. Pointing out that the report or study that your interlocutor cites comes from a "liberal think tank" or was financed by "big oil" doesn't make your case. You still must deal with the evidence given. Occasionally such information may be germane to the discussion, but alone it proves zilch.

Rule 3: Listen. By which is not meant simply giving "ear time" to the other person, but paying enough attention that you actually understand his or her point. It's the fair and courteous thing to do, and the only way you can craft a refutation (i.e., you can't refute something you don't understand).

Rule 4: Avoid common fallacies. We've talked about ad hominem already. Some other common fallacies: begging the question, appeal to emotion, false dilemma, and argument by authority; but there are more.

Rule 5: Appreciate nuance. You should expect the other person's argument to be largely coherent (while of course making sure that yours is). But likewise keep in mind that human affairs are complicated, they can't be addressed always with mathematical precision. A minor inconsistency, especially one found in extreme or unusual circumstances, does not in and of itself invalidate someone's argument.

Rule 6: Use reason but shun scientism and hyper-rationality. Reason is generally our best guide to solving problems. But humans are not machines or laboratories. Thus, we ought not look to reason for every answer, for often it has none where we are concerned. The techniques and methods appropriate for the hard sciences may not be suitable for topics specific to human life and human interaction.

Rule 7: Respect. The other person is just that, a person. He or she is your brother or sister, no matter how much you may differ in your views. Treat others with respect while expecting the same for yourself. And when others do cross the line, remember that their doing so does not give you license to do that same. In other words, maintain your dignity and humanity by staying out of the gutter.