My Take

by Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish
Malibu, California, USA
October 01
Rubbish In, Robish Out!
Johnny Robish is an actor, stand-up comic and joke/humor writer who lives in Malibu, California. Most recently, Johnny had a weekly humor column entitled “Kauai Komedy” in The Garden Island, Kauai’s main newspaper before moving back to Malibu. A committed writer, Johnny has often stated that “the only time I’m really happy is when I’m sitting in front of a typewriter. Unfortunately, there are no typewriters anymore, so I’m just miserable all the time.” A favorite at comedy clubs all over the western United States, Johnny’s humor has also been published in such diverse venues as the LA Times “Laugh Lines”, medical journals, trade publications, dozens of company newsletters, humor magazines and numerous internet sites such as The Malibu Patch, Curve Wire,, AARP, DailyComedy.Com, FunnyFirm.Com, How Sick Is That? and Peter Bergman’s Radio Free OZ which also features TV’s John Goodman, Edie McClurg and Paul Krassner. Johnny has also written for road comics including Taylor Negron, Mel Kohl, Marti Schauer and Jere Evans.


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Ohio Cops Remove Beer Can from Skunk’s Head:  Police have removed a Miller Lite beer can from an semi-intoxicated skunk’s head found waddling around near a fraternity at Miami of Ohio University.  Wow, that really stinks!  Another reason to never invite a skunk to a fratern/Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 16, 2014 8:30PM

British Man May Have Fathered 600 Children

British Man May Have Fathered 600 Children:  According to new research from DNA tests, a British man who founded a London fertility clinic back in the 1940’s with his wife may have actually secretly fathered as many as six hundred children.  Wow, if true, that could turn out to be one/Read full post »

Wyoming Town With One Resident Sold for $900,000:  A remote, unincorporated area along busy Interstate 80 in Wyoming that advertised itself as the smallest town in America with only one resident, has been sold at auction for $900,000.  When asked why he was selling, the town’s sole re/Read full post »

Mayweather Defeats Maidana Amid Charges of Biting:  Floyd Mayweather dominated Marcos Maidana from the opening bell to win a unanimous 12-round decision and retain his welterweight and super welterweight titles, amid claims that Mayweather was bitten on the wrist by Maidana.  If this proves/Read full post »

Gravedigger Suspended After Taking Photo With Exhumed Body:  A gravedigger in Spain has been suspended after a creepy selfie photo of him posing with an exhumed corpse he had dug up began circulating around social media.  If convicted, the gravedigger could be subject to a “stiff pena/Read full post »

NFL Says One-Third of Players Face Alzheimer’s or Dementia:  The NFL is estimating that three in ten former players will develop debilitating brain conditions such as Dementia or Alzheimer’s, which is twice as often as the general population.  If that’s the case, perhaps w/Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 11, 2014 8:53PM

New Diet Pill Hits US Market

New Diet Pill Hits US Market:  A new diet pill Contrave has just gotten approval to be sold here in the United States, only the third obesity treatment in more than a decade to win approval from the Food and Drug Administration.  Researchers say the pill works by tricking the mind/Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 10, 2014 11:52PM

Ancient Swamp Pig Named After Mick Jagger

Ancient Swamp Pig Named After Mick Jagger:  A newly discovered ancient swamp pig has been named Jaggermeryx after Rolling Stones singer Mick Jagger for its luscious lips.  When a publicist for Jagger asked why they had to pick something like a “swamp pig” to name after the singe/Read full post »

Study Says Untreated Hot Flashes May Cost the U.S. Billions:  A new study found that the extra healthcare expenses as well as lost productivity of menopausal women with untreated hot flashes may cost the U.S. billions of dollars each year.  Not to mention that the sheer  number of boom/Read full post »

Study Finds Handsome Men Have Poorer Sperm Quality:  Contrary to what one might expect, researchers have found that having a handsome facial masculinity is also associated with poor semen quality.  Or,  on the other hand, this study may just be a ploy by nerdy scientists to try and get/Read full post »

Stephen Hawking Concerned About Higgs Boson Research:  In the preface to a new book, Starmus, acclaimed theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking writes that research conducted on the Higgs boson - the so-called God particle - could theoretically cause it to become unstable leading to a “catas/Read full post »

Man Jailed After Calling and Texting Ex-Girlfriend 21,807 Times:  A 33-year-old French man, obsessed with extracting a “thank you” from his ex-girlfriend for upgrades he made to their apartment before their break-up, has been fined $1,296 and sentenced to 10 months in jail for harass/Read full post »

Deadly Cobra Captured in Los Angeles Suburb:  Southern California animal control officers say they would like to find out who is the owner of a highly venomous albino cobra that was captured a few days after it escaped and slithered off into the Los Angeles suburb of Thousand Oaks.  Finding/Read full post »

Argentine Dreadnoughtus Largest Dino Ever Found:  Researchers are studying the remains of a Dreadnoughtus, a four-legged beast with a long neck, a powerful 29-foot tail, who’s total length stretched about 85 feet and weighed about 65 tons, seven times the weight of the largest male African/Read full post »

Professor Accidentally Shoots Himself in the Foot in Class:  An Idaho State University professor with a concealed-carry gun permit accidentally shot himself in the foot with a semiautomatic handgun that was in his pocket discharged from inside his pocket in a chemistry classroom full of students/Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 2, 2014 11:43PM

Home Depot Hit By Hackers

Home Depot Hit By Hackers:  Shortly after it was revealed that Jennifer Lawrence’s iPhone had been hacked and nude photos of her posed on the internet, Home Depot confirms they’ve also been hacked and credit card data of millions of customers may have been compromised.  Thank go/Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 2, 2014 12:54AM

Prehistoric Flutes Found in German Cave

Prehistoric Flutes Found in German Cave:  A new report in the Journal of Human Evolution determined that prehistoric flutes found in a cave in southwestern Germany date back 42,000 years.  Archeologists say they can’t be sure what type of music these cavemen played on the flutes, but/Read full post »

Heart Attack Victim’s Chest Too Hairy to Use Defibrillator:  The widow of a man who suffered a massive heat attack while on board a Southwest Airlines flight from Los Angeles to Albuquerque claim that a flight attendant told her a heart defibrillator couldn’t be used because the man&/Read full post »

Stolen Rolex Watches Found in Thieves’ Vaginas:  Authorities say a pair of Rolex watches valued at $12,000 and $4,000 stolen from a two men in a Las Vegas hotel room have been recovered after police found them inside the thieves' vaginas.  Guess you could say those girls just “s/Read full post »

Brother and Sister Arrested Having Sex in Church Parking Lot:  A brother and sister have been arrested in Effingham County, Georgia for aggravated sodomy after having sex in a semi truck parked in a church parking lot across the street from a high school.  Makes you wonder just what the the/Read full post »

Two Women Arrested for Meth Lab in Church Kitchen:  Two Illinois women have been arrested for allegedly manufacturing methamphetamine inside the kitchen of a rural church.  Holy smoke, sounds like they must have been Crystal Methodists.  Religious scholars say that’s what can hap/Read full post »

Texas Family Finds Nearly Complete Mammoth Skeleton:  Scientists say a 20,000- to 40,000-year-old mammoth discovered by a North Texas family on their farm is believed to be a female because of the length of the tusks and its wide pelvic bones.  Wide pelvic bones?  Hell, it sounds more/Read full post »

Porn Star Holds Sex Marathon to Pay for Boob Implants:  A Québec porn star has agreed to host a "sex marathon” with 25 men in order to pay for her new breast implants. Now that’s probably the best example of “crowd funding” I’ve seen yet.

Porn Star 

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Guards Find Cell Phone Under Charles Manson’s Bunk:  California Department of Corrections officials announced that they have found a contraband cell phone under murderer Charles Manson’s bunk during a routine inspection of his prison cell.  I don’t see what’s the big/Read full post »

Defendant Worries His Horn Implants and 666 Tattoo May Negatively Impact Jury:  The lawyer for a Massachusetts man who has a “666″ tattoo, piercings and devil horns implanted into his forehead and nose believes that his appearance will make it impossible for him to find an impartial/Read full post »