My Take

by Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish
Malibu, California, USA
October 01
Rubbish In, Robish Out!
Johnny Robish is an actor, stand-up comic and joke/humor writer who lives in Malibu, California. Most recently, Johnny had a weekly humor column entitled “Kauai Komedy” in The Garden Island, Kauai’s main newspaper before moving back to Malibu. A committed writer, Johnny has often stated that “the only time I’m really happy is when I’m sitting in front of a typewriter. Unfortunately, there are no typewriters anymore, so I’m just miserable all the time.” A favorite at comedy clubs all over the western United States, Johnny’s humor has also been published in such diverse venues as the LA Times “Laugh Lines”, medical journals, trade publications, dozens of company newsletters, humor magazines and numerous internet sites such as The Malibu Patch, Curve Wire,, AARP, DailyComedy.Com, FunnyFirm.Com, How Sick Is That? and Peter Bergman’s Radio Free OZ which also features TV’s John Goodman, Edie McClurg and Paul Krassner. Johnny has also written for road comics including Taylor Negron, Mel Kohl, Marti Schauer and Jere Evans.

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Double Arm Transplant Recipient Thanks Doctors:  A 40-year-old quadruple amputee thanked the Boston surgeons who performed a rare, dual arm transplant on him last month, describing the experience of getting the new limbs as simply surreal.  Wonderful news!  Now, let’s give those/… Read full post »

Floating Islands Could Save the Sinking Maldives:  With rising seas threatening and situated just 5 feet above sea level, the Maldivian government has teamed up with a Dutch architectural firm to create floating islands that could hopefully save the sinking Maldives nation.  And, in keeping/… Read full post »

Bill Cosby Requested Female Letterman Staffers Watch Him Eat Curry:  Its being reported that Bill Cosby insisted that female staffers of the Letterman show all had to gather around in the green room, sit down and watch him while he ate curry.  Oh for heaven’s sake, as if Ann Curry has/… Read full post »

Hollywood Mother Claims Young Daughter Attacked by Coyotes:  A Hollywood mother is claiming that her 4-Year-Old Daughter was attacked by coyote just outside her Hollywood Hills home.  Local wildlife officials say the animal most likely came down from the hills to audition for a part in the/… Read full post »

Window Washer Lives After Falling 11-Floors Onto Moving Car:  A man described as a window washer is lucky to be alive after falling 11 stories from the roof of a San Francisco bank building onto a the roof moving car, crushing its roof and sending shattered glass flying into the street. /… Read full post »

FDA Approves Hard-to-Abuse Hydrocodone Pill:  Federal health regulators have approved the first hard-to-abuse version of the painkiller hydrocodone, offering an alternative to a similar medication that has been widely criticized for lacking such safeguards.  Critics say that just about the/… Read full post »

CERN Scientists Discover 2 New Subatomic Particles:  Scientists at the world's largest smasher (CERN) say they have discovered two new subatomic particles never seen before that could widen our understanding of the universe.  So if I’m getting all this correct, the world is made up of/… Read full post »

Woman Wears Colander for Driver's License Photo:  A Utah woman says she encountered only brief resistance when she recently had her driver's license photo taken while wearing a colander on her head as a mock religious statement.  Is it just me, or is there something about this story that ju/… Read full post »

UnknownNapoleon's Two-Pointed Hat Draws $2.2 million at Auction:  One of Napoleon's famous two-pointed hats was sold to a South Korean collector for nearly 1.9 million euros ($2.2 million) at an auction outside Paris.  Its a nice hat and all, but you’d think for that kind of money, at/… Read full post »

German Man Blows Himself Up After Family Argument:  According to local police, a 49-year-old man from a small German village blew himself up by setting off explosives inside his car following a fight with his family.   The story originally aired on TNT.  Witnesses say that after the fa/… Read full post »

Chocolate Makers Say We’re Running Out of Chocolate:  The world’s two largest chocolate makers, Mars, Inc. and Barry Callebaut, say the world is quickly running out of supplies of chocolate, with farmers now producing less cocoa than the world consumes.  Experts caution tha/… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 14, 2014 11:32PM

Islamic State Group to Mint Its Own Coins

Islamic State Group to Mint Its Own Coins:  The leader of the Islamic State group (ISIS) has ordered the terror organization to start minting gold, silver and copper coins for its own currency which will be called the Islamic dinar.  One thing’s for sure, if you ever find yourself fli/… Read full post »

Passenger Arrested After Watching Porn on Flight:  A Nevada passenger has been arrested at Denver International Airport after he was caught by another passenger touching himself while viewing pornography in-flight.  While some passengers were offended, others described the scene as very tou/… Read full post »

Mormons Admit Founder Joseph Smith Had 40 Wives:  The Mormon church has finally admitted that founder Joseph Smith married about 40 women including a 14-year-old and others who were already the wives of his followers, after having maintained for nearly 200 years that he was monogamous.  So/… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 11, 2014 11:14PM

Study Finds Sitting Less Extends Your Life

Study Finds Sitting Less Extends Your Life:  A new study says that if most people spent less than three hours a day sitting, it would add two years to the average life expectancy.  So please, next time you see an elderly person sitting comfortably on a bus, ask her to get/… Read full post »

Arizona Proclaims Colt Revolver as the State Gun:  The Arizona state legislature has designated the Colt revolver as Arizona’s official firearm, a controversial move that some critics believe sends the wrong message.  Perhaps, but not nearly as controversial as New Jersey’s deci/… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 10, 2014 12:08AM

Russians Grow Synthetic Voice Boxes

Russians Grow Synthetic Voice Boxes:  Doctors in Russia announced they have constructed the world’s first synthetic voice boxes and have transplanted into human patients.  When questioned how well the voice boxes are working, researchers say none of the recipients have said anything b/… Read full post »

Nevada Earthquake Swarm Could Mean Larger Quake Coming:  Geology officials say an earthquake swarm that began in a secluded northwest Nevada region this summer has grown more intense in recent days, increasing the chance of a large quake occurring.  Seismologists are cautioning everyone in/… Read full post »

Two Dead After Cannibal Attack in Britain:  A suspect at a British a hotel has died after being tasered by police who discovered the man eating a woman’s face in what is being described as an "act of cannibalism.”  Some question whether the police really needed to use the taser,/… Read full post »

Quadruple Amputee Sought in Death of Parents:  Law-enforcement officials in Florida are warning that a 30-year-old quadruple amputee, wanted for questioning in the killing of his parents, is on the run and considered armed and dangerous.  Wait a minute, you’re telling me that some guy/… Read full post »

AC/DC Drummer Busted for Hiring a Hit Man:  AC/DC drummer Phil Rudd has been arrested in New Zealand on charges that he attempted to have two people murdered.  Talk about dirty deeds, done dirt cheap.  Now I’m no expert on Heavy Metal bands, but I believe this might be AC/DC's fi/… Read full post »


Shy Bladder Support Group Protests DirecTV Ad:  Angry members of a shy bladder sufferers group are trying to force DirecTV to stop airing a TV ad where a "painfully awkward" actor Rob Lowe complains that he has difficultly urinating in public.  There’s actually a shy bladder su/… Read full post »

Vessel Found 20 Feet Under New Jersey Beach May Be Historical Find:  Historians and town officials are eager to excavate the remnants of a shipwrecked vessel, possibility from the 1850’s, that was discovered 20-feet under that sand by drillers preparing a protective sea wall on a on a New/… Read full post »

Teen Robs 4 Subway Shops Because Subway Diet Didn’t Work:  A teenager in Hueytown, Alabama told police that he became so angry when he didn't lose weight on the infamous Jared Subway diet that he decided to rob four Subway shops just to get his money back.  His defense will be/… Read full post »

Skulls Found in Connecticut Home are Human Remains:  A pair of Connecticut junk haulers, cleaning-up the cluttered home of a deceased man, were stunned to learn that two skulls they discovered in the home were human remains, not made of plastic as they had thought.  Forensic scientists who/… Read full post »