My Take

by Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish
Malibu, California, USA
October 01
Rubbish In, Robish Out!
Johnny Robish is an actor, stand-up comic and joke/humor writer who lives in Malibu, California. Most recently, Johnny had a weekly humor column entitled “Kauai Komedy” in The Garden Island, Kauai’s main newspaper before moving back to Malibu. A committed writer, Johnny has often stated that “the only time I’m really happy is when I’m sitting in front of a typewriter. Unfortunately, there are no typewriters anymore, so I’m just miserable all the time.” A favorite at comedy clubs all over the western United States, Johnny’s humor has also been published in such diverse venues as the LA Times “Laugh Lines”, medical journals, trade publications, dozens of company newsletters, humor magazines and numerous internet sites such as The Malibu Patch, Curve Wire,, AARP, DailyComedy.Com, FunnyFirm.Com, How Sick Is That? and Peter Bergman’s Radio Free OZ which also features TV’s John Goodman, Edie McClurg and Paul Krassner. Johnny has also written for road comics including Taylor Negron, Mel Kohl, Marti Schauer and Jere Evans.

Johnny Robish's Links

Adults Without Landlines More Likely to Become Heavy Smokers and Drinkers:  A new study found that adults in the US without landlines are more likely to be smokers and heavy drinkers.  A related study found that people are more likely to want to drink heavily after they read about studies l/Read full post »

Pelagornis Declared Largest Bird to Ever Fly:  A giant, winged fossil discovered near the Charleston airport has been declared a new species and just may be the largest flying bird to ever live with a wingspan of 24 feet.  Scientists say these birds were so large, the Flintstones would have/Read full post »

Study Claims Snoring Poses Cancer Risk:  According to a study out of University of Wisconsin-Madison, sleep apnea -- a sleep disorder associated with heavy snoring -- is also associated with a higher risk of developing cancer.  Perhaps, but I have a feeling the threat of a snorer being kill/Read full post »

World’s Earliest Erotic Graffiti Art Found on Greek Island:  A specialist in prehistoric archaeology has found what is believed to be the world’s earliest erotic graffiti art - racy inscriptions and large phalluses carved into a rock on the Greek island of Astypalaia.  He presum/Read full post »

Convicted Killer Joran van der Sloot Gets Married in Prison:  Joran van der Sloot, who was convicted of killing a Peruvian woman and is considered by many people to also be responsible for the death of 18-year-old Natalee Holloway back in 2005, has gotten married to a woman he met and/Read full post »

Icelandic Girl Denied Passport Because Her Name Is Harriet:  Iceland recently denied 10-year-old Harriet Cardew's passport renewal request because her first name doesn't comply with the 1853 approved female names listed in the Icelandic baby naming laws.  While this law may seem petty to so/Read full post »

JULY 3, 2014 8:24PM

The Weather Channel Turns 30

The Weather Channel Turns 30:  Beginning as a rather unique concept, the Weather Channel is celebrating its 30th birthday by airing special programming looking back at its 30-year journey.  While everyone publicly seemed in a celebratory mood, privately staff members admitted that its been/Read full post »

Colorado Eatery Where Armed Waitresses Serve Customers:  The owners of the western Colorado eatery called Shooters Grill - located in a town called Rifle - encourage customers to carry loaded firearms, while the waitresses carry pistols when they serve customers.  I could see where a place/Read full post »

Feds Looking for Areas to Restore Bison Herds:  In a somewhat controversial effort to restore America’s once-great bison herds, Federal officials are considering sending them to 20 parcels of public lands in 10 western states.  That’s one option, but it seems like a more obvious/Read full post »

Doctors Without Boarders Celebrates 43rd Year:  The humanitarian organization Doctors Without Boarders celebrates its 43rd birthday this year with a big fund-raiser.  Sadly, less reputable organizations such as “Nurses With Loose Morals” continue to out-raise them by 5 to 1.

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Study Finds Chimpanzees Prefer Indian and West African Music:  A new study that tested the musical tastes of humans' closest primate relative the Chimpanzees found that the chimps shun the steadily strong beats common in Western genres, preferring Indian ragas and Akan tunes from West Africa.&nb/Read full post »

NASA Says Extroverts May be Problem on Mars Missions:  A new NASA study found that having a very talkative extrovert on board on long-term space missions such as those to Mars - which could take as long as three years to complete - could create serious morale problems for astronauts.  I/Read full post »

Manatee Stranded on Florida Beach After Exhausted From Mating:  Wildlife officials say a female manatee that had to be rescued after being found stranded on a Florida beach apparently became too tired to return to the water after mating on shore.  Observers say it was pretty obvious that th/Read full post »

World’s Oldest Human Poop Found in Spain:  Scientists digging around an ancient Neanderthal campfire site in Spain called El Salt stumbled upon what they believe to be the world’s oldest human poop, dating back to 50,000-years-ago.  Not surprisingly, the archaeologist who found/Read full post »

Man Walks Into McDonald’s With Knife in His Back:  A man shocked customers when walked into a McDonald's in Jamaica, Queens with a six-inch knife sticking out of his back and speaking on his cellphone, calmly telling a family member that it might be the last time they hear from him. /Read full post »

JUNE 24, 2014 12:29AM

Men Out-Shopping Women Online

Men Out-Shopping Women Online:  Surprising new research determined that men are now out-spending women on the internet, with men spending 30% more than women online.  Unfortunately, its all being spent on porn.

Man at Computer 


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Truck Full of Instant Mashed Potato Mix Spills Its Load:  A section of a UK highway in North Yorkshire was blocked in both directions this weekend after a truck spilled its load of instant mashed potato mix all over the road and attempts to hose-down the road backfired.  Sounds more/Read full post »

Day Care Center Accused of Duck Tapping Kids to Mats:  A Texas day care center is under investigation after admitting to duct taping children to their sleeping mats when they wouldn't sleep during nap time.  Makes you wonder just what were they thinking when stun guns work a lot quicker and/Read full post »

USDA Says America’s Milk Consumption is Plummeting:  According to surprisingly new data from the USDA, Americans are now drinking 37 percent less milk than they did back in 1970.  No whey!  I’m udderly shocked!



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Harley-Davidson Unveils Electric Bike:  Harley-Davidson shocked many of its fans when it unveiled an electric bike with a sleek, futuristic version that sounds more lot like a jet airplane taking off than the typical rumble sound that Harley’s make.  Critics expressed concern that thi/Read full post »

Bears At Croatia Zoo Discovered Having Lots Of Oral Sex:  Researchers from Poland are trying to determine why a pair of male brown bears at a zoo in Croatia have been engaging in so much oral sex, with the animals preforming fellatio 28 times over the course of 116 hours.  So/Read full post »

Family Fights Cops After Being Told No Knives at Amusement Park:  Five members of a Vermont family assaulted police officers during a melee that erupted when security guards at a New Hampshire amusement park told them to leave their knives in the car.  On a positive note, its nice to see/Read full post »

Man Claims He Mercy-Killed Wife After Shooting Her By Accident:  A Colorado man who admitted to killing his wife is pleading “not guilty” to first degree murder charges by claiming that the first time he shot her was an accident and the second time was a “mercy killing” b/Read full post »

Astronomers Believe They’ve Found Our Sun’s Sister Star:  University of Texas astronomers report that a star has been found which may be a sister of our Sun, born in the same cloud of gas and dust in our Milky Way galaxy.  Of course the only way to know for sure if/Read full post »

Fossil Found During Bachelor Party is 10 Million Years Old:  According to a museum paleontologist a fossil mastodon skull found by a group attending a bachelor party at a New Mexico lakeshore is more than 10 million years old and will take at least six months to clean.  I’m all for/Read full post »