My Take

by Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish
Malibu, California, USA
October 01
Rubbish In, Robish Out!
Johnny Robish is an actor, stand-up comic and joke/humor writer who lives in Malibu, California. Most recently, Johnny had a weekly humor column entitled “Kauai Komedy” in The Garden Island, Kauai’s main newspaper before moving back to Malibu. A committed writer, Johnny has often stated that “the only time I’m really happy is when I’m sitting in front of a typewriter. Unfortunately, there are no typewriters anymore, so I’m just miserable all the time.” A favorite at comedy clubs all over the western United States, Johnny’s humor has also been published in such diverse venues as the LA Times “Laugh Lines”, medical journals, trade publications, dozens of company newsletters, humor magazines and numerous internet sites such as The Malibu Patch, Curve Wire,, AARP, DailyComedy.Com, FunnyFirm.Com, How Sick Is That? and Peter Bergman’s Radio Free OZ which also features TV’s John Goodman, Edie McClurg and Paul Krassner. Johnny has also written for road comics including Taylor Negron, Mel Kohl, Marti Schauer and Jere Evans.


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Decomposing Bodies Found at Arkansas Funeral Home:  An Arkansas funeral home has had its license suspended after an inspector found bodies stacked in a cooler packed beyond capacity and other decomposing bodies that hadn't been embalmed lying out in the open.  Sounds like they were just let/… Read full post »

Chrissy Teigen Suffers Foot Injury During Lip Sync Battle:  Supermodel Chrissy Teigen recently had to go to the hospital to treat a foot injury she sustained during a "Lip Sync Battle" for a show on Spike TV.  At first I thought, how can someone break their foot during a lip sync/… Read full post »


Super-Rare 'Living Fossil' Shark Caught Off Australian Coast:  Fishermen in Australia were stunned last month to find a dead, extremely rare “frilled shark” in their catch, whose frightening, primitive features are believed to have hardly changed over the past 80 million years/… Read full post »

Sen. Joni Ernst Used Bread Bags to Keep Feet Dry:  Iowa Sen. Joni Ernst touched on a variety of topics in her Republican rebuttal to President Obama’s State of the Union address, but perhaps most memorable was her claim that as a poor child, she had to put bread bags over/… Read full post »

Americans Spending $2 Billion Less a Week on Gas:  A new study found that compared to the first week of 2014, Americans are spending $2.4 billion less each week on gasoline.  Economists are optimistic this will free-up lots of discretionary dollars for Americans to spend on crack.

Gas Pump&n… Read full post »


Study Finds Baboons Can Recognize Written Word:  A new study which may help scientists explain how reading evolved, found that baboons can learn to recognize writing on a computer screen.  What’s the big deal?  Most of us have Facebook friends who can do that.  

%IMAG… Read full post »

Pot Supplies Now Outstripping Demand In Washington State:  ABC News is reporting that marijuana sellers in Washington are actually suffering from large unsold surpluses of pot, as supply is now vastly greater than demand inside the Evergreen State.  Which begs the question, how is it p/… Read full post »


Scientists Create Laser the Size of a Grain of Rice:  Scientists say they have created a tiny laser that is no bigger than a single grain of rice.  Yea, and you can take that information with a grain of salt.  Even so, scientists are expressing hope that this may one/… Read full post »

Rifle From 1882 Found Leaning Against Tree in Nevada Desert:  Archaeologists conducting a survey in Great Basin National Park in eastern Nevada have stumbled upon a 132-year-old Winchester rifle propped against a tree, possibly having been left there more than a century ago.  Impressive, bu/… Read full post »

Officials Seize 8-Foot Alligator from LA Backyard:  Animal officials have seized an illegal 8-foot alligator found in a box in a suburban Los Angeles backyard which officials say might have been living at the home for as long as 40 years.  Officials also add that no underage children were f/… Read full post »

Elderly California Man Speeds Through Car Wash at 40 MPH:  A 94-year-old California man got what may be the fastest car wash of all time, when his foot got stuck on the accelerator as he sped through the car wash at over 40-miles-per-hour.  In his defense - at 94 - you/… Read full post »

JANUARY 13, 2015 11:43PM

Study Finds Obesity May Be Infectious

Study Finds Obesity May Be Infectious:  Most of us are aware that obesity can be "spread" between friends when we copy each other's eating habits, but a new study in mice suggests obesity could actually be infectious as in something you can catch.  So next time someone suggests that you&rsq/… Read full post »

JANUARY 13, 2015 12:18AM

New York Subway Offering Free Wi-Fi

New York Subway Offering Free Wi-Fi:  With 1.6 billion riders each year, the new free Wi-Fi offering in New York's subways has been a big hit with commuters.  Grateful commuters point out that before the city began offering the Wi-Fi, it was really difficult to watch porn during your commut/… Read full post »

Chronic Selfie-Taking Men More Narcissistic:  A new study found that chronic selfie-taking men are more likely to exhibit narcissistic and psychopathic traits than those who don’t.  Gee, you mean people who are constantly taking pictures of themselves and posting them tend to be egoce/… Read full post »

India Plans to Clean Offices with Cow Urine:  A cow urine mixture will soon be used to clean the floors of India's government offices in a country where bovines are sacred and their bodily waste considered therapeutic.  Might work, but aren’t they concerned about leaving behind a yell/… Read full post »

JANUARY 10, 2015 12:24AM

Sales of Kefir Soaring in the US

Sales of Kefir Soaring in the US:  Thanks to a nationwide obsession with protein among the health-conscious, the somewhat sour beverage kefir is finding its way into major supermarkets around the country and reportedly selling quite well.  I can testify to that.  I had I stock of kefir/… Read full post »

Injured California Hiker Located Via Facebook:  Authorities say a badly injured California hiker stranded on a remote trail was located by a quick-thinking dispatch trainee who used the hiker’s Facebook posts about the hike to locate where the victim was after a 911 distress call got cut o/… Read full post »


Kanye West Revamps Kim Kardashian’s Entire Wardrobe:  Kim Kardashian has tweeted that Kanye West has helped her to redo her entire wardrobe for 2015.  When asked why in the world she would ever need a new wardrobe, Kardashian explained that Bruce Jenner’s now wearing all/… Read full post »

Florida Man Brings Baby to Home Burglary:  A Florida man is being accused of bringing his 5-month-old son along to a home burglary attempt, during which he set the baby down so that he could pull a knife on the homeowner.  What I find really disturbing about this is had he/… Read full post »

Researcher Outlines Dirty Bomb Danger in LA:  A USC researcher says if Los Angeles were to fall victim to a terrorist attack, it would most likely be from a "dirty bomb."  This, in contrast to New York, where terrorists would likely use a “dirty, rotten bomb.” 

Dirty Bomb … Read full post »

JANUARY 4, 2015 11:38PM

Moderate Earthquake Strikes Idaho

Moderate Earthquake Strikes Idaho:  A 4.9 magnitude earthquake in a remote Idaho county has triggered rock slides that blocked some road roads, but did not cause any major damage or injuries.  Geez, we can only hope Ted Kaczynski's shack is still okay.  Seismologists say there’s/… Read full post »

JANUARY 3, 2015 11:38PM

Oklahoma Senate Considers Hoodie Ban

HoodieOklahoma Senate Considers Hoodie Ban:  The act of wearing a hoodie in public may soon be illegal in Oklahoma under a bill proposed by Republican state Senator Dan Barrington, who feels that the garments make it way too easy for someone to conceal their identity.  Violators will be fa/… Read full post »

Researchers Say Swimming Best Exercise for Older People:  Researchers say that while its extremely important for older people to exercise, swimming is perhaps the best exercise for seniors because there is considerably less danger of falling while swimming.  I’m an early adapter. /… Read full post »

JANUARY 2, 2015 12:14AM

Saudi 2014 Beheadings the Most in Years

Saudi 2014 Beheadings the Most in Years:  Amnesty International reports that Saudi Arabia beheaded 83 people in 2014, the most in 5 years.  I don’t know about beheadings, but I once met a guy from Saudi Arabia who had his hand chopped off for shoplifting.  Ironically, it was a se/… Read full post »

Pastor and Staffer in Shootout at Florida Church:  Authorities in Florida say that a maintenance worker at a church in Osceola County, Florida has been shot and is in critical condition after he got into a shootout with the church pastor.  Humm, I think I saw that movie…"Pulpit FictiRead full post »