Starbucks Moves Into Vending Machines: Starbucks has announced that it will soon partner with Coinstar to take coffee vending machines nationwide. Because what the world needs is a $4 cup of coffee served out of a vending machine.
Giant Venomous Spiders Attack in India: Panic is spreading throughout a remote part of northeast India after colonies of giant venomous biting spiders have attacked villagers, killing two people. Hell, giant venomous spiders have been chasing after drug addicts trying to sober up in rehab clinics for years.
Cartel Laundering Millions Through Horse Races: In something right out of a James Bond movie, the U.S. Justice Department alleges that a Mexican drug cartel laundered millions of dollars in drug money through U.S. horse races. I’m gonna have to assume that they’re having better luck at the track than I am.
Saudi Princess Tries to Skip Out on $7.4 Million Hotel Bill: Reports out of Paris are saying that a Saudi princess was caught trying to slip out of ultra-luxury Shangri-La hotel in the middle of the night with 60 servants in tow without settling her $7.4 million bill. She has sixty servants? That’s crazy! When told about the incident, Mitt Romney said “most people I know could have gotten by with half that number.”