My Take

by Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish
Malibu, California, USA
October 01
Rubbish In, Robish Out!
Johnny Robish is an actor, stand-up comic and joke/humor writer who lives in Woodland Hills, California. Most recently, Johnny had a weekly humor column entitled “Kauai Komedy” in The Garden Island, Kauai’s main newspaper before moving back to Malibu. A committed writer, Johnny has often stated that “the only time I’m really happy is when I’m sitting in front of a typewriter. Unfortunately, there are no typewriters anymore, so I’m just miserable all the time.” A favorite at comedy clubs all over the western United States, Johnny’s humor has also been published in such diverse venues as the LA Times “Laugh Lines”, medical journals, trade publications, dozens of company newsletters, humor magazines and numerous internet sites such as The Malibu Patch, Curve Wire,, AARP, DailyComedy.Com, FunnyFirm.Com, How Sick Is That? and Peter Bergman’s Radio Free OZ which also features TV’s John Goodman, Edie McClurg and Paul Krassner. Johnny has also written for road comics including Taylor Negron, Mel Kohl, Marti Schauer and Jere Evans.

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DECEMBER 3, 2012 12:05AM

Hefner and Crystal Harris Back Together

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Hefner and Crystal Harris Back Together:  According to a new report, Hugh Hefner, 86, and Crystal Harris, 26, are engaged again and planning to tie the knot on New Year's Eve.  And before you know it, she’ll be busy changing diapers.  Sadly though, it’ll most likely be Hefner’s diapers.


Researchers Use Supercomputers to Model Beating Human Heart:  Researchers at Lawrence Livermore Laboratory are using the Sequoia supercomputer and a code called Cardioid to, for the first time, model the beating of the human heart in real time.  Doctors say that while this is quite an accomplishment, its gonna extremely difficult to plant one of these supercomputers into a human chest cavity.


Grand Canyon’s Age Disputed:  A bitter controversy among geologists over the age of the Grand canyon has surfaced after a report published in the journal Science offered support for a hypothesis which believes the canyon is 70 million years old instead of the commonly held 6 million years old.  Which has many Republicans asking what’s the difference as long as the Grand Canyon isn’t applying for a driver’s license? 


Wyoming Teacher Shot in Head With Bow and Arrow: A Wyoming college teacher has been hailed a hero after he gave his students time to flee when his son barged into his classroom and shot him in the head with a high-powered bow and arrow.  Now that’s the kind of hunting trip only Dick Cheney could appreciate. 


LA Teen Prostitutes Coming From Foster Homes:  According to county officials, the majority of young people who work as prostitutes in LA County come from the county’s own foster care system.  So it turns out the LA County foster care system is also kind of a trade school too.


Russia Panics Over Mayan Apocalypse:  Reacting to conspiracy theorists who think that the long-awaited Mayan apocalypse will come true, many Russians have begun buying supplies, building strange archways, and otherwise losing their minds.  Which begs the question, just what kind of supplies do you think you’re gonna need if the world comes to an end? 

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satire, humor, comedy

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That old fart, HEFNER, still has the ol' magic, though, doesn't he? I'm only 71 but the only way I'd get a 26 year old woman on her back is with a high powered rifle and a good 'scope!

Maybe Hef already has a miniature one.....

A drivers licence? Heck it ought to be applying for a pension!

Nah...... The kid was a much better shot......

It's ahead of its time. Prostitution won't be legalized for another 10 years or so.
Perhaps Nevada should look into this.....

Beef jerky. Lots n' lots of beef jerky. And vodka. Much vodka.

Grab a couple of cases of Fancy Feast in case I survive it too.....