Hefner and Crystal Harris Back Together: According to a new report, Hugh Hefner, 86, and Crystal Harris, 26, are engaged again and planning to tie the knot on New Year's Eve. And before you know it, she’ll be busy changing diapers. Sadly though, it’ll most likely be Hefner’s diapers.
Researchers Use Supercomputers to Model Beating Human Heart: Researchers at Lawrence Livermore Laboratory are using the Sequoia supercomputer and a code called Cardioid to, for the first time, model the beating of the human heart in real time. Doctors say that while this is quite an accomplishment, its gonna extremely difficult to plant one of these supercomputers into a human chest cavity.
Grand Canyon’s Age Disputed: A bitter controversy among geologists over the age of the Grand canyon has surfaced after a report published in the journal Science offered support for a hypothesis which believes the canyon is 70 million years old instead of the commonly held 6 million years old. Which has many Republicans asking what’s the difference as long as the Grand Canyon isn’t applying for a driver’s license?
Wyoming Teacher Shot in Head With Bow and Arrow: A Wyoming college teacher has been hailed a hero after he gave his students time to flee when his son barged into his classroom and shot him in the head with a high-powered bow and arrow. Now that’s the kind of hunting trip only Dick Cheney could appreciate.
LA Teen Prostitutes Coming From Foster Homes: According to county officials, the majority of young people who work as prostitutes in LA County come from the county’s own foster care system. So it turns out the LA County foster care system is also kind of a trade school too.
Russia Panics Over Mayan Apocalypse: Reacting to conspiracy theorists who think that the long-awaited Mayan apocalypse will come true, many Russians have begun buying supplies, building strange archways, and otherwise losing their minds. Which begs the question, just what kind of supplies do you think you’re gonna need if the world comes to an end?