Rod Emmons

Rod Emmons
Location
Cape Coral, Florida, United States
Birthday
June 01
Bio
MY OPEN SALON BIO (‘Cause someone said I needed one) BLOG: Oh how I hate that word. The idea is great, but the word, itself, sounds so ... so icky. It's a name for something caught in your throat or something stuck to the bottom of your shoes ... something someone did that smells ... not a name for a journal or diary or random editorializing. Whose word is that, anyway? Smells awfully yuppie to me. Yet here I am, stuck in computor-ese, once more dancing to someone else’s drum … Blogging. Oh well, maybe I can get past that. 'Cause while I’m here, I’d occasionally like to do a little soul searching, sometimes think out loud, let others hear, and see what kind of s--t that stirs up. My life’s path has wandered into sales, management, banking, appraising, real estate, construction, design … yes, even politics … and a host of other activities that together, I think have opened my eyes, and hopefully, my mind. So you’ll get a dose of me from several perspectives, some a little tame, others fairly jaded, all a little philosophical. I can’t help it; it’s an itch that needs to be scratched, and now the pus is about to spill onto this site. Anyway, I tend to be irreverent, sarcastic and glib, and there's a good chance I’ll say something that will piss you off. In that event, just click the red "X" in the upper right corner, I’ll disappear and you'll be safe after that. But if you’re willing to take a risk, and aren’t afraid of skinning your knees, come on in. You might have some fun and there’s a first-aid kit close by. Just remember: proceed with caution, avoid the puddles, and always … ALWAYS! … wear rubbers (on your shoes).

Rod Emmons's Links

Salon.com
NOVEMBER 20, 2009 8:56AM

EYE CAN C !!!!

IT'S OFFICIAL;

 

I can see again!   And it is startlingly fantastic!

 

I thought I knew how blind I was.  After all, everything I looked at was a blur.  I had even given to carrying a magnifying glass so that I could read.  I had to use it to settle/… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 16, 2009 8:13AM

The Eyes Have It!

In December of 2007, I had cataract surgery on my left eye.  Two weeks later … in January of 2008, I had the right eye done.   The benefits were remarkable!   For the first time in a decade, I could see clearly without glasses – except to read, where a still need/… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 6, 2009 8:42AM

FRIDAY ... Trash Day, Nov. 6, 2009

JUNK MAIL FOR THE BORED AND BORING: 

BREAKING NEWS!!!!!  McCain Endorses Obama Healthcare 

In a move that shocked even himself, this morning Senator John McCain endorsed President Barack Obama’s healthcare plan, even to include a fully funded Government Option.  He then wokeRead full post »

OCTOBER 30, 2009 8:07AM

Surf'n with the Stump

IN HONOR OF LITTLEWILLIE'S FRIEND, TIMMY 

And ode to Timmy Stump (to the tune of Surf City)

 

Where the water is warm

And the fish are swimm’n

            Stump Timmy, he’s the one

You can find him there

Hang’n with the… Read full post »

OCTOBER 18, 2009 4:48PM

Karen, The Ultimate Gift (part 3)

THE FINAL CHAPTER 

 

Ever since I entered politics, I’ve had an unlisted number.  In those days, it was prudent.  However, I continued that way in the years that followed … 1982 to 1994, and even to this day.  Therefore, I was truly surprised when my phone rang o/… Read full post »

OCTOBER 16, 2009 9:08AM

On The Lighter Side (boring Friday)

CAUTION:  X-RATED MATERIAL AHEAD

 

I am not writing about healthcare today.  Nor am I writing about any of my previous wives.  In fact, I don’t even want to write this prologue, but must …

 

… because the material that lies ahead is not for eyes that might f… Read full post »

OCTOBER 12, 2009 5:21PM

Karen - The Ultimate Gift (part 2)

It was a time to celebrate.  The CAT results said all the tumors were “dead” … 27 of them in all.  For over 20 weeks, we had lived with the possibility that the chemo would fail; twenty weeks of putting on your best face, making up stuff to laugh at, trying/… Read full post »

OCTOBER 9, 2009 5:47PM

Karen - The Ultimate Gift (part 1)

A Follow-up to "THEY CALLED HER KAREN"

It is overwhelming to meet someone, and to know almost instantly that this is the person for you; the one you want to spend the rest of your life with; the one person you can not live without.  If you haven’t experienced it, I’m not… Read full post »

OCTOBER 8, 2009 9:43AM

Uncle Rod's Advice for Bachelors

Originally written as (UNCLE ROD’S RULES FOR BACHELORHOOD)     © Rod Emmons, 2007

The other day I received an e-mail from an acquaintance that said, “Uncle Rod, for a man your age, you seem to have managed this bachelorhood thing pretty well. You live well, you s… Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 29, 2009 6:27PM

Have I got News for You - 9/29/09

Today's Headline Stories: 

Endangered gorillas join Facebook, MySpace

African wildlife agency taps social networking sites to help save species.  Individual gorilla listings to occur.

In an effort to save gorillas, an African wildlife agency is assisting individual gorillas in establishinRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 27, 2009 5:05PM

A Different Thing by Me

Cattle Call 

Wasted flesh around the altar

Hoping that their dreams won’t falter,

Waiting for the nightly slaughter

… With a half-filled glass.

 

Fluffy plumage, puffed out chests,

Suggestive language to invest

Each proclaiming they’re the best

… At making dreams… Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 25, 2009 5:55PM

Today, I Turned Over a New Leaf

Today, I turned over a new leaf.  I knew it was new because it was a fairly small leaf, as all new ones tend to be, and bright yellow/green.  Old leaves tend to be larger and dark green or colorful in their red and orange prior to turning *dead*.  Mine wasRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 23, 2009 10:25AM

An Open Letter to Common Tater

Dear Spud:

Regarding your first post, thanks for asking my opinion.  I’ve given it considerable thought overnight, yet still not certain how to answer. But I will try, long winded as it may be.

Your words to me (edited) were:  Rod - … If the politic is something you canRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 21, 2009 7:45PM

Dealing With Writer's Block

SEPTEMBER 19, 2009 10:26AM

They Called Her Karen

But her real name was “Love.”

Karen & I ... 1984 

Finally, I can post a picture.  It took me all frigg'n day to figure it out ... and help from Cartouche.  Thanks Cart.  Karen & I ... 1984. 

In the few short months I’ve been hanging around Open Salon, I’Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 18, 2009 9:52AM

The Way We Were

Originally written two years ago, revised for the current moment

I’m getting soft … and shorter, too.  I used to be tall and thin … six-one and one-seventy … but time and gravity have lessened my height.  An abundance of food, along with a woeful lack of exercise,Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 17, 2009 11:47AM

Gaucho Marks The Spot

I know it’s not Tuesday, but …

This is too good to wait. 

So in the spirit of Haiku Thursday,

“Gaucho Steak” 

Eat

This

Now! 

It is what I ate last night; what I’ve eaten several times before, and what I will eat again tonight.  It is called “Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 15, 2009 9:19AM

Uncle Harry's Kick-Ass Chili!

It’s football season:And McGuire is calling us out! 

This is my response (see you in two, McG … Go Gators!!!!)

My uncle Harry makes some kick-ass chili.  And he is dedicated to it being real chili, not that pretend stuff you might get in a can ... or think chiliRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 14, 2009 3:01PM

The Ugly American

It is true that the ugly head of bigotry has been awakened.   It is evident by some of the recently reported comments regarding President Obama and his concept for health care.  It is also true that the head of bigotry is being well fed with its favorite food ... hatred.  Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 10, 2009 11:36AM

HOUSE ... Episode 23; The Surgery

My Doc’s Cane is Xylocaine:

·         The doctor said, “What’s this?” When he saw my note.  I explained it was his instructions.  He chuckled, briefly.  I’m glad he found it funny. 

·  &nRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 7, 2009 7:09PM

What's Up, Doc?

TOMORROW MORNING…

… when they roll me into the operating room, the following note will be tape to my chest: 

THIS SIDE UP 

HANDLE WITH CARE 

OPEN CAREFULLY 

CLOSE ACCORDING TO DIRECTIONS 

DO NOT DESTROY CONTAINER 

RETURN TO MANUFACTURER IN ORIGINAL CONDITIRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 4, 2009 7:42AM

CUTTING UP AGAIN ...

PINNING THE TAIL ON THE JACKASS ....

I am finally scheduled for surgery again … next Tuesday, the 8th. After the previous false start, and the subsequent tests that followed, I am anxious to get this show on the road.

For the uninitiated, this is back surgery … L4 -… Read full post »

AUGUST 31, 2009 8:30AM

A Rose By Any Other Name ...

Saturday, I had my usual lunch with my black friend, Sol.   I say “black,” but Sol hasn’t always been black.  In the beginning … during his childhood, … he was “colored” which quite honestly worked out well for him because it allowed him to b/… Read full post »

Testing, 1-2, Testing 1-2

So Friday, I had my stress test.  I got a “B.  Just glad Cindy Ross wasn’t grading (just kidding, Cindy; I just felt compelled to mention your name).

Stress tests are stressful: I mean BEFORE you take the damn things.   

This one was for me; IRead full post »

AUGUST 27, 2009 4:05PM

The Dating Game

WILL CONTESTANT THREE IDENTIFY YOURSELF?

I have a profile on a dating site.  I don’t go there much anymore, and even when I do I never contact anyone.  The few I have met via it are rarely what I am expecting after reading their profile, and I wind up wasting an… Read full post »