My sixty-something ex-wife still wears a bikini … in public … and looks good doing it.  That’s not to say that she looks like a twenty year old … or even forty.  But she looks, as “they” say, good for her age … really good.

There are those that seem offended by this … other women.  She lives in a retirement community comprised of the “over fifty” crowd, and it’s one of those places with a lot of [fun?] community activities, like shuffle board and pot luck dinners and a community pool.  She only uses the pool.

When she goes to the pool … wearing her bikini … the other ladies … wearing their “over fifty’ swim suits … look upon her with distain.  They ignore her.  Or they frown at her.  Or they whisper about her.  Or they do all three.  It seems that they don’t much like her, and her guess is it’s the bikini.  She’s probably right.

Their husbands don’t seem to mind.  In fact, they seem to enjoy it.  Some even talk to her, although not often, particularly if their wives are around.  But they do observe.  And they smile.  And occasionally she sees them whisper, too.  My guess is their whispers differ from those of their wives.

Frankly, I’m proud of her.  I dig older women who have not given way to the notion that being old means you have to act old … or look old.  So many older women seem to believe to the contrary.  As they age, they magnify that fact.  Long hair becomes short, dresses become longer, collars get higher, pants get baggier, bellies get bigger.  “Matronly” seems to be the word of the day.  “Sloppy,” too.   They seem compelled to accept this role. It’s as though it’s expected.

But my ex always looks young for her age.  Her hair is long and stylish.  Her clothes are contemporary and tight fitting.   Her blouses are low cut.  In short, she is sexy.

No doubt, some of this is due to genetics.  She’s half Italian, half French.  But it’s attitude, too, and her attitude exudes sensuality.  Thus, her body … and the clothes she places on it … portrays it.

But don’t think of her as someone who was simply blessed.  She is what she is because she chooses to be.  Hell, she’s had six kids, not exactly a formula for a good body at sixty-plus.  And like all of us, she has suffered the effects of gravity.  But at no time in her life has she ever opted to let that fact keep her from thinking “attractive” … and acting it, too.  She makes herself look good, and she carries herself that way as well.

In one sense, I don’t blame her neighbor ladies from being jealous.  As much as they’ve given way to their time, so have their husbands, not exactly inspirations for maintaining the aura of sex.  Their husbands dress as sloppy as the ladies do … baggy shorts, faded tee shirts, fat bellies.  Many of them look like blimps with legs.  They all seem to walk bow-legged. What’s with that?

Both my ex-wife and I are still sexually active … though since the divorce, not so much together.  But when we were married, it was one of our few strong points.  And as it were, we are both still considered “attractive” … for our age. When we were together, we were sexually attracted to each other … even as we began to hug the age of sixty.  So sex was and is a driving force for us both. 

It makes me wonder about those others … her friends by the pool.  Do they still “do it?”  Do they even want to?  And what about their husbands?  Certainly the way they look at my ex, their minds are on more than their next beer.  But what of their wives; do they ever desire their wives … or their wives, them?  And if so, why is it that none of them … men or women … seem motivated to act like it, and for God’s sake, look like it?  No, they all seem intent on looking as lousy as they can … as sexless as they can.

I can’t imagine life without sex.  It has been my favorite hobby since I was a teen.  As much as I love sports, there is no way I’m playing golf if I can be dancing horizontally.  I know my ex feels the same … ‘cept not about sports.  But I bet she’d give up shopping for a good roll in the hay.  So she keeps herself looking good, knowing that by doing so, her chances of that action are vastly improved.

Looking good does take work.  It might even involve dieting and exercising.  Personally, I hate both, and avoid both as much as I can.  But I also understand reality, and the reality is, if you want to look good, you have to make an effort. 

So what goes on in the back of the minds of those “others?”  Do they all secretly crave a different life … one where they are sexy?  Deep inside, do they still long for those “good old days” when kids and grandkids were a distant thought for the future, and making them was much more in the forefront of their minds?  Geez, I hope so.

Then maybe they’d be less inclined to judge my ex, and more inclined to be like her.  I hope for that, too.  I could use the added scenery.