AN OPEN LETTER TO JOYONBOARD
Joy … Whoa! Be careful what you ask for, right? You asked about Flounce? You certainly got some answers. Glad I missed this yesterday so that I could read all the comments today (116). WOW!
And now I want to add my three cents (up one, due to inflation). So ….
Personally, I am less interested in why people flounce than I am that people even use the word. When I find myself reading “words” like flounce and meta and dust-up … and yes, even newbie … I feel less like I am at a site for writers, but instead like I accidentally stumbled into a site for sorority sisters.; one with secret handshakes and passwords. It is not a place where men live, not the men I know … if Denise Montgomery’s description of flounce is correct, to wit:
Kicking up one's heels, dramatically throwing a feather boa over one's shoulder, violently rearranging one's crinoline, and haughtily harrumphing on the way out the door all earn extra style points, but are not strictly required for a Full Flounce to be recorded in the books.
Men don’t do that stuff … ever! …or even a reasonable male facsimile … ever!
Most of us prefer four-letter words. Flounce has seven … and “meta” is not a word … unless it’s capitalized, and then it is a river in Columbia. It can be a prefix (metaphysical, metamathamatics, etc.) wherein it would mean, “used with the name of a discipline to designate a new but related discipline designed to deal critically with the original one.”(1) But it is not a word … except here … another secret society word for the open salon sorority.
Not that the “I Felta Thi” Sorority can’t be hard edged, too; I’ve seen some downright razor sharp explosions come from the IFT House … and in waves; painful stuff designed to intimidate and insult. I’ve seen some frat boys do that, too … like they had somehow been appointed to chief critic or justice or god or something. But still, no respectable man would “flounce” (and call it that) … not out loud … in a crowd (unless it is with his buds, say on the golf course, where we might flounce a few competitive ones to see who can flounce the loudest, longest and …the booby prize … the wettest). We don’t “meta” either. We may rant, argue, debate, even insult. But we do not meta.
As to Dust-ups: This word, phrase …whatever … is particularly annoying to me in that it is entirely too similar to another word …Dustoff …a term used in Nam (and maybe since) to describe the removal of dead Americans from a specific event. Example: 01 May 68 1810H
Co A mortar platoon request DUSTOFF for 2 US WHA result Booby trap of unk type. BS474863, Dustoff completed 1821H. Indiv. Concerned; George P*****, Mark A*******. Just so you know.
IN any event, Dust-up: Whatever happened to real words … like disagreement and argument? Does Dust-up somehow sound better? Is poison any less deadly if you don’t call it poison?
Truly, I marvel at this apparent need to create an “insider’s” vocabulary … and the lure it creates to the newbie like it is the “key” to ultimate acceptance. S that the message? Which brings me to “Newbie” (which I know is not exclusive to here): If ever a word sounded like 2nd grade, it is that word. I have no doubt a grade school teacher introduced that word to the Internet world. What amazes me is that it stuck.
Now I could get that … maybe …if OS was a sorority …or fraternity … or some other sort of social club like Kiwanis and Rotary … Moose and Elks. That’s what they are; social/civic organizations with charters and officers and rules and meetings … even secret words and handshakes …all that stuff. And I suppose some of that could be applied to OS. But it seems that most of the folks I’ve met here came here to write something … not join something. They put their stuff out there for you and I to peruse, and in addition, we are given a vehicle to comment …if we like. In fact, we can comment from any point of view; as to writing skill or content or even the smile or name on their Avatar. We can even be cruel.
But we don’t have to be.
And when we are … from my perspective … it is way more of a negative reflection on us than on the writer; and way more of a negative to the site and what it should represent … an open forum …when we cause people to leave … uh … flounce … because we insult their point of view.
So I hear all of you out there who are critical of the “flouncer;” that they are nothing more than attention seekers, et. al. But rarely have I read one who said “I want out of here” who hasn’t just had his/her ass handed to them by the some band of wolves.
And if there is to be a special language … and special rules … and a special dogma (like we only like liberals or some such shit), then let’s publish it; let’s demand the OS acknowledge it; make it the “member’s” credo. Then I could solemnly swear to:
- love thy newbies as thyself,
- never meta beyond my means,
- Dust up those who dust themselves, and
- always flounce in Internet-ese.
BRB ,,, K? IHTFN (Or for those writers who enjoy the written word: Be right back. OK? I have to flounce now.).
© Copyright, June, 2010, Rod Emmons Enterprises
TIP:
Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
Travelight32
Alysa Salzberg
Lunchlady 2
A Persistent Muse
Mission
Gabby Abby
Salon.com
Comments
R~
Real Good, Rod.
~R R R
But, as Mark Trost pointed out, some of us joined to write...to get published, to be read, to get feedback, and, I suppose, to find expression in our observations and experiences. And, I hope, to enjoy the company of other writers both on and off the front pages. That still continues...and when the sh*t starts flying, I just open my umbrella.
RATED
Sometimes people leave because they're simply tired of all the ass handing and shit throwing in the comments sections of some overwise delightful posts.
I wish that those with greivances would limit themselves to snarking at each other in PM's (private messages) and leave those of us that are here for the simple joy of reading, writing, and interacting with other readers and writers in peace.
As for the OS slang, I find it charming......
WTF is "OS"?
i'm so glad when you post something, and it's been a while. this is vintage rod emmons, and so good. how's the eye, pirate? arggggh!
Love this, love you. I really wish the term "newbies" could be retired to a gated community in Florida, but not near you!LYMI. (Love You, Mean It).
Just kidding.
Re. Inside lingo: When I met my late wife, Karen, she was an Orthodonic Assisitant. I was serving on a public body (and having said that, I can already hear Bill Beck's mind at work). One day we were talking and she was tossing out all sorts of orthodonic stuff ... like bicuspid, lingual, overbite ... wierd stuff ... and I said, "Would you mind talking English?" She looked at me in astonishment, and countered, "Have you ever listened to one of your meetings? The crap you throw out ... like DRI, Comp. Plan, Impact Statement, LPC, etc." Nobody has a clue as to what you people are discussing. And she was right. But what I only then came to understand was, in our effort to engage others in dialog, we in fact left them feeling excluded. Sometimes substitute words or abbreviations are needed; more often, they are not. I consider most of it bullshit ... just like the secret handshake we have in my fraternity ... utter and complete Bullshit.
But to Buff ... thanks, hon. I love your mind, too ... and the rest of you as well ... and I'd love to stick my tongue in your cheek. xoxox
Joy ... I used your post as a vehicle.largely because you asked the typical newcomer (or as we OSers prefer, Newbie) question, but even moreso because I have wanted to write a post like this for a long time ... and your piece helped set the plate. Thanks!
Smithery ... Obviously "Happy Valley" is therefore mythical.
Poppi ... You're right. Crinoline is not for me. But what can you picture me flouncing in ... and for God's sake, where do you all do your flouncing, living on that iceberg?
Owl ... Whooo? Me?
Mark ... Good points; and there *are* many, many good writers here ... and even some of *them* rant. Etc. Etc. However, my piece was about the insider language and what I feel about it.
As to who writes here ... most sites I've visited, writers tend to segregate, mostly of their own volition. It seems that writers of certain genre tend to flock together ... fiction to fiction, poets to poets, etc. Here, it seems more like alphabet soup ... and there is a lot more social commentary ... which I like in its own way, but which tends to generate responses that are much more passionate ... even inflamatory ... and which for some writers is unexpected.
At OS responses can seem much more personal ... as if they are at your front door, and may often come with insults attached. I believe that for some, that is hard food to swallow ... like the young woman who felt her (Catholic) church was being attacked ... and they are not equipped for that. Some defend doing that. I find it rude and unnecessary. One cna easily disagree without being mean spirited, and as I said in my post, it speaks poorly of thoise who do it, not who they do it to. But that's just me. Some people find being vitriolic a social skill.
Bonnie ... not to knit pick, but you said, "Some mem wear Boas." That should read, Some *males* wear boas. Men wear Levis ... (slim cut, size 34-32 ... just say'n). ;o)
Sweetfeet ... You like the lingo? Well, your supposed to, sis.
TME ... Woven armpits conjures up pictures even I won't write about. But what's a coochie ... and would I want one in my hand, too?
Nikki ... Thanks for your input. It stands on its own. However, let me offer one observation: To me, saying *We* writers are a fragile bunch is like saying, "We athletes are big bunch; we philosophers are a Greek bunch; we critics are a sinister bunch." No one size fits all. In fact, I have among my friends a couple of pretty successful writers ... actually, authors ... who are a zillion miles from fragile. But they are published by actual publishers ... not self ... and promoted ... and do book tours and all that writer stuff; even show up on best seller lists. Believe me, they are far from fragile, and spend way more time hanging with street urchins than other writers.
One of them (who I invited to "tour" here, and who I guided to a couple of the more famous "dust-ups") in describing what he read, used the word, pretentious. But I don't think he was applying that to ALL of us.
Littlewillie ... you are so right; real men don't eat flounce. It smells way too much like Chiche. (I think it's chiche.)
Ginny ... Your comments are Correcto Mundo and should be included in ANY post written on the subjects of flounce, dust-ups, rants, raves and all other events of a similar nature but as yet un-named. And you prove my point when you say you find the lingo charming ... sorority stuff (he adds, giving her the secret wink)!
Bill Beck ... What the fuck is WTF? FYI: OS means fine tobacco.
Scarlett ... Just as long as you *really, really* like me, I will write anything you want me to say.
Chirstine B ... anyone who has a typewriter as her symbol (avatar) is OK by me. And you are right ... lotsa excellence here. We should welcome them all, but also maybe the not-so-excellent, too. Huh? The OS door does say, OPEN, doesn't it?
Bea ... Damn, Bea, those are real Greek letters! Was Tau Nu Beta co-ed? I'd have loved to seen you on Tuesday nights ... but not Wednesday mornings.
aim ... dear, you ... a real co-ed frat. (But are you sure, or did some guy give you that co-ed Sh*t just to get you in his room) ( I'm too old now to pull that stunt, but in a couple more years I may pass that one along to my grandsons ... "Hey Brantley; Garrett ... try this!"). You, dear, are just way to cute for words.
Lainey ... we are never stuck. Watch this: Newbie = Newcomer (eight letters instead of six); Dust-up = disagreement - or if you really think that saving letters will help save the planet - debate; meta = rant (otherwise it means "river in Columbia"); flounce = leave ... less letters!
Question: Did you ever see those people who you knew were *trying* to be cool just to be cool ... I mean that was their goal, kinda like *Valley Girls* ... in an effort to set themselves apart, not in an independent way, but in a superior way. did you/ In their efforts, it was all about the way they walked, they way they talked, the way they stood, even the way they chewed their obligatory) gum. They worked at it. It was the essence of their substance, nothing more.
And they were cool! Except only to them. To everyone else they were just phony. Did you ever see those people?
Bonnie ... Vally girls, shmally girls ... it is about pretentiousness; that somehow someone feels compelled to portend superiority. Being superior at anything is NOT something someone can claim; it is earned by deed and awarded via admiration. ~Saying it don't make it so~
Love ya and feel sorry for ya having to *actually* see old Valley Girls. I thought they were a myth.