Rod Emmons

Rod Emmons
Location
Cape Coral, Florida, United States
Birthday
June 01
Bio
MY OPEN SALON BIO (‘Cause someone said I needed one) BLOG: Oh how I hate that word. The idea is great, but the word, itself, sounds so ... so icky. It's a name for something caught in your throat or something stuck to the bottom of your shoes ... something someone did that smells ... not a name for a journal or diary or random editorializing. Whose word is that, anyway? Smells awfully yuppie to me. Yet here I am, stuck in computor-ese, once more dancing to someone else’s drum … Blogging. Oh well, maybe I can get past that. 'Cause while I’m here, I’d occasionally like to do a little soul searching, sometimes think out loud, let others hear, and see what kind of s--t that stirs up. My life’s path has wandered into sales, management, banking, appraising, real estate, construction, design … yes, even politics … and a host of other activities that together, I think have opened my eyes, and hopefully, my mind. So you’ll get a dose of me from several perspectives, some a little tame, others fairly jaded, all a little philosophical. I can’t help it; it’s an itch that needs to be scratched, and now the pus is about to spill onto this site. Anyway, I tend to be irreverent, sarcastic and glib, and there's a good chance I’ll say something that will piss you off. In that event, just click the red "X" in the upper right corner, I’ll disappear and you'll be safe after that. But if you’re willing to take a risk, and aren’t afraid of skinning your knees, come on in. You might have some fun and there’s a first-aid kit close by. Just remember: proceed with caution, avoid the puddles, and always … ALWAYS! … wear rubbers (on your shoes).

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Salon.com
JUNE 30, 2010 10:15AM

Flouncing For Joy

Rate: 20 Flag

AN OPEN LETTER TO JOYONBOARD 

Joy … Whoa!  Be careful what you ask for, right?  You asked about Flounce?  You certainly got some answers.   Glad I missed this yesterday so that I could read all the comments today (116).   WOW! 

And now I want to add my three cents (up one, due to inflation).  So …. 

Personally, I am less interested in why people flounce than I am that people even use the word.  When I find myself reading “words” like flounce and meta and dust-up … and yes, even newbie … I feel less like I am at a site for writers, but instead like I accidentally stumbled into a site for sorority sisters.; one with secret handshakes and passwords.   It is not a place where men live, not the men I know … if Denise Montgomery’s description of flounce is correct, to wit  

Kicking up one's heels, dramatically throwing a feather boa over one's shoulder, violently rearranging one's crinoline, and haughtily harrumphing on the way out the door all earn extra style points, but are not strictly required for a Full Flounce to be recorded in the books.  

Men don’t do that stuff … ever! …or even a reasonable male facsimile … ever! 

Most of us prefer four-letter words.  Flounce has seven … and “meta” is not a word … unless it’s capitalized, and then it is a river in Columbia.  It can be a prefix (metaphysical, metamathamatics, etc.) wherein it would mean, “used with the name of a discipline to designate a new but related discipline designed to deal critically with the original one.”(1)  But it is not a word … except here … another secret society word for the open salon sorority. 

Not that the “I Felta Thi” Sorority can’t be hard edged, too; I’ve seen some downright razor sharp explosions come from the IFT House … and in waves; painful stuff designed to intimidate and insult.   I’ve seen some frat boys do that, too … like they had somehow been appointed to chief critic or justice or god or something.   But still, no respectable man would “flounce” (and call it that) … not out loud … in a crowd (unless it is with his buds, say on the golf course, where we might flounce a few competitive ones to see who can flounce the loudest, longest and …the booby prize … the wettest).  We don’t “meta” either.  We may rant, argue, debate, even insult.  But we do not meta. 

As to Dust-ups:  This word, phrase …whatever … is particularly annoying to me in that it is entirely too similar to another word …Dustoff …a term used in Nam (and maybe since) to describe the removal of dead Americans from a specific event.  Example: 01 May 68     1810H
Co A mortar platoon request DUSTOFF for 2 US WHA result Booby trap of unk type. BS474863, Dustoff completed 1821H. Indiv. Concerned; George P*****, Mark A*******.  Just so you know.
 

IN any event, Dust-up:  Whatever happened to real words … like disagreement and argument?   Does Dust-up somehow sound better?  Is poison any less deadly if you don’t call it poison? 

Truly, I marvel at this apparent need to create an “insider’s” vocabulary … and the lure it creates to the newbie like it is the “key” to ultimate acceptance.  S that the message?  Which brings me to “Newbie” (which I know is not exclusive to here): If ever a word sounded like 2nd grade, it is that word.  I have no doubt a grade school teacher introduced that word to the Internet world. What amazes me is that it stuck. 

Now I could get that … maybe …if OS was a sorority …or fraternity … or some other sort of social club like Kiwanis and Rotary … Moose and Elks.  That’s what they are; social/civic organizations with charters and officers and rules and meetings … even secret words and handshakes …all that stuff.  And I suppose some of that could be applied to OS.   But it seems that most of the folks I’ve met here came here to write something … not join something.   They put their stuff out there for you and I to peruse, and in addition, we are given a vehicle to comment …if we like.   In fact, we can comment from any point of view; as to writing skill or content or even the smile or name on their Avatar.  We can even be cruel. 

But we don’t have to be. 

And when we are … from my perspective … it is way more of a negative reflection on us than on the writer; and way more of a negative to the site and what it should represent … an open forum …when we cause people to leave … uh … flounce … because we insult their point of view. 

So I hear all of you out there who are critical of the “flouncer;” that they are nothing more than attention seekers, et. al.   But rarely have I read one who said “I want out of here” who hasn’t just had his/her ass handed to them by the some band of wolves. 

And if there is to be a special language … and special rules … and a special dogma (like we only like liberals or some such shit), then let’s publish it; let’s demand the OS acknowledge it; make it the “member’s” credo. Then I could solemnly swear to: 

  • love thy newbies as thyself,
  • never meta beyond my means,
  • Dust up those who dust themselves, and
  • always flounce in Internet-ese.

 BRB ,,, K? IHTFN (Or for those writers who enjoy the written word: Be right back.  OK? I have to flounce now.).  

© Copyright, June, 2010, Rod Emmons Enterprises 

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Comments

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I love your mind...and your humor, even when it is tongue in cheek! I agree with you.
Thank you Rod, I get your point about the social club atmosphere that can get in the way of the actual exchange of ideas. I like Denise Montgomery's description; I wrote the post yesterday hoping to get more information. Since I am fairly new to the blogging world, I wondered if this "f word" was common or something new. You have added to, and expanded the subject in a very thoughtful way.

R~
I might have enjoyed my time at Penn State more had there been a chapter of the I Felta Thi sorority there.
I cannot picture you flouncing in a crinoline skirt! This was very funnny!!
This is one of many reasons that I enjoy your work . . . dry, wry funny underlying a good point!
I totally get this.

Real Good, Rod.
rated with laughs. I like the lingo, though. :)
You made my day...well, I assume you did considering I'm flouncing off of this dang laptop with my coochie in hand so that I may dust up the crumbs from my sons' meta frat party last night which included three sorority sisters all carrying a thesaurus under woven armpits waiting to pounce on the next innocent new bee that may enter their golden nest.. Run on...I just did :-)

~R R R
This is an interesting post but the issue is, for the OS veterans, something of a rehash. Leaving or taking a hiatus is understandable; letting people know is also understandable, so I'd be careful about applying the term "flounce" to anyone who says "I gotta lay off for awhile; see you." However, I suppose leaving with some dramatic declaration that begs for response--yes, I suppose that's flouncing. Or a bid for attention. Or a need for validation; we writers are a fragile bunch. And venues like this seem to attract people who are downright peevish about their opinions or other people's experiences.

But, as Mark Trost pointed out, some of us joined to write...to get published, to be read, to get feedback, and, I suppose, to find expression in our observations and experiences. And, I hope, to enjoy the company of other writers both on and off the front pages. That still continues...and when the sh*t starts flying, I just open my umbrella.
Real men don't eat flounce.

RATED
Just to clarify: Not everyone who "flounces" does so because they've just had their "asses handed to them."

Sometimes people leave because they're simply tired of all the ass handing and shit throwing in the comments sections of some overwise delightful posts.

I wish that those with greivances would limit themselves to snarking at each other in PM's (private messages) and leave those of us that are here for the simple joy of reading, writing, and interacting with other readers and writers in peace.

As for the OS slang, I find it charming......
Hey Rod,

WTF is "OS"?
This is well-expressed and why I really, really like you.
i dunno, dude. i think i remember a coupla male flouncers a while ago ... but i'm not arguing, i'm not, i'm not! just funnin'.

i'm so glad when you post something, and it's been a while. this is vintage rod emmons, and so good. how's the eye, pirate? arggggh!
I find many excellent writers on OS, much better than I. Keeps me humble. Keeps me writing. As for the draama? I take the blue pills for that.
Oh, how your mind works. I get this, never was a sorority girl except for Tau Nu Beta (Tuesday Night Buzz Club.) rrr
I was in a coed fraternity. Alpha Delta Phi.
Love this, love you. I really wish the term "newbies" could be retired to a gated community in Florida, but not near you!LYMI. (Love You, Mean It).
This is really interesting. You're right that we've accumulated an insiders' vocabulary. It happened so gradually I hardly noticed! Now I think we're all stuck in the matrix, though, so there's no getting out.
To all of you: Up Yours!

Just kidding.

Re. Inside lingo: When I met my late wife, Karen, she was an Orthodonic Assisitant. I was serving on a public body (and having said that, I can already hear Bill Beck's mind at work). One day we were talking and she was tossing out all sorts of orthodonic stuff ... like bicuspid, lingual, overbite ... wierd stuff ... and I said, "Would you mind talking English?" She looked at me in astonishment, and countered, "Have you ever listened to one of your meetings? The crap you throw out ... like DRI, Comp. Plan, Impact Statement, LPC, etc." Nobody has a clue as to what you people are discussing. And she was right. But what I only then came to understand was, in our effort to engage others in dialog, we in fact left them feeling excluded. Sometimes substitute words or abbreviations are needed; more often, they are not. I consider most of it bullshit ... just like the secret handshake we have in my fraternity ... utter and complete Bullshit.
Sorry I couldn't get back to your comments until today; had to work ... for a living.

But to Buff ... thanks, hon. I love your mind, too ... and the rest of you as well ... and I'd love to stick my tongue in your cheek. xoxox

Joy ... I used your post as a vehicle.largely because you asked the typical newcomer (or as we OSers prefer, Newbie) question, but even moreso because I have wanted to write a post like this for a long time ... and your piece helped set the plate. Thanks!

Smithery ... Obviously "Happy Valley" is therefore mythical.

Poppi ... You're right. Crinoline is not for me. But what can you picture me flouncing in ... and for God's sake, where do you all do your flouncing, living on that iceberg?

Owl ... Whooo? Me?

Mark ... Good points; and there *are* many, many good writers here ... and even some of *them* rant. Etc. Etc. However, my piece was about the insider language and what I feel about it.

As to who writes here ... most sites I've visited, writers tend to segregate, mostly of their own volition. It seems that writers of certain genre tend to flock together ... fiction to fiction, poets to poets, etc. Here, it seems more like alphabet soup ... and there is a lot more social commentary ... which I like in its own way, but which tends to generate responses that are much more passionate ... even inflamatory ... and which for some writers is unexpected.

At OS responses can seem much more personal ... as if they are at your front door, and may often come with insults attached. I believe that for some, that is hard food to swallow ... like the young woman who felt her (Catholic) church was being attacked ... and they are not equipped for that. Some defend doing that. I find it rude and unnecessary. One cna easily disagree without being mean spirited, and as I said in my post, it speaks poorly of thoise who do it, not who they do it to. But that's just me. Some people find being vitriolic a social skill.
D Art ... glad you liked it; glad you stopped by. I enjoy your work.

Bonnie ... not to knit pick, but you said, "Some mem wear Boas." That should read, Some *males* wear boas. Men wear Levis ... (slim cut, size 34-32 ... just say'n). ;o)

Sweetfeet ... You like the lingo? Well, your supposed to, sis.

TME ... Woven armpits conjures up pictures even I won't write about. But what's a coochie ... and would I want one in my hand, too?

Nikki ... Thanks for your input. It stands on its own. However, let me offer one observation: To me, saying *We* writers are a fragile bunch is like saying, "We athletes are big bunch; we philosophers are a Greek bunch; we critics are a sinister bunch." No one size fits all. In fact, I have among my friends a couple of pretty successful writers ... actually, authors ... who are a zillion miles from fragile. But they are published by actual publishers ... not self ... and promoted ... and do book tours and all that writer stuff; even show up on best seller lists. Believe me, they are far from fragile, and spend way more time hanging with street urchins than other writers.

One of them (who I invited to "tour" here, and who I guided to a couple of the more famous "dust-ups") in describing what he read, used the word, pretentious. But I don't think he was applying that to ALL of us.

Littlewillie ... you are so right; real men don't eat flounce. It smells way too much like Chiche. (I think it's chiche.)

Ginny ... Your comments are Correcto Mundo and should be included in ANY post written on the subjects of flounce, dust-ups, rants, raves and all other events of a similar nature but as yet un-named. And you prove my point when you say you find the lingo charming ... sorority stuff (he adds, giving her the secret wink)!

Bill Beck ... What the fuck is WTF? FYI: OS means fine tobacco.

Scarlett ... Just as long as you *really, really* like me, I will write anything you want me to say.
Hiya, femme ... The eye is supposedly healing OK, but I have no way of knowing except what the doc says; won't know until Sep, Oct or Nov. But, hey, I still have it. That's worth something. And you're right ... occasionally there have been a couple of frat boys in pissing contests. But this wasn't about that, but rahter the (as one person put it) the lingo ... the secret OS language that all the New COMERS have to learn to be a playa. Now to me, that is sorority row ... but then again I was never in one, only the houses.

Chirstine B ... anyone who has a typewriter as her symbol (avatar) is OK by me. And you are right ... lotsa excellence here. We should welcome them all, but also maybe the not-so-excellent, too. Huh? The OS door does say, OPEN, doesn't it?

Bea ... Damn, Bea, those are real Greek letters! Was Tau Nu Beta co-ed? I'd have loved to seen you on Tuesday nights ... but not Wednesday mornings.

aim ... dear, you ... a real co-ed frat. (But are you sure, or did some guy give you that co-ed Sh*t just to get you in his room) ( I'm too old now to pull that stunt, but in a couple more years I may pass that one along to my grandsons ... "Hey Brantley; Garrett ... try this!"). You, dear, are just way to cute for words.

Lainey ... we are never stuck. Watch this: Newbie = Newcomer (eight letters instead of six); Dust-up = disagreement - or if you really think that saving letters will help save the planet - debate; meta = rant (otherwise it means "river in Columbia"); flounce = leave ... less letters!

Question: Did you ever see those people who you knew were *trying* to be cool just to be cool ... I mean that was their goal, kinda like *Valley Girls* ... in an effort to set themselves apart, not in an independent way, but in a superior way. did you/ In their efforts, it was all about the way they walked, they way they talked, the way they stood, even the way they chewed their obligatory) gum. They worked at it. It was the essence of their substance, nothing more.

And they were cool! Except only to them. To everyone else they were just phony. Did you ever see those people?
Flouncing is best done at 66* N while wearing a long wool scarf to throw over your shoulder, as you run out the room wailing "Nobody understands me, I'm running away from home" to which Dad would say, "Fine, you can runaway to Greenland, but first leave all those winter coats and things I paid for" You then reply with "See you don't care even if I freeeeeze to death" Then you go in your room and play the same record 32 times in a row, until everyone gives up and you get your way, you get to stay out an hour past curfew to hang out with your friends in the cold and dark. That's a true winter flounce! A completely idiotic 15 year old's flounce.
WTF is a fraternity?
Bill B. ... It's a sorority with urinals in the restroom.

Bonnie ... Vally girls, shmally girls ... it is about pretentiousness; that somehow someone feels compelled to portend superiority. Being superior at anything is NOT something someone can claim; it is earned by deed and awarded via admiration. ~Saying it don't make it so~

Love ya and feel sorry for ya having to *actually* see old Valley Girls. I thought they were a myth.
A fraternity is a lexicon of jargon with humans as the words.
Guys do flounce, at least here on OS. (Tinkerertink anyone?) But to dust-up: Why not kerfuffle?