All the angelic Chrissie Lamar had to do was glance in my general direction, and I'd become a short-circuited, gangly mess of geekness that would have made Napoleon Dynamite look like Warren Beatty.

I shudder to think of what would have happened if she had actually spoken to me, but… Read full post »

Are you as fond as I am of reading an interesting, compelling, controversial, or idiotic post, then thinking up the perfect remark, only to find that the post has been closed to comments?

What the fuck is that all about?

Isn't this a forum where we post our thoughts, exchange comments,… Read full post »

I freely admit that I have the attention span of a gnat, and that I'm already getting bored with Barack Obama.  I'm still glad that I voted for him, I suppose, but the thrill of "change that I can believe in," has definitely waned.

Obama has Herculean tasks ahead of… Read full post »

Abas Hussein Abdirahman, 33, was stoned to death in his home town of Merka, Somalia, for the crime of adultery.  His pregnant girlfriend's life was spared, until she gives birth to her baby, whereupon she will be murdered in the same fashion.

These kinds of tragic stories are not new,… Read full post »

Joe Flanagan, who I don't know and don't care to know, recently called me a "little Marxist puke," a "POS," and a "pee brain."

Mr. Flanagan obviously doesn't know me.

First of all, "Duck Soup" is the only Groucho Marx  movie that I've ever seen, so I'm hardly what you'd… Read full post »

Yesterday, one year after the election of Barack Obama, Republicans won the governorships in Virginia and New Jersey.  Many on the right view this is a repudiation of President Obama and his policies, and they may very well be correct. 

But Tuesday's elections were also a repudiation of th… Read full post »

Gay marriage, like many important social issues of the day, has true believers on both sides, and they usually aren't very open to compromising their values.  Both sides hunker down, nobody gives an inch, and the issue remains unsettled for years or decades to come.

An old saying regarding negot… Read full post »

I've come up with a very solid business idea, but I'm going to need a lot of creative help to bring it to fruition. If this idea takes off the way I think it will, we will all stand to make a lot of money.

The concept is painfully simple, so… Read full post »

Ayman Al-Sharif just can't catch a break.

Once again the CIA rankings of the top thirty Al Qaeda leaders was published, and Al-Sharif's name was nowhere to be found.

"I don't know what I have to do to get their attention.  I bomb stuff pretty good.  I've killed a ton… Read full post »

Colorado authorities announced today that the Falcon Henne runaway balloon episode was a hoax aimed at landing the family a reality TV show.

However, what the authorities didn't say was that the blame for this hoax rests squarely on the Marxist shoulders of President Barack Obama.

Since the election… Read full post »

Hi, my name is Roger and sometimes I think that I might drink just a tad bit too much, but it's not really a drinking problem per se, not anything like my dead Uncle Joe's drinking problem for example. Now that guy had a drinking problem. He chugged whisky directly out… Read full post »

Basking in the glow of the United States' unsuccessful bid for the 2016 Olympic games, Glenn Beck and his producer met furtively to plot their next opportunity to joyously celebrate another American/Barack Obama failure.

After discussing Afghanistan, health care, and A.C.O.R.N., over bowls of Cap'n C… Read full post »

To those of you that I've chastised for wanting President Obama to fail, I have a confession:  I wanted President George W. Bush to fail. I wanted him to fall flat on his smug face. I wanted every idea that he touted to be a miserable failure, even if that failure affected me pers… Read full post »

I love spinach salad but I'm not so sure how I feel about the Mexican ingrates that make that salad possible.

Spinach salad is a simple, delicious, and nutritious dish that I put together with walnuts, olive oil, balsamic vinegar, and strawberries. 

The spinach come… Read full post »

In 2004, a few months after my 50th birthday, I was diagnosed with throat cancer, or more specifically, Stage I, squamous cell carcinoma. In the world of cancer I was one of the lucky ones.  From the beginning of my diagnosis and treatment, I was told that I had a 95% ch… Read full post »

On the morning of 9/11/2001, I watched TV, stunned, saddened, outraged, and terrified.  Whoever did this must die. That's all I could think about. I wanted revenge.

Eight years after the attacks of 9/11, and the subsequent war on terror, it's clear that we, for the most part, … Read full post »

Even a blind squirrel finds an acorn once in awhile. 

That's how disheartened GOP politicians must have felt when they watched their newest superstar, Congressman Joe Wilson of South Carolina, suddenly emerge during President Obama's address to Congress and the nation.… Read full post »

Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini.  The bartender asks, "olive or twist."  

I love a good joke.  That one, courtesy of my friend Roger Benford, happens to be a great joke. I like to smile and laugh, and as long as I can do that, I want to be aliv… Read full post »

Glenn Beck recently hired me to sift through President Obama's upcoming address to the nation's school children, to determine if it's filled with sinister code words and phrases.

I've kept this quiet until now, but in addition to working as a floor covering contractor, I… Read full post »

On Tuesday, September 8, President Obama will deliver a message of encouragement to America's students.  Many parents on the right, believing that this is a socialist/fascist recruiting session, are threatening to keep their kids out of school for the day.

When George W. Bush was… Read full post »

When Sarah Palin famously posted the following on her Facebook page,  she partially described a system that is already in place.

"The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama’s “death panel&rdq… Read full post »

President Barack Obama announced today that he has reached an agreement with Senate Republicans, paving the way for passage of his coveted G.O.D. (Grandma Oughta Die) program.

In a remarkable turn of events, all forty GOP Senators signed onto Mr. Obama’s controversial plan to ki… Read full post »

It occured to me this morning that nobody ever talks about astrology. 

I can't remember the last time anyone asked me what my sign was. I also can't remember the last time I heard anyone say, "Oh, he's a Cancer... no wonder he was running a dog fighting ring."

I've always thought… Read full post »

To:  Whom It May Concern

From:  Roger Fallihee

Re:  Death Panel job opening

I am very much interested, and uniquely qualified, to serve on one of the death panels that former Governor and future President Sarah Palin recently discussed.

Of course, salary, commute (can I perhaps se… Read full post »