President Barack Obama, hoping for a legislative victory that might jump-start his stalled domestic agenda, was stunned to learn that the Senate failed to pass his "Ice Cream Is Good," non-binding resolution. 

The final vote was 58 No, 42 Yea, with seventeen Democrats joining all forty-one Republicans in casting "no" votes.

The seemingly slam-dunk legislation ran into an unexpected perfect storm of special interest demands, costly amendments, and aggressive pushback from well-heeled cake and pie lobbyists.

Obama Loses Sen. Franken's Vote Over "Soy Parity" Issues.

Senator Al Franken, D-Minn, a normally reliable Obama supporter, decided to vote against the bill when President Obama refused to equate soy-based frozen dairy desserts with real ice cream.

Franken stated, "Soybean production is an important industry in Minnesota and it's hard for our farmers to compete with ice cream when they are stuck with stupid-ass names like "Tofutti Cuties" and "Soylicious."  If the President would have simply supported an amendment giving full parity to soy products, which by the way are healthier and less fattening than dairy products, he would have easily had my vote." 

Cake and Pie Lobbyists Up In Arms.

Several "K Street" lobbyists, representing firms such as Sara Lee, Marie Callender, and the powerful "Snack Food and Wholesale Bakery" trade group, objected strenously to the bill, claiming that Mr. Obama's singling out of ice cream to the detriment of other popular, non-frozen dessert treats, was just another example of his corrupt style of governing.

"Why doesn't Barack Hussien Obama just admit that when you say "American as apple pie,"  it does not apply to him, " said one powerful, fat white guy.  "In the U.S. of A. ice cream is something you put on top of pie or cake.  Ice cream is a weak, empty, stand-alone dessert just like he is a weak, empty, stand-alone president."

Sarah Palin Weighs In.

Former Governor and future President Sarah Palin was asked her opinion of the resolution and replied, "Yeah sure, of course ice cream can be good, as pies and cakes are too sometimes, not to mention Todd's favorite, the chocolate chip cookie, but in the end it all comes down to jobs, and the environment, and whether the President's socialist agenda will provide the lack of regulation necessary for all of the dessert manufacturers to compete with the Chinamen and Mexicans and other foreigners that are heck-bent on making sure that we perish as a country, and as a provider of tasty treats, I might add, praise God."

John McCain:  "Obama Doesn't Go Far Enough."

Senator John McCain delivered a fiery, impassioned speech on the floor of the Senate, decrying President Obama's resolution as "too little, too late."

The red-faced Senator nearly exploded with rage as he ridiculed the nascent President.  "My friends, ice cream is good?  Merely good?  No my friends, ice cream is great, and if Barack Obama had ever actually tried a bowl of cinnamon swirl or mint chocolate chip, he'd too know that it's great.  My friends, he weighs 120 pounds so I don't think many bites of this wonderful American dessert have touched his lips.  America is a great country and ice cream is a great treat, not a good treat, and I personally like the President very much." 

Obama To Regroup.

In the aftermath of this embarrassing defeat the President is considering a less controversial bill that would cut off hot lunches to needy children if their parents or grandparents ever attended a Grateful Dead concert.