Daddy Knocked Me Up (Lemons) But It's a Girl (Lemonade)
Nevada Republican Senate candidate Sharron Angle is about to deliver something that would have been unthinkable a few weeks ago: The reelection of Harry Reid.
Mrs. Angle believes that all abortions, regardless of circumstances, should be illegal. In a radio interview, reported on by The Huffington Post, Angle stated that a young girl raped by her father should understand that "two wrongs don't make a right." Angle also said, "Much good can come from a horrific situation like that. Lemons can be made into lemonade."
If Sharron Angle wrote an advice column it might look something like this:
Dear Future Senator Sharron Angle,
I need your help.
My daddy's been raping me since I was eight. He rapes my sister too. He also beats the crap out of us at least once a week just to make sure that we don't turn him into the cops.
He always says he's sorry and when he's not in jail or rehab he shares his meth, weed, and Ginger Brandy with us... which is pretty cool. I don't know too many dads that would do that.
I just found out that I'm pregnant and since daddy is the only one who rapes me, I know that he's the father. I have a few questions.
1) How can he be both my dad and the dad of my baby? Is that even legal?
2) My friend told me there's some kind of genetic thingy that could make my baby retarded or something. Is that true?
3) Do you think that it's okay if I get an abortion... just this once? I promise that I won't have sex with anyone else until I'm married (unless daddy keeps on raping me).
Confused in Reno
Dear Confused in Reno,
First of all, two wrongs don't make a right.
Granted, your dad shouldn't be violating you or your sister. I suspect that Jesus is not very close to his heart and that makes me sad. Have you asked your dad to give his heart to Jesus? Have you told him that you don't appreciate his unwanted advances? Are you making sure that you don't dress provocatively around him? You know, men have urges that are sometimes hard for them to control.
I'm sorry but I can't support the idea of you murdering your unborn child, even if she was conceived by your sociopathic, drug-addicted, and violent father (So you say).
God has a plan for all of us. Yes there is a chance that your baby might have birth defects but there's also a chance that she'll be just fine. She might even grow up smart enough to run for the United States Senate.
You, like many other teens in this country, need to quit being so selfish and start to consider the needs of others, including your unwanted unborn child. It's about time that your "all about me" generation grows the heck up.
There are several government programs that can provide financial assistance to you, but, ironically, if I'm elected I will do everything in my power to defund those Marxist, socialist programs. (So ya better hurry).
My advice to you is to give your dad a chance to prove himself. He just may surprise you and become the best dang daddy/grandpa in Nevada.
There's an old saying that you need to embrace with all your heart: "When God gives you lemons make lemonade."
You've got the lemons. Make some lemonade!
I tried to make lemonade but their ain't no sugar in this house.
Also, since you seem to be closer to God than I am, could you please tell him that I want my plan changed?
If God's plan is for me to keep getting raped by daddy I either need a new plan or a new God.
Confused in Reno.
There you go again with this "me, me, me" stuff. What is it with you kids today? I've had hard times in my life too and you don't hear me complaining about it.
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If Harry Reid can't beat this woman the Democrats are screwed.