Michelle Obama just can’t catch a break.

It turns out that the First Lady’s “Let’s Move” initiative, aimed at getting young people to improve their health, may be contributing to serious injuries and premature deaths. 

From Mark Weaver at 630 WMAL AM,  Washington DC:

"Instead of “Let’s Move,” perhaps the First Lady should have called her youth exercise program the “Let’s Move Out of the Way” campaign: “The Governors Highway Safety Association says pedestrian deaths increased in the first half of 2010 and the First Lady’s program to get Americans to be more active could be partly responsible. Governors Highway Safety Administration spokesman Jonathan Adkins told 630 WMAL that Michelle Obama is ‘trying to get us to walk to work and exercise a little bit more.  While that’s good, it also increases our exposure to risk.’”

Discouraged by the outcry from conservatives like Mr. Weaver, Mrs. Obama planned on launching a new cause; one that she had hoped would be embraced by both normal, intelligent people and right-wing crackpots.

After much consideration and internal debate, Mrs. Obama decided to announce an initiative aimed at reducing the number of arson fires set throughout the United States.

The First Lady was under the mistaken impression that even the "Hate Everything Obama" crowd would not be able to find fault with this endeavor.

However, as word of the “AIM" (Arson Is Mean) initiative began to leak out, Mrs. Obama's hopes for finally finding a non-divisive initiative that she could get behind were once again dashed.  Reactions on the right were fast and furious.

Sarah Palin:

"First, Michelle O'Bummer tells us that we can't have Smores.  Has anyone looked at her big ol' butt lately?  Like they say, 'those that live in grass houses shouldn't get stoned.'"  Anyhoo, I want to know which lame government bureaucrat is going to decide what's arson and what's a legitimate way to solve a dispute with an unruly former business partner, for instance, even though that's never happened to me or Todd, but it could have if God's will had been such as to have something like that happen, either to me or Todd, or God forbid Bristol."

Sean Hannity: 

"Folks, for the first time in this great nation’s history we have an administration that hates firefighters.  Apparently the anointed one's wife, First Lady Michelle Obama, doesn't believe that our heroic firefighters can perform their duties without interference from the socialists in DC.  Let's bring in Fox News contributor, Newt Gingrich.

Hannity:  Mr. Speaker, am I wrong about this?

Gingrich:  Frankly Sean, you didn't go far enough.  For the first lady of the United States to belittle the efforts of firefighters and their ability to combat arson, is a shameful attack on the hard working men and women who put their lives on the line every day.

Hannity:  And by the way Newt, who are the biggest arsonists in U.S. history?  The 9/11 attackers, and I don't see Eric Holder charging any of them with arson.

Gingrich:  Sean, quite frankly there is no arson problem in this country just like there isn’t a problem with obesity.  This is just another case where Michelle Obama is trying in vain to keep the spotlight away from the breathtaking failures of her Marxist, socialist, husband who is, quite frankly, the worst President in history."

Glenn Beck: 

"Hello America.  Did you hear about Michelle Obama's sudden interest in curbing arson?  Really Michelle?  And how many members of the Muslim Brotherhood have been charged with arson?  I’ll tell you.  None.  They have set all of Europe on fire, you know.  Oh you don’t know?  That’s because I’m the only one talking about it.  Arson is a distraction that the Obama regime will use to punish political enemies?  They will pretend to take a hard line against arson while they set the country on fire.  Remember, they only want you to watch what the right hand is doing.  If my neighbor’s garage bursts into flames will they come for me?  Yes they will.  If William Ayers' neighbor suffers the same fate will he be charged?  Somehow I doubt it.  And speaking of William Ayers, am I the only one reporting on what Michelle actually means when she says ‘arson?’”

Beck walks over to his chalkboard, and flips it over to reveal the names:

William Ayers

Wade Rathke

Andy Stern

Barack Obama

Marxists

"William Ayers, Wade Rathke, Andy Stern, Barack Obama, and Marxists... A-R-S-O-M.  What does that spell?  That's right America... ARSON."

I’m not saying that Michelle Obama is going to set your garage on fire. I’m saying that I can’t prove that she won’t.  So when your house bursts into flames, regardless of who lights the match, don't forget to protect your Goldline Coins, 1-866-GOLDLINE, in your fire resistant Liberty Safe, 1-800-247-5625, or go to Liberty Safe .com, click the promo button, and type in ‘Glenn.’”

In the face of the withering attacks, Mrs. Obama scrapped the anti-arson campaign and was said to be considering an effort to promote the dangers of eating rancid, raw chicken and drinking curdled milk.  But that idea got shelved when she found out that Rush Limbaugh believes that government control of dysentery and diarrhea might eventually lead to regulating the crap that comes out of his mouth.

Maybe some on the right would be happy if Mrs. Obama would simply keep her mouth shut and take a shift at the White House laundry room.  After all, in more ways than one, that's where they think she belongs.