Mitt Romney actually has a compelling personal story that on the surface seems tailor-made for the standoffish, dickish presidential candidate, especially considering that his resume is very thin when it comes to warm, fuzzy, endearing, non-dickish stories. 

Unfortunately for Romney this eve… Read full post »

Quick question (no Googling):  What comes after "trillion?"

Okay, I had to use Google to get the answer.  I thought it would be “gazillion," or perhaps "bazillion," or maybe even "shit-ton."  I was wrong.

The answer:  Quadrillion.

Yes, quadrillion is an actual number.&n… Read full post »

Glenn Beck's website, "The Blaze," featured an article titled "Can You Pick Out the Flag Gaffe on Obama's New 'Julia Site?' We Did."

The article points out that the proper way to display the American Flag when it flanks a podium is for it to be on the… Read full post »

Mitt Romney is loath to discuss his Mormon faith for one very simple reason:  He knows that the more people learn about his secretive and mysterious religion, the less inclined they’ll be to entrust him with the security, safety, and well-being of America and Americans.  

For… Read full post »

Dick Clark, the iconic host of American Bandstand died today at age 82.  As people rightfully applaud him for his huge contribution to American pop culture, it should also be noted that Dick Clark was a first-class prick to do business with.  How do I know this?  He stiffed me for… Read full post »

Today was a banner day for Mitt Romney's presidential hopes as he won the highly coveted endorsement of mediocre rocker Ted Nugent.  Romney jumped on the Nugent bandwagon after he was bitterly disappointed when devoted Libertarian Charles Manson bailed on him and went with Ron Paul.

After countless examples of being out-hardballed by the GOP, the Democrats haven't learned a thing.

What's become known mostly as "the Blunt Amendment," a bill that would allow employers to opt out of any medical procedure that they personally object to on moral or religious grounds, went down to def… Read full post »

Up until very recently Gene Sykes, one of Goldman Sachs' top mergers and acquisitions bankers, was living the good life.  Imagine the American Dream buzzed on a cocktail of Almus Beluga cavair, 1865 Chateau Lafite and Primobolan and you have Gene Sykes' life. 

Now I'm not 100 percent sure… Read full post »

To say that Mitt Romney is a flip-flopper is a little like saying that Charlize Theron is a reasonably attractive woman. 

Most of Romney's "flipiousity" has been focused on health care, abortion rights, tax increases and whether or not he had a man-crush on Ronald Reagan.  Very little atte… Read full post »

Newt Gingrich is under a barrage of attacks from conservative leaders who crap their pants at the thought of the narcissistic former Speaker becoming the 45th President of the United States.

The most recent attacks focus on the fact that Gingrich wasn't the loyal Reaganite that he presents… Read full post »

Senator Rand Paul (R-KY) refused to submit to a TSA full-body pat-down after setting off an alarm at Nashville Airport security.  Senator Paul's unwillingness to be touched "down there" by another man can only mean one of two things. 

Either:

1)  The diminutive Rand Paul has a small d… Read full post »

In a 1994 Senate debate with Ted Kennedy, Mitt Romney strongly touted his credentials as a man dedicated to helping women and minorities shatter the glass ceiling.  But, as is often the case with Mr. Romney, the rhetoric doesn't match the results.

Every night at 8:00pm, after Mitt Romney finishes his evening cup of Postum and changes into his Temple Garment, he kneels down and says his nighty-night prayers.

First he gives thanks that he wasn't born in Kenya and then, with more than a hint of desperation in his voice,… Read full post »

If Callista Gingrich ever has health problems that are more serious than the occasional dose of the clap that she gets from her philandering husband Newt, she’d better visit both a doctor and a divorce lawyer.

By now everyone… Read full post »

Newt Gingrich does not want to be the 45th President of the United States.

He wants to raise his profile, sell more books, add to his already substantial client base, and make piles of money.  But he does not want to be the leader of the free world.  Why?  Because he's… Read full post »

Are all people that smoke cigarettes dumb?  No.  Are all non-smokers smart?  No.  But is smoking a dumb habit?  Yes.  Unless you think that a habit that costs $2,500 a year and shortens your life by ten to fifteen years is a good thing, I think we can all agree that… Read full post »

This is a slight update and repost of an April, 2010 Open Salon piece.

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The time may have finally arrived for God to at least start thinking about taking an early retirement.

When Newt Gingrich was asked if he would seek the… Read full post »

It's very possible that Herman Cain is innocent of charges that he sexually harassed two employees when he was running the National Restaurant Association, but part of his statement seems nearly impossible to believe.

"If the Restaurant Association did a settlement, I wasn't even aware of it, and I… Read full post »

Glenn Beck, the former FOX TV host, appeared on the October 26, 2011 broadcast of NBC's Today Show to plug his new book titled "The Snow Angel."

During the emotional interview with Today host Kathy Lee Gifford, Beck, without realizing it, revealed that he lied about the… Read full post »

The Chinese government announced the death of Steve Jobs with an exact copy of the the statement that Apple released, with the exception of one word.

Apple's statement in part read:

"We are deeply saddened to announce that Steve Jobs passed away today. Steve's brilliance, passion and energy were the… Read full post »

While giving a campaign speech in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, GOP presidential hopeful Michele Bachmann made an interesting comment on the possible relationship between Cuba and Hezbollah.

From Raw Story:

“There is (sic) reports that have come out that Cuba has been working with another terrorist orga… Read full post »

When I listen to the parade of right wing pundits and politicians refer, in lockstep, to President Obama's proposed tax increase as "class warfare," I'm left with one thought:  Go fuck yourself.

The GOP is very skilled at the art of class warfare, whether it be economic class, religious class, s… Read full post »

During the most recent GOP Joint Campaign Appearance (incorrectly referred to as a debate) Michelle Bachmann intimated that Texas Governor Rick Perry may have signed an executive order that mandated HPV vaccinations, as a payback for campaign contributions.

From the Los Angeles Times:

Bachmann noted… Read full post »

One of the major factors that has propelled Texas Governor Rick Perry to the top of the GOP Presidential polls is that his state has created more jobs in the last two years than the rest of the country combined... and all you have to do is listen to him talk… Read full post »

Freshly out of law school in 1988, Michele Bachmann went to work as a tax attorney for the IRS.  When she was hired to prosecute delinquent taxpayers she was required to take the following oath:

I, Michele Bachmann, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the… Read full post »