Today I found my self caught behind three funeral precessions at different times in the day . I thought that to be a little freaky [A high death day I guess ] I never know what to do when I'm in one . Do you pass ? Do you stay behind them. It's like you kind of get caught in them like a dragnet and once your there your fucked. It's funny you'll see them from afar and almost kill some one to avoid them , run Red lights cut people off. I always feel guilty passing them buy, but hey I figure the dead guy or girl isn't going to mind so I passed them .

What would of been cool is if  I passed the hearse and the dead guy was looking out the widow giving me the finger, 

Any way

I said to my self man this is weird ,is this an omen or something? No thats stupid. Needless to say I did find myself driving like a 90 year old women home from work  , just to be on the safe side.

Speaking of 90 year old women, this is a great way to start your day you enter a major interstate, your cruising, you find your self behind a semi , you go to pass the semi in the passing lane where you  find yourself looking at a car going 45 miles hour, you almost literally shit your pants. You hit the brakes double back then pass the semi from the slow lane just to get a glimpse of what a real live moron actually looks like behind the wheel of a car. You approach the car and you see two old ladies both of them about 197 years who looked like they could of fought in the Revolutionary War.They could barley see over the wheel. I couldn't figure out who was driving who to the morgue.

I didn't scream or get mad, I took the high road,

I cut them off and ran them off the road leaving them in a flaming molten pile of burning Death.

I figured it was the best thing to do to prevent any other motorist from getting hurt , and on the good Samaritan tip probably saved them some time getting to the morgue.

Just kidding about the molten death running off the road part.

In an unrelated subject .

You ever come across these guys wearing blue tooth head sets having a full blown conversation with themselves and staring directly at you while there doing it. That happened to me today . This guy had his head turned in a way the I couldn't  see the head set and he's looking right at me telling me "Do you have the numbers? Do you what my numbers ? Where Are the numbers? I was thinking to myself, what numbers?. I have no numbers, and who the hell are you by the way ? I think I have some of those magnetic ones somwhere if you want them. I'll drive home and get em, then again you can get those at Toys R us, Gimmie a Break man!

This guy was one of those 2nd tear managers who take there job way to seriously. You'll find them at Wall Greens or Wall Mart usually bossing around some innocent teenager. You no them, for some reason they think that the fate of the planet all depends on them stocking the new shipment of tampons up all correctly in isle 12, it's like all of a sudden there Captain Kirk running the Starship Enterprise. I hate those guys. 

Another neat thing I've been doing lately while I'm driving is waving to complete strangers just to see if they wave back. I remember when I moved to the South for awhile people would just wave at you for no reason, I found this strange. People in N.J. don't do that, they look at that as a threat like "who the fuck are you" but in the south it's  just a friendly gesture. So it's fun I'll drive buy and wave, I usually get a puzzled look or two and sometimes even a wave.

I wonder who they think I am?