Since Mr. Cheney is so adiment about advanced Interrogation. I think he should do his patriotic duty and test some of these neat ones out for himself.
1. Catapult him off the Empire State building strait into a gigantic pile of Dog-shit.
Just to get the ball rolling
2. Lock him in a five by five room,
then blast Unskinny Bop from poison for 72 hours strait.
We'll call this (Rocked and Puked)
3. Feed Mr. Cheney Taco bell for a week,
then make him ingest a box of Ex-lax, then tie him to a roller coaster for 24 hours.
This will be called( Roller shiting )
4. Give Mr, Cheney 3 hits of acid, dress him up like the Grand Wizard of the Clu Klux Klan
then drop him off in the middle of Newark N.J. at 12:00 midnight with a water pistol.
Hood must be attacged to electric shock sensors if removed
We'll call this one (Runnng for your life)
5. Get 5 hookers not to shower for a month,
then tie Mr. Cheney to a board and let the hookers take turns sitting on his face for 10 seconds each .
We'll call this one( Pussy Boarding )
6. Lock him in a 10 by 10 foot bathroom with 10 toilets in it.
Then invite the Pro Junk food Steroid users of America and and few circus Elephants to blast out all ten toilets at once.
Then seal the door shut for 5 hours.
I know they can't all fit at the same time , just go with it
We'll call this one (Gas Blasting)
7. Place him in a pit with pink speedoes on and let a gang of 12 year olds pelt him with water balloons wiffel balls and high powered water pistols till he slowly loses his mind.
This will be called (Water balooning)
8. Give him 2 spanish flies a bowl of oysters and 3 viagras then lock him in a room with a female Orangoutang in heat.
We'll call this one (Boner Breaking)
9. Administer Anastasia place him in a coffin wait till he wakes up clawing at the coffin door then quickly open it and say
"Just Kidding"
We'll call this (The Death Wake Shuffel )
This can also be a new dance if anyone feels like creating it.
10. Adminster Wedgeies purple nurples and wet willies till he screams for sweet mercy.
This will be called ( Being Nurpled)
11. Wrap him up in 100 pounds of buble wrap, then throw him off a cliff.
This will be called (Pop Rocked)
12. Strap him in the back seat of a convertable with a snorkle and a mask,
then run him threw a car wash.
This will be called (Goon Drenching )
13 . Administer Laghing gas. Dress him up in a devil coustume , then air lift him to the roof of the Vatican.
This one is not really an Advanced Interagation.
I would just love to see it on the news.
14. light the bleachers of a rodio on fire,
then tie him to a bull hoped up on PCP .
This will be called (Bull Balling )
15. Have Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfield fight in a Glatiatore match to the death in front of teenage orphans of the Iraq war.
This speaks for itself.
THE END
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Kerry Lauerman
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Comments
pile of Dog-shit."
What do you have against dog shit?
"2. Lock him in a five by five room, then blast Unskinny Bop from poison for 72 hours strait."
I think the "Star Spangled Banner" would be more appropriate.
"3. Feed Mr. Cheney Taco bell for a week, then make him ingest a box of Ex-lax, then tie him to a roller coaster for 24 hours."
Why ruin a good roller coaster? Why don't we just stuff a cork up his ass and THEN feed him taco bell for a week? Probably won't even need the Ex-lax.
"4. Give Mr, Cheney 3 hits of acid, dress him up like the Grand Wizard of the Clu Klux Klan then drop him off in the middle of Newark N.J. at 12:00 midnight with a water pistol."
No need for the acid. He's already loony.
"5. Get 5 hookers not to shower for a month, then tie Mr. Cheney to a board and let the hookers take turns sitting on his face for 10 seconds each . ( Pussy Boarding )"
I'm not sure it would be all that effective. There's probably a lot of guys who would line up for this one.
But definitely kudos on the name: "Pussy-Boarding"... what a concept ;)
"6. Lock him in a 10 by 10 foot bathroom with 10 toilets in it. Then invite the Pro Junk food Steroid users of America and and few circus Elephants to blast out all ten toilets at once. Then seal the door shut for 5 hours."
How is this different than any concert or sporting event?
"7. Place him in a pit with pink speedoes on and let a gang of 12 year olds pelt him with water balloons wiffel balls and high powered water pistols till he slowly loses his mind."
Dick Cheney in pink Speedoes is likely to have a larger effect on the 12-year olds (and anybody else who happens to get a glimpse) than the other way around.
"8. Give him 2 spanish flies a bowl of oysters and 3 viagras then lock him in a room with a female Orangoutang in heat."
Actually I think it would be more effective to give him all that and then just lock him up in a room by himself-- in a straight jacket. All dressed up and nowhere to blow...
"9. Administer anesthesia and place him in a coffin wait till he wakes up clawing at the coffin door then quickly open it and say "Just Kidding""
You mean just check him into any major hospital in the U.S...
"10. Adminster Wedgeies purple nurples and wet willies till he screams for sweet mercy."
No way this would work. Dick Cheney is already the "Purple-Nurple-Meister".
"11. Wrap him up in 100 pounds of buble wrap, then throw him off a cliff."
Why waste all that perfectly good bubble wrap?
"12. Strap him in the back seat of a convertable with a snorkle and a mask, then run him threw a car wash."
What, and ruin a perfectly good convertible? Come-on...
"This will be called (Goon Drenching )"
Dontcha mean "Mr. Good Drench" ??
"13 . Administer Laghing gas. Dress him up in a devil coustume , then air lift him to the roof of the Vatican."
I think folks would probably just confuse it as a commercial for the Catholic church.
"14. light the bleachers of a rodeo on fire, then tie him to a bull
hoped up on PCP."
(No animals were harmed during this interrogation)
"15. Have Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfield fight in a Glatiatore match to the death in front of teenage orphans of the Iraq war."
I could get behind that if they used SPOONS.
Remember what Rush said about the very first photos that emerged from the prison in Baghdad run by American soldiers? That the torture going on was nothing more than "fraternity hazing pranks"? Remember?
So, come on, Dick, George, and Rush! After all, if it's not torture, then what's to worry ?!
On this you and I agree completely, absolutely, unequivocally 100%.
RATED
Little Will: You no, I never thought of that
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