You know what would be a fun thing to do one day .

Sit at a rest stop and watch to see how many people actually run to the bathroom.

Ok maybe it wouldn't be so fun .

I do allot of driving for work and stop at allot of rest stops.

Today I was at one ,we'll resting , and noticed this guy making a bee line to the bathroom. I mean he was almost in a dead sprint.

I said man this guys having a "CODE RED". He tried entering the building through an exit which wasted more time(that always seem to happen when your in that position)  he then ran around to the entrance of the building .If you could see this guy on the ethereal plane he would of had a big flashing EMERGENCY sigh over his head. I felt sorry for the poor bastard, I've been there before.

Now it depends how far along you are in the process, but I know from experience that from the time you stop the car to the time you make it to those toilets (or the "SAFE ZONE") this  could be a very freighting experience.

YOU HAVE TO MAKE QUICK EFFICIENT DECISIONS THERES NO TIME FOR ERROR.

You might try the "Full sprint."

If you try the sprint your pretty confident you can make it with out shaking things up to much, your still in Emergency mode but you've evaluated the situation and don't care how you look, your going for it.

Then there's the "Speed walk", which is a little more discreet.

This usually involves you walking like Frankenstein with your arms and legs strait out to your side.

like I said, it depends on where you are in the process.

The Speed walk could be deceptive.

It could  mean 1: Your not in any danger and can afford too take a little more time getting to your destination.

 2: You could be approaching a "CODE RED"and your trying to hold it all together .

A"Full sprit" at this stage in the game could be risky.

This brings us to the the "CODE RED"

This is total Emergency stasis; STAT, Red phones ringing off the hook.

Your now in critical condition.

At this point you might contemplate not leaving the car at all. It might be better to soil your trousers and keep your dignity

Sadly, I know A hard life decision.

Now one would think the faster one was moving the more urgent the situation would be.

On the contrary

If you happen to see some one walking real slow to a bathroom that person is more than likely a sneeze away from shitting in his pant's.

A dog bark can send this person past the point of no return.

This is a very critical time, one wrong move can spell disaster.

This person must keep themselves in total control and in complete concentration , every move could be there last.

A sprint or a speed walk is out of the question.

A "Code Red" will make a Zen Buddhist out of the most hard core Christen.

You must slow your heart rate down and start to communicate with your bowls.

Repeating this chant helps,  "Please stop ,Oh God, Please Stop, almost there, almost there."

Until you get to that point where you might deem it safe to attempt a "long jump" to the toilet , you basically look like your walking threw quicksand with a two by 8 stuck up your ass.

Dignity is not a concern at this point.

It is at this point I like to run up to them dressed as a Gorilla screaming with a couple of lit Roman Candles in my hands.  J.k.

any way

This guy was in sprint mode and finally made it. Although I have to admit there was a dark part of me that just wanted to run up to him and block every move he made, you no like when you cover a wide receiver in football.

or approach him with a pen and a questioner.

" Excuse me Sir, this will just take a minute."

or get a couple of people with cameras and a microphone to run up and interview him on his way there, like the news.

"Do you think you'll make Sir , how do you feel right now ,your thoughts please, Pleas sir a statement."

It was funny I watched him enter the building and all I could think of was that commercial (got to go, got to go, got to go right now got to go, got to go right now )

He would have been perfect for that commercial.