Here's some shit that's been on my mind and some recent Face book statuses

I think we should update the phrase " You better Go to collage and get an education or you'll be  flipping burgers the rest of your life"

To

"You better go to collage or you'll  become one of those people on the side of the road dressed up like a chicken waving to passing motorist."

AKA "a chicken waver"

In my view this has to be worse than flipping burgers .

What can the interview process be for a job like this.

Do you need experience? 

Is there drug testing?

I would think drugs would be required for a job like this especially LSD. I'm mean I would think one would be in his or her natural element. It sure would help with passing the day along.
I would love to here the employers explaining the job description on your first day.

"Hi... ahh ok to start I'm going to need you to dress in this chicken outfit,  loose every bit of dignity you have,  stand out side and pimp some of our tasty chicken products."
any problems with that ?

hmm.... ya I might have to get back to you on that one. I still have the anonymous animal porn set grip and the circus shit stall cleaning  interviews to go to.

ok  it's not as bad as these but it's pretty close.

Look on the bright side America at least we don't have the fear of barbarous bands of Saxons and Jutes crossing the sea to burn down our homes and rip out our high speed internet connections.

This was a lagitamet fear 1600 years ago for the Roman British people, it's just somthing to think about when you think we have it bad .

 Some guy died from having anal sex with a horse last week need I say more...talk about being Fucked to death

Actually I will say more, this story is true, the thing that got me thinking was that this guy had some kind bestiallity farm going on where men where coming from around the globe to partake in we'll... fucking chickens hoarses whatever else they could get there dicks in.

What got me was that authorities could not press charges on some of the patrons because it's not illigal to have sex with animals in the state of Washington .

Now I'm as libral as the next guy but come on!!!

so you mean to te'll me just for the sake of argument that I could go out run a red light forget to pay a ticket not pay the fine and possibly get jail time,but if i want to go out and bang Mr. ED or better yet let Mr. Ed bang me it's ok....wow What kind of world am I living in,

and that was another wierd thing about this story The guy let the horse fuck him, he was killed from internal injueries, don't horses have cocks  that are like 3 feet long, hence the phrase 'Hung like a horse". Didn't he know this , I mean  where was this guys mind set "hmm I think i'll  let this horse fuck me tonight  with his "horse cock" literaly that happens to be the size of a flag pole , have a good weekend.  I mean wow that's a really strange way to commit suaside if I ever herd of one, I'm at a loss . I guess the moral of this story is  Don't fuck with Horses, or don't let horses fuck you

moving right along   and fast

There's something about Dollar store food that scares the living shit out me.

Am I right

Its like it comes from the island of misfit foods , forgotten lonely downtrodden food warehouses in the deep south that no one wants
especially the meat products   EWWWWW check em out for yourself one day... or don't

Today I saw a guy having a full-blown conversation with himself, he must of been having an argument because when I beeped my horn I startled him and he punched himself in the face.

 you have to kind of think about this for a second, at least I did

 
 I was at a mall recently and a funny thing happened. I was in the bathroom and after I was done taking a piss I went to exit and the the door was locked. It was a strange feeling, It was like time stood still, I was completely baffled. At first I thought I was opening up a closet or something, nope, I said why is somebody trying to lock me in a public mall bathroom, What did do wrong now. So I tried it again noticed there was a lock on it and unlocked it and walked out into mall freedom, It was weird.... guess you had to be there.   True story

After that incident at the the same mall I sat in one of those massage chairs that  made me literly want to share a ciggeratte with it afterwards . I'll tell you one thing these new chairs are getting quite creative. I know for a fact that out of nowhere  some rolling ball type prong thing  went strait  up my ass while at the same time holding my legs down. All I needed was a whip some frosting and a chick in black leather and It was party ... I'm just sayen.

We'll leave that one there

 
 You know what I don't get, these whether people that for some reason feel the obligation to deliver me a sunny weather report all the time
Like they have anything to do with the outcome.

you here it all the time

"I'll try to give you some sun on Wensday Don"... Who are you Merlin. Did I just step into the cock pit of Ming the Mercoloius  space ship.  listen to me Gandhi, I won't be mad if it's rainy on tuesday just try getting the fuckin forecast  right every once in awhile and you'll do your job in my eye's.

and besides that
What's wrong with cloudy days

I need them for my sanity .I could be depressed stress free. I don't have to go outside and  play with the beach ball , or fly a kite, pogo stick down the highway and pretend I'm having fun .

I get to sit inside watch endless amounts of mindless  sit-com reruns , curse my soul for lack of accomplishments in my life, all guilt free.   

Come on cloudy days.

 
We have a super market in New Jersey called Stop n Shop.

I think they should make a grocery store chain called 

Blow n Shop

now here me out

Just think what this would do to keep the majority of males doing the bulk of the food shopping in the household,

giving you some long over due alone time.

I say men we go in there take care of business and then shop till your hearts content.

This would take Hookers off the street and give them some gainful employment in these unsettling economic times, I say a win win in my book . And a positive political platform to run on if do say so
 

You ever try to walk down an esculater going up... not very fun 

I realized today that my brain seems to exist in a perpetul state of being beetween a fried and a scrambled egg.

                                          toot a loo