In her article last week, Salon’s Drew Grant asked the question “Who knew “Predator” could inspire brilliant tunes?”

Answer: ArnoCorps.

But back to that in a minute.

In my opinion, Grant really isn’t asking the right question. I’ll explain.

While she points to the Kaplan brothers’ “Predator: the Musical” and the “Predator Rap” by the Anomolies, both excellent examples of fan tunes, by only asking about “Predator” she’s missing the real internet meme that’s been going on for many years now. “Predator: the Musical” is only the latest in a long line of Schwarzenegger-themed operatic concoctions by the Kaplans, which is probably strange enough. But stranger still, they aren’t the only artists to follow it. Not by a long shot.

ArnoCorps is a San Francisco Bay Area band, now in its 10th year of action hero audio assault, that features incredibly hard hitting songs with titles such as “Predator”, “Terminator”, “Commando” and more. You get the jist.

But if you ask Holzfeuer, lead singer and founding member of the rock and roll rescue team, their work is not merely derivative of recent films by a certain actor turned Governator turned actor again, like other artists who merely follow the Schwarzenegger musical meme. ArnoCorps opus hearkens back to the original tales of Austrian heroic mythology and folklore. Check their website for the band’s background (the Arnosynopsis) and member bios for the full story. It’s worth the click.

When I contacted Holzfeuer and asked his opinion about the recent Salon article (and the comments it garnered from ArnoCorps fans about their exclusion from the piece), he gave me an earful of his characteristic violent vocalizations.

RP: What are your feelings on the Salon article "Who knew "Predator" could inspire brilliant tunes?" and ArnoCorps being left out?

Holzfeuer: Hey, come on! We've just celebrated our 10-Year Anniversary with a sold out performance at the legendary Slim's in San Frantastic last month and let me tell you, I was thinking after all we've accomplished in the past decade with the critical acclaims, international tours, awards, names taken, walnuts cracked, all these things, maybe our work is finished, right? Maybe time to retire from action adventure rock and roll, go back home to Austria, teach yodeling, maybe open a ballsy gym or heroic strudel bakery, who knows, right? But then articles like this Salon atrocity come out and I can't believe my eyeholes, the things I am reading! Still people are uneducated about the origins of the heroic folklore and mythology of the alpine regions that have been bastardized and exploited by Hollywood moguls and power-hungry actors! This is another wake up call, reminding us that ArnoCorps' work has only just begun, right there. Can you believe that? Unbelievable!

 

RP:  Do you have any comments on the other works/artists cited?

Holzfeuer: It's all bullshit, all of it! Both of those silly little songs right there are inspired by cinema, which is all backwards. They are putting all the focus in the wrong places, like working on your biceps all day without working the deltoids or triceps or glutes! Come on! Same goes with having all these people who idolize the actor in there, Arnold Schwarzenoodle, believing he's actually as ballsy as the character he portrays in the movies, going so far as to elect him to be the leader of California! Unbelievable! ArnoCorps doesn't believe in idolizing others or putting people on the pedestals. We are about looking within yourself, encouraging our listeners to find the hero or shero within themselves to reach their greatest potentials to be international studs and studettes, to not take shit from anyone, to smoke their stogies wherever they want! What's the result? Our music is inspirational and timeless. Our songs restore integrity to the original heroic tales passed down around campfires for generations! ArnoCorps is not for novelties, where you laugh at little rhyming songs with your laughters and then move on with your miserable day, like with those shallow YouTube video songs. Forget about it! I'm thankful ArnoCorps was not included in that article. It would be like putting great Austrian musicians like Mozart or Schönberg on a mix tape with the Britney Spears or Justin Biebers!


RP: Ancient Austrian lore is no stranger to the opera, and Broadway is reaching out for more current topics and artists, such as Green Day's "American Idiot" and Spiderman, with mixed results. What about ArnoCorps? Might we see "ArnoCorps" the musical on Broadway one day?

Holzfeuer: Hey, let me tell you right now. ArnoCorps is always open to opportunities to inspire and motivate, right there. Our stories of epic heroism in our music combined with our own trials and tribulations as a band working against oppositions and people who misconstrue and all this, come on! It would be the greatest musical of all time! We'd make those Green Day guys look choir boys! We're open to reading treatments, but all you low forehead writers out there, you better come up with a better title than "Austrian Idiot."

Fan produced video of the ArnoCorps song "Predator" set to clips from Schwarzenegger's Hollywood bastardization of the ancient Austrian tales. Yes, ArnoCorps are big enough that fans produce videos of their songs.

To hear more ArnoCorps audio assaults, click here.

Rosemary Picado is a technical writer and freelance journalist.