It's snowing this morning. My run was pitch black. That means I have some big balls, right? At least that's what gets me going at 6 AM. 

Today's run was a little slower than usual, but no biggie. I must look ridiculous in my floppy headlamp and a damp reflective jacket. Fortunately, in all of the time I've run my river road I have only seen a handful of cars. 

I live rural. I never thought I'd get smugged.

 That's right, I was smugged this morning. Some one held me up with a smile and robbed me of my dignity. And it was my neighbor. 

She pulled her truck up to me. She began to talk through Gogol Bordello in my ears. I walked over to say hello. 

"Well you're a brave one to be out and about in the dark, aren't you?" the old broad asked (I call her an old broad because she is. She's my height, a little heavier and fourty years older and she drives a truck and has nothing nice to say. Ever. The first time I met her she told me that it was a "treat" to see my three-legged dog go for runs and if it were hers, she'd have shot him). 

"Oh, I'm all right. I have my headlamp," duh, "and my jacket. Folks can see me." I defended.

"And I'm sure the cougars and bears will respect the fact that they can see you well," she smiled. She smiled. That's how she rolls.

I didn't say anything. I said, look here, bitch, I'm going for a run because it's the only time in my day where I'm not taking care of children or working, and life's not been too peachy lately, and there are days--many days--where the only good thing to come out of it was a good morning  run. I said this to her in my head.

"Well, I guess you should run faster then, shouldn't you?"  She smiled and drove away. 

Road rage.

I started to run again, cheeks hotter than before. Argh. Blergh. She got me in just a few lines of conversation. That passive agressive bat. I ran faster and not because of cougars and biddies and bears, I ran faster because I was pissed that she tried to smug me on my morning run--my church, my little happy pill, my cigarette,my glass of wine, my sex. She made it real and a little bit uncomfortable. Now I have to worry about bears and cougars on my run? Blergh. 

My splits were good after that. I hate that she helped me run faster.

Thanks anyway, you old broad.  

So that's my run today.