It's a Safe_Bet...

Safe_Bet's Loving Spouse and Our Kid's Mom...

Safe_Bet's Amy

Safe_Bet's Amy
Location
In my own little hell, Alaska,
Birthday
June 06
Bio
Missing her while trying to be as good a mom as she was.

MY RECENT POSTS

JUNE 14, 2010 12:47PM

The Safe_Bet Project - (Update)

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In honor of my late wife Suzy / Safe_Bet, I’ve begun collecting posts in support of LGBTQI equality.   We in the community have a huge number of very talented heterosexual Allies (the A in LGBTQIA).  Here are their stories, posts and opinions.

 If y… Read full post »

Comments are now closed for this post.
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Welcome to The Safe_Bet Project.

Here you will find solidarity; here you will find camaraderie and here you will find some of the best writing about LGBTQIA equality every assembled in one location.

What makes this group of posts supportive of LGBTQIA equality different from the… Read full post »

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JUNE 1, 2010 6:20PM

I am SO Proud of Safe_Bet!

 

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 I am VERY proud to announce that my Suzy's writing was selected as the winning essay for Our Big Gayborhood's  "5th Annual Blogging for LGBT Families".  

 I am sure that my Suzy would have considered this the absolute best birthday present “… Read full post »

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MAY 9, 2010 11:24AM

The Best Mother In The World

 

woman_in_wheelchair_on_beach_web

The best mother in the world wasn’t really mine, but she would never admit that. 

She was always there for “Her” girls.  She was one of those touchy-feely kind of mothers that showed her love, not just with words, but with her touch. 

You know what IRead full post »

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APRIL 10, 2010 8:25PM

Hi Suz,

 

Not that most people around here gives a shit any longer, but you've been gone for a little over two months now.   I still can't get you out of my head even a little bit.    Somehow I think you planned that didn't you, you little schemer, you.  Well/Read full post »

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MARCH 22, 2010 1:59PM

Still Missing Her.

 

 

God I miss her today.

 

.

 

 

What makes me saddest is that, by now, I'm not even a memory to her.
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MARCH 1, 2010 7:24PM

Just Another Day Without Her

I actually thought that I was doing better.  Then this song came on the radio and I just started blubbering.  Fuck I miss her.

And that last kiss I'll cherish
Until we meet again
And time makes it harder
I wish I could remember

But I keep your memory
You visit me in my sleep
My darling,

Read full post »
Comments are now closed for this post.
FEBRUARY 26, 2010 10:32PM

A Letter to Me at 17

 

 

Dear Me at 17,

 

Yeah, I know…  but it will get better.  You will meet that girl you always fantasized about.  She’ll be exactly like you dreamed.  She’ll be funny, smart, sexy and she will love you more than anybody ever did.  She will be/… Read full post »

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FEBRUARY 21, 2010 10:25PM

GNS: Family / Her Diamonds

 

My sister-in-law left about an hour ago.  She's as close to family as we have.  The girls love it when their "Antee" visits and I think it does them good to be cuddled and fawned over by "family".  I try to do the "cuddle/fawn thing", but it must be somethingRead full post »

Comments are now closed for this post.
FEBRUARY 19, 2010 12:09AM

Tears

Today, I think I finally realized that Suzy is never going to be with me again. 

This morning, I used some of the anger I've been feeling to make myself finally start to clean out her closet.  I started with her shoes and didn't make it any farther.  I pickedRead full post »

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FEBRUARY 16, 2010 6:57PM

Who Am I? An Open question.

 

 

 

Dear OS Friends,

 

Because of a comment I read today, I went and read Robin Sneed’s first ever post.  http://open.salon.com/blog/robin_sneed/2008/08/18/im_here_not_exactly_queer

 

 

I’d really love to see her or anyone else with insight write more… Read full post »

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FEBRUARY 14, 2010 11:46PM

Scaring the Animals

I killed six hay bales today. 

This afternoon I realized that I had a tremendous anger in me.  I have always been a very self contained person and I found myself getting impatient at the girls and at myself over stupid little shit.  That was the anger in me leaking… Read full post »

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After my self-absorbed sob-fest yesterday, I promised myself not to  cry in front of the kids anymore.  I’ll still cry myself to sleep most nights, but from now on, all the kids will see is the strong, confident woman that they both need.  They need their Poppi back the way sheRead full post »

Comments are now closed for this post.
FEBRUARY 14, 2010 1:13AM

Happy Valentines, My Dearest Suzy

 

Happy Valentine's day, baby.

 

Every night in my dreams
I see you, I feel you
That is how I know you go on.

Far across the distance
and spaces between us
You have come to show you go on.

Near, Far,
wherever you are,
I believe that the heart does go on.

Once more, you opened the/
Read full post »

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FEBRUARY 13, 2010 9:45AM

Safe_Bet's Love Notes

She got me again, yesterday afternoon.

After Suzy started to have mobility and balance issues, we had made the room off of the kitchen into our bedroom.  That way  Suzy wouldn't have to deal with the stairs.   Yesterday, I decided to move back upstairs to the master bedr… Read full post »

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FEBRUARY 12, 2010 2:10AM

You're Home Now, Sweetie.

I went and talked to a psychologist this morning.  He told me that I would eventually get over her death and then I'd be able to move on.  He didn't get it so I won't be going back.  I needed to know how to survive without getting over her death. I… Read full post »

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FEBRUARY 10, 2010 12:57AM

Poetry for Valentines

  My Suzy wrote all of these for me.  She is and always will be my Valentine.

  

True Love

True love?
My boi in a dress
hating it, for me

True love?
My girls holding hands
untainted, big smiles

True love?
My lover’s touch
no reason, just cuz

True love?
My imps trying so har

Read full post »
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FEBRUARY 8, 2010 8:22AM

WET SMILES

I have this gritty, old bull dyke as a sponsor.  She is a nasty mean bitch but she tells me what I need to hear without pulling any punches (sometimes literally).  At 2 am this morning I was on the verge of losing it, but I called her and woke her upRead full post »

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FEBRUARY 7, 2010 10:27PM

THANK YOU OS

I don't get this stuff like Suzy did. I am not an internet mavin like she was. I could never figure out why the hell she spent so much time here, either.

I do now.  The warmth and concern that you, a bunch of people who don't really know us,… Read full post »

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FEBRUARY 6, 2010 11:17PM

I'M MISSING YOU TONIGHT.

It will be a week tonight that I rocked my love to sleep for the last time.

The girls think their Poppi is close to losing it and I know they're scared. So am I because they are right. We are just scared little girls that still can't really believe that… Read full post »

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FEBRUARY 5, 2010 12:16PM

BYE MY SAFE BET, I LOVE YOU

I am Amy and I don't know most of you, but I need to tell you that our Suzy is gone. 

When we went to bed last Saturday night, she told me she wasn’t feeling too well.  I held her in my arms and rocked my baby to sleep.  Just beforeRead full post »

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JANUARY 20, 2010 5:20AM

Want Some Whine With That Cheese?

I'm gonna delete this in the morning, but damn it, I feel like whining right now.  The pain killers aren't doing a damn thing and my legs and left arm freak'in HURT!  I'm also feeling sorry as hell for myself at the moment. 

Sitting here in a dark kitchen in… Read full post »

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JANUARY 12, 2010 2:01PM

Welcome to My Eulogy, Part IV

 Sorry kids, but this one is all for your Poppi.  

Amy, I’m trusting you when you said you wouldn’t read anymore of these posts.  Remember, if you cheat I’ll know cuz you never could keep a secret from me!  :heart:   

 

Do you remember thRead full post »

JANUARY 10, 2010 10:46AM

Welcome to my Eulogy, Part III

 Hi, sweeties.  It’s mom again.  Hope you two are having a good day and are ‘having”.  BTW, it never failed to crack me up when I told you two to “behave” and you’d tell me, “But mommy, we are being haved!”  My, but you two giveRead full post »

JANUARY 8, 2010 7:21PM

Welcome to my Eulogy, Part II

I know you three…  even with your bestest intentions you are going to get bored and your eyes will glaze over.  That’s okay for most of what I’m posting to you, but I HOPE there are a couple of nuggets that will be worth the effort.  So I’ve decided to breakRead full post »