in which I continue my account of crimes and methods of retaliation committed byDOE and a defense contractor 

    Step 9: Terrify your tormentors.

    I was on leave from work for three weeks while being forced to submit to a psychiatric evaluation.  After enduring the Minnesota Multiphasic something or other, I was told that I would benefit from counseling until I got over the business about the sexual harrassment and theft of my poetry and houseplans.

    I returned to work, then, with a heavy heart and thoroughly intimidated.  When I got back I was sent to the Director of the Medical Division.  Apparently it wasn't over yet.  The Medical Director looked like he had escaped from the pages of Gone With the Wind.  He sported antebellum sideburns, full and frosty white.  He was beyond fat--he was corpulent.  His flesh melted from his head and puddled around his hips.

    He instructed me to stay away from the Affirmative Action Office.  "If you have any more problems you come and see me," he said.  I let him know I was going to fight on.  "We'll fire you," he smirked.  "No you won't, fool, because if you do, if you even try, I'll sue."  I had become reckless in my rage.  "You people have some kind of problem dealing with women, don't you," I interrogated ruthlessly.  "We dealt with you just fine," he smiled.

    That did it.  I snapped.  In the space of a breath I probed the tunneled recesses of my psyche for the right words, words that would hurt.  "Look at you," I sneered.  "You're grossly obese.  How much longer can you live?  Not long, I'll bet.  And I'm going to tell you what death is.  It's a BIG, BLACK, GAPING MAW and it's opening at your feet right now, so step carefully, Garrett, step carefully."    His eyes went big and perfectly round.  "You're fired," he whimpered in a puny little voice.  Hah! Got him, I knew as soon as I saw his face.

    I returned to my office where Judy, one of the other editors, told me they had done the same to her.  I wasn't surprised.  She bore the curse of great beauty.    Shortly after Dr. Garrett fired me, I was given a raise and promotion.  I guess they were going for a different tactic.