"The brain of an 18-year-old college freshman is still far from resembling the brain of someone in their mid-twenties." Craig Bennett

Earlier this summer I wrote about graduation and preparing for an 'empty nest.' Advice on how to gear up for your high school grad's last --and slightly unsettled-- summer at home before college.

I hope things went smoothly. Or anyway, that you had enough bail money.

Now it's time for a few practical tips on getting them ready for college, settled in and on helping them through the first year. Which is the hardest. For all of you.

Moving In, Moving On
Mom puts together the freshman dorm room. That's just the way it is. Shopping for sons is easier, usually online. Daughters require joint shopping forays and many arguments. Mostly pleas for more stuff.

Make a budget and don't deviate far from it or the college-supplied list. Be firm. Then surprise her with one special little thing her first month at school.

At the dorm, you'll see Dads and kids up and down the halls, hauling piles of stuff from the car. Inside the rooms, you'll see sweaty Moms making the beds and putting stuff away.

The kids just expect it. Why not, their rooms at home came fully supplied. All they did was add books, trophies, personal items and piles of detritus over the years. So, the first year away, even if you don't do it all, they need help.

They'll ask your advice on schedules, teams, food service, anything that you did for them during high school. Offer some guidance, but urge them to seek out class, dorm and older student advisors.

Whatever they have to find for themselves they're more likely to remember.

By sophomore year they have a better grasp of how to manage their own lives. They'll begin to look at school, and you, with new eyes. School is an academic challenge and a party venue. You are the money machine and delivery service.

Each new semester they'll need you to ferry their stuff, maybe ask Mom to make the bed. Then it'll be,"Thanks, you can leave now" as they find their friends and make plans for renewed independence.

A Few Practical Tips
Meds
Bring new prescriptions. Then make your kid find Student Health on his own to get them filled.

Passports
If the school's near Canada, Mexico or the Caribbean, make sure their passports are current and stored in a lock box you've provided for valuables and meds. (After they've been ripped off once or twice, they'll use it.)

First Aid
Put together a box of band aids, Neosporin, Pepto, Advil, Tylenol, over-the-counter cold remedies, throat lozenges, a digital thermometer, Kleenex and condoms. Freshmen get scraped, drunk, hung over, laid and hit with endless viruses. They have never taken care of themselves when sick. Insist they get the flu shot the school provides in October.

Various and Sundries
Make sure s/he's got shower shoes, a variety of batteries, a working flashlight, a loud whistle, a couple of light bulbs and a phone card (to call home about the lost cell).

Laundry
If the school offers a laundry service and you can afford it, have your student sign up for it. Even the most fastidious kid will sleep on one set of sheets for an entire semester just to avoid doing laundry. Really.

Expect them to bring piles of laundry home on visits and breaks. Buy lots of Clorox. When you open their bags, you'll gag.

Homey Photos
Girls like to make photo collages for their dorm room walls. I was firmly told it's not a guy thing. That's not to say your son doesn't want--and need--pictures of home. Put together a small album with favorite photos of family, friends, pets, teams, bands, whatever. Believe me, there will be lonely, homesick nights when those pictures will provide great comfort.

The Inevitable
They will lose a winter coat.

Their cell phone will have to be replaced at least once, usually twice. (Our honor student dropped one in the toilet, lost one in the snow.)

You will get a pitiful snuffling, hacking, coughing, sneezing phone call when they get the flu because they forgot to sign up for the flu shot. (They won't forget again sophomore year.)

You will not believe how much books cost.

They will hate dorm food and beg for extra money to buy "something I can eat." Translation: pizza, Chinese food and tacos.

Returning home will never be the same. They'll be out til the wee hours, then sleep all day. (As my friend Dan says, "You send them away boys, they come home bats.") There'll be lots of private phone calls. Comings and goings without wanting to explain.

Within reason, roll with it. Give them some space. They're testing new-found freedom and independence. But there are rules at college, so you can and should enforce house rules too.

Keep Home Base the Same
Do not touch their rooms. Don't move anything out. Don't move anything in. Protect the image of Home as a safe haven. They're not ready yet to give you--or it--up. If you respect that, they'll be more likely to move comfortably out when the time comes.

Plus, you really don't want to know yet what's under the bed and behind the bookcase.

Time Flies
Those four years will zip by in a blink. Graduation will come all too soon. Savor the time while you have it, and them.

Our son graduated and moved out. He's a working professional and grateful for the discipline and self-sufficiency we helped instill. He shows up when he wants a home cooked meal or just to touch base. We call, email and text each other.

He's living his own life and so are we. I still give advice. He still gives hugs. My life as an empty nester is good.

But I'll tell you a secret...

Even though his room is now used for guests and extra storage, I still wander in there every once in a while. I run my hands over the trophies I can't throw away, pick up a book, smile at the parade of team and school pictures. I open his closet to touch the few things still there. I sit on the bed. And remember my child. As a child.

When your turn comes--if it hasn't already--you'll do that too.