I think of you in the morning, the afternoon, in the evening too. Often late at night. I don't remember dreaming about you, but no matter, it's the conscious thought of you that drives my addiction.
You inspire me. Oh yes, you do. I want to give you my best. Entertain you, amaze and surprise you, even thrill you. Make you think, make you laugh, sometimes make you cry. Most of all, make you want more of me. The way I want more of you.
I can't seem to stop telling you about myself. My life, my family, my careers, so many life experiences, dreams and demons come spilling out for you. Some I didn't know I remembered until I found myself telling them to you.
My dark and chaotic childhood. My first kiss. My carefree, sometime self-destructive single days. Marriage. Motherhood. Fear. Family trials and tribulations. Loss. Friends. Lovers. Brushes with the great, the near great and the just plain creepy.
I've only scratched the surface and I can't wait to tell you more. I feed on you, on the knowledge that you want more. I tell myself I don't need you, and really, I don't.
But I want you. Oh. Yes. I know you want me too. You tell me you do. You are so kind. Generous. Funny. Charming. Even tender.
Sure, you get in my face sometimes. But I like that. It sharpens my mind, hones my instincts, sets me humming with the thrill of fencing with you. On your terms. Or mine.
There are times you challenge me to give you something special, specific. Guess what? That's hard for me. So many ideas fill my head it's almost impossible to choose. Or, well, nothing comes at all.
Sometimes you say something about yourself and I think, oh that's so wonderful. Or sad. Or inspiring. And dingdingdingdingding, I remember something similar I want to share with you too.
Other times I think, what can I offer you? What light or dark or exciting or mysterious facet of me will engage you? How can I please you without giving away too much of myself? After all, I have to protect myself too.
Satisfying you, safeguarding me. It's a tough line to walk. I don't always get it right.
But for you, I'll take chances. Push the envelope. Raise the bar. Think outside the box. Move the needle. Poke the pinata. Come up with as many cliches as possible, then shoot them down, one by one. Until all that's left is me.
No matter what, that's who you get. Me. The real deal. The genuine article. I can't give you anything less. Because I want you to want me. To look for me. Wonder about me. Imagine what I'm going to give you next.
I want you to need a taste of me, not all, just a taste.
Until the next one.
I'm addicted to you. That's okay. You're addicted to me too.
Oh, you should see your face.
And mine.
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Max Rivlin-Nadler
drlaura2
Kristina Lakes
mhold
L in the Southeast
Jane Brogan
Salon.com
Comments
Sexy, sweet and true. And the last part gave me such a smile. Thank you, girl!
"sets me humming with the thrill of fencing with you"
Annie, always a hug for you.
Aunt Shelle, Kaysong, if I made you feel good for even just a few seconds, my work here was successful.
dharma, happy to have overrun the 'bummer.' :)
Whipped butter, Beth? Wow, I'll take it. (Have a lot of sex on the mind lately?)
I hope everyone reads this as personally as I meant it.
(rate if you share my addiction, please)
(rated because I share your addiction)
Stacey, if you post that picture, I won't be able to visit you until it's pushed off the page... :/
:)
the addiction runs both ways......and i am thrilled in the pulsating space of your best stories..I guess you are part of my addiction too..and I love telling you, and all of us that.
Blubberstick just gave me a very verklimpt look........he loves it when I am happily typing.....
Monte
Lea, thank you for sharing what so many of us share. You're right, ahem, your addiction is worse...
Sandra, verklempt from you = high praise indeed, GF.
Gary, happy to know you're addicted to me too. I meant each person to read with his/her own eye. I hope that happened. Because this addiction is personal to me.
Monte, Verbal, Lainey, we have become friends, it's very cool. Lainey's right, it can get out of hand--in a good way--out there IRL. Which, btw, is RHT. (Real Here Too)
What can I say, you all make me high.
MrGarbo, give your dog a kiss for me... um, air kiss, not on the doggie lips.
And then ... I stopped to think about the fact that each of us by posting here and exposing ourselves and our personal lives have become public figures, too.
That is not a comforting thought, and the only small comfort in being so exposed is the friendships we make here that wouldn't be possible any other way.
Tom, WTF? you're harshing my mellow... jeez. Here I am feeling warm and squishy with all this addiction luv and you come along with your serious reality buzz... I so read this one wrong, I thought you'd have a song about this by now.
AND US!!! ADDICTION LOVES COMPANY,
OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT!
GROUP HUG!
"OK, FUN'S OVER. SHOWER UP!"
Dorinda, nice to know I struck a chord.
Cherie, you got the kiddies, that's a much better addiction. But we do love it when you're here.
Tom, I was just kidding (sort of), I got what you meant to say, just didn't expect you to go all commando serious on this one, (I was kinda hoping you'd take the bait instead), my mistake. Glad you're here. Period.
Paws up.
so, ditto, girlfriend---ditto.
This is a lovely post. Thank you.
Maddie, you got it, it's not like writing into the ether or inside your own head (at least not always), it's more about talking to me or Sandra or Liz or Tom, etc., etc. one-on-one or in a small, intimate group.
Michael, right back atcha.
Joan K, thank you, but I don't want to be an enabler... btw, I was also speaking to my husband (and other special people in my RL) who read what I share.
Silkstone, this is one drug I don't mind pushing...
Closer to the truth is that you can't get enough of if.
You're gonna have to face it you're addicted to Open Salon.
My goal was to connect to each one personally, one-0n-one, not in a meta way at all. Look at my tags, no OS or Open Salon or even beta. Hmm, perhaps it's a style expectation? (Thinking out loud now). Coming from maybe Sandra or Rob or Cartouche.. or Gary! Maybe that would have ... no, I'm good at the personal touch, at being Real, that's not it.
Anybody have a take on my wish to connect with each of you as opposed to a confession of an OS addiction? Did I succeed or fail?
angrymom, TeenDoc, thanks... I hope for you (as it appears from others), it felt personal. Because it was meant that way.
and so am i. mainline OS.
(Column A = see it as individual tribute. Column B = assume OS addiction.)
Hey, Greg, no matter, thanks a LOT for the "elegant." I'll take it.
I didn't plan to come here this morning. I just kind of, well, found myself here. Because, well, because it seemed like a good idea at the time. I didn't realize there was a meeting going on.
Since I'm here.... Hi! I'm Cynthia and I'm an OS addict and a Sallaholic
Cindy Lou and Mary, special in a different way to you, girfriends! Sallaholic? I like it!
I didn't do an addiction post, and now I'm glad I didn't because you said it best. And yes, dammit - I'm addicted to you too.
Write on. :-D
Thumbed for jonesing.