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Mother's Day Tears and Laughter
Friday, May 06, 2005

I wasn't sure how to approach Mother's Day this year. There's such misery in the world, so much suffering. For too many, Mother's Day is a grim reminder of devastating loss, not a happy reason to celebrate. 

I wanted to help, say something to ease their pain, but I didn't know how. My pain from our empty nest couldn't possibly compare to their permanent loss. Still, it was all too much. My heart hurt.

Then the flowers came. From our 21-year-old son, away at college. With a note that's an instant classic, priceless, one for the books.

It made me laugh out loud in my kitchen, filled my eyes with tears of gratitude and joy.

I realized I haven't laughed like that in a long time. I need a break. For a day, a weekend, I need to stop and literally smell the roses. Pat myself on the back for a job well --if not yet completely-- done.

I'm resolving to heed the heart-rending advice of those not as lucky as I: Don't take life for granted, love your family mightily, spend time with them, cherish every precious moment. You never know when fate might snatch it all away.

I'm honoring all mothers, good, bad or indifferent, most of whom loved, tried, saw their share of hard work, worry, pain and regret. Even the worst of them should be thanked, if only for the gift of life.

I'm suggesting this could be a good time to let the baggage and the anger go, let Mom off the hook, get on with life, make lemonade if you got a lemon.

Life moves so quickly. It seems children are grown in a blink. We remind ourselves to enjoy them while we can. Then daily responsibilities intervene, jobs and chores deflect our attention, sap our energy -- and priceless time slips away.

We mustn't let that happen. It's an insult to every mother who would trade any promotion, appointment or night's sleep for even one more day of her child's life.

Parents seem to age in a blink too. And too many of their children, growing or grown would give anything for a chance to show them more love, offer more thanks ... if only they still could.

So if we're smart we'll grab Mother's Day with both hands, celebrate our children, ourselves and our own mothers if we can. Let them know we recognize, and appreciate their efforts. In the end, that's what matters most.

Mothers only want their kids to say Thanks, Mom. Something, anything to let us know all those sleepless nights and anxious days weren't for nothing.

I got that in spades this year. Along with just the light and laughter I needed. Plus a reminder there's no such thing as a Perfect Mother  ... or a Perfect Child. We're all simply human beings, doing the best we can.

Here is the ultimate college kid card attached to the flowers from my son. I couldn't make this up if I tried: 

Just come home and give your mother a kiss. That's all the payment I need.

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