Boca Raton Hospital & Grille, Want Fries With That IV?
Patients shall have the right to:
- Considerate and respectful care at all times and appreciation for their individual dignity. PATIENT'S BILL OF RIGHTS, Boca Raton Community Hospital
Everything in this Healthcare Nightmare is true. It happened to my parents this week. And they're among the lucky ones who (supposedly) have good health care.
They're covered by Medicare, pay for supplementary health insurance and a private concierge doctor. Plus a top cardiologist.
Which doesn't mean squat in the face of inattentive, incompetent support personnel.
My Two Cents
There are many fine nurses in this country, my sister among them. All are overworked, underpaid, not nearly respected enough, though often manning the front lines, providing critical quality medical care that saves lives.
As far as I can tell, none of them work at the Boca Raton Community Hospital.
Here's how I know.
911
Wednesday I got one of those calls. From my parent's Boca condo. While I'd been at physical therapy an ambulance had taken my father to the hospital with chest pain.
Uh oh. Dad's 93, has a pacemaker, this can't be good.
I called the phone number they gave me, which surprisingly went directly to his room. Mom answered, shaken but calm. He was stable, they didn't think it was a heart attack.
So why was he in a room?
Given his age and history they'd admitted him for 24-hour observation and to get full medical attention until he was cleared. (That sentence is the key to this story. Remember it).
Hospital Hi-jinx
Mom would sleep in his room, a double with only one bed. "They're looking for a cot for me" she said.
Did I mention Mom's 86, three-quarters blind, has multiple health problems? Sleeping on a cot could turn her into a patient, or worse.
She told me they didn't know where the other bed was for that room. Or where any beds were, for that matter.
Plus, though Dad had been warned not to get out of bed without their help, nobody had come --or answered the call button-- for the past two hours.
She'd walked Dad to the bathroom twice, rolling his IV stand along. Remember, he's 93 with a pacemaker. Did I mention he also has seizure issues, two replaced hips, is almost totally deaf?
And did I also mention Mom's not only near-blind but has shunts in her brain, severe arthritis and uses a cane or a walker?
The nursing station had been given all that information. Apparently the story wasn't good enough to hold their attention. Well, you know, old people. Hello? It's Florida!
Remote Rescue Attempts
Fyi, I am the primary parental caregiver in our extended family. But I'm recovering from rotator cuff surgery (with my own hospital horror stories) and not allowed to fly yet.
So I jumped on the phone. First I'd make sure they were more comfortable and better looked after, then I'd call their Primary and Cardiologist.
I called the hospital, got connected to the nurse's station on Dad's floor. I told the woman who answered I'm The Parent's daughter, I have HIPAA clearance to manage their care, it's in the chart, can we discuss a few things?
We talked for 10 frustrating minutes, she couldn't answer any of my questions. Because, she finally admitted, she's an aide, fills water pitchers, makes beds, answers phones, empties bedpans, like that.
Incredulous, I asked, "Why didn't you tell me that right away?"
"Oh you're so interesting to talk to and you know so much I thought I might learn something."
Nurse Ratchet & The Coocoos
White-knuckling the phone I requested in a deathly quiet voice to speak to my father's NURSE. A woman got on the phone, "Yes? Who's this? What do you want?"
"Hello, I'm The Parent's daughter," I said politely. "I'm calling from Philadelphia. I'm concerned about them and hoped to...."
"OH LORD! What do they want NOW???" she snarled, with unmasked disgusted impatience. Yes, snarled.
Big mistake, lady. Big. Mistake.
"I'LL TELL YOU WHAT *I* WANT," I snapped out each word like a drill sergeant, "I WANT TO TALK TO YOUR SUPERVISOR. NOW!"
"Oh, that's not necessary, Miss, I'll help you." She got real nice, real fast, "Whatever you want to know, I'll tell you."
I asked for an update on his current status and next steps. I also explained Mom's need for a real bed, not a cot, and gave a brief overview of her medical issues.
"Oh noo, we can't take care of her too," she whined. "Your father takes so much medication (3 pills twice a day, a real triathlon). And I'm trying to find her a bed."
"You don't have to take care of my mother, just get her the bed, please," I said. "They use hospital beds at home, she can't sleep without one.
"Also, it's 3 o'clock," I added. "They've been there since the morning, she's stressed out, she should lie down and rest. In. A. Bed.
"And really, someone should check on them, she can't care for my father herself, he needs skilled help."
Here it comes....
Hospital and Grille
"Okay. Fine," Florence Nightenmare replied with an exasperated sigh. "But can you call back in an hour or two? I'm eating lunch."
Yep. Eating lunch.
She was on duty. The floor was almost empty (hey, Florida's almost empty in August), just a handful of patients. A cardiac floor. Patients with possibly life-threatening conditions.
Okay, I guess that's why she needed to keep up her own strength.
I sat for a moment in total disbelief, staring at the phone. "Hello?" she said, "Hello, you there?"
"Uh, yes." I was still thinking, what, my mother should fall and break a hip doing your job while you sit on your ass and eat lunch?
"Could you just hand me off to the Charge Nurse please." A moment on hold.
"She's eating too. Call back in a couple hours." Click.
Whoa. Okay. If the Charge Nurse (the boss) wouldn't put down her fork, I was really SOL. And my parents were in potential danger.
Dr. Oops
There's more. Dad's pacemaker is also a diagnostic tool. It can be "interrogated" to learn if any "events" have been recorded. You know, like heart attacks.
Nobody had done that.
I called the ("renowned") cardiologist's office to see why not. They hadn't thought of it. But, hey, good idea. They'd tell the nurses to contact that service. When I mentioned they might be too busy eating, I heard, "Not again. I'll call the director."
I took a pain pill. Two, actually.
When I called the room an hour later, Mom was resting in a bed that had miraculously appeared. (I asked if she'd found any crumbs in it). Dad's pacemaker had been 'queried,' he was being wheeled out for more tests.
Who's On First?
While Dad was out of the room another nurse came in to take blood. She wanted my mother's. "I'm not the patient, my husband's getting some tests, can you come back?"
"Look, Lady, I got orders to take blood in this room, so roll up your sleeve." Mom got a free blood test. She doesn't have cardiac issues, but she's diabetic.
We started wondering if they'd come in and give Dad insulin. Which could kill him. I warned Mom to demand the name of any meds before he took them -- if she didn't recognize the name, he should refuse it and have the doctor called.
STFU!
On Dad's return he was in some pain and had to pee. They pushed the call button repeatedly for 20 minutes but no one came.
Finally an indignant voice yelled over the intercom, "Stop buzzing us! You're supposed to call your nurse directly. Her phone number's on the white board across from the bed."
Mom lost it. About time, too. "I'M BLIND!" she screamed. "My husband needs help and I can't see the phone number or dial the phone! Get someone in here, please!"
Mission accomplished. Help was sent. All calmed down. Two dinners arrived. Heart healthy? Sugar free? Surely you jest. Meatloaf, mashed potatoes and gravy... bonus, cake and ice cream.
Oy.
The doctors showed up early evening. Dad would be fine, they wanted him to stay the night and be monitored, have the staff keep an eye on him. (I told Mom to order a pizza for the nurses so they wouldn't be hungry later if he needed them).
Did I mention Dad wasn't hooked up to a heart monitor? Never. That no one had taken his vitals for hours?
The Last, Unbelievable Straw
3 AM. Mom and Dad were sleeping peacefully. Then a tap, tap, tap on Dad's shoulder. A dream, he thought. Ignored it. Again, tap, tap, tap, and a little shake of his shoulder. "Mr. I, wake up."
Groggily he tried to focus on the figure standing there. "What is it?
Wait for it ... here it comes ...
"Sir, do you have a Living Will?
That woke him right up. "Huh? What? Am I dying???"
"Do you want heroic measures? Do you want to be shocked? Intubated? Resuscitated? Or would you prefer to die?"
"Who the hell ARE you?? Why did you wake me? Am. I. Dying???"
"You seem fine." Well, what a comfort. "But we can't find your Living Will, we don't know what the day nurses did with it. It has to be in your chart."
Good old Dad. "I'll make you a deal. I won't die tonight and I won't call the president of the hospital tomorrow. Just help me to the bathroom and take out this IV. It's been in wrong all day, it's empty and was supposed to come out hours ago."
She took the deal.
Fortunately, Mom slept through that incident. Or there might have been two heart attacks.
Aftermath
Dad's echocardiogram (and Mom's blood work) were normal. He was sent home.
The chest pain came from muscle spasms around the pacemaker. Which I'd suggested was probably the case, especially since he wasn't pale, sweating, nauseated, the pain wasn't radiating ... all indicators of potential heart attack.
He was, in fact, eating breakfast while complaining about the pain.
I told them the same thing happened when my folks were staying here. Twice. No other symptoms, just muscle pain in his chest.
Here in Philly he was in and out of the ER in 3 hours with the same correct diagnosis.
If the Boca ER had checked his pacemaker, taken some blood and done the echocardiogram, they could have sent him home too. Saving how much money???
And the nurses on the 2nd Floor could have eaten lunch without interruption til they burst.
Moral of the Story
America's health care crisis isn't just about lack of adequate insurance. Our entire heath care system needs a total overhaul to insure there's no lack of competent care.
The best health coverage in the world won't protect you from incompetence and stupidity.
Mom and Dad were lucky. We can laugh about it now. Most people can't. Dead people definitely can't.
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Max Rivlin-Nadler
drlaura2
Kristina Lakes
mhold
L in the Southeast
Jane Brogan
Salon.com
Comments
I feel your pain.
JK, this is one hospital but it's like this all over Florida. I've begged my parents to get to the Cleveland Clinic in Lauderdale... that extra 20 minutes is less dangerous than the sub-standard care.
spotted, you nailed it. They have a mindset of never speaking up to a doctor. They see them as Gods. We, their children have to be extra aware of that.
Owl, what a great idea. I'm thinking of putting out a hit, just to maim and hospitalize them.
This is one of the most well deserved EP's that I've read, Sally. Rated and Zumapick(FWTW).
Breathe, Robin, breathe... I'd rather raise your bp some other way. ;) So sorry about your friend. Jeez.
ibeg, love the idea of pizza in a bedpan! I may just send them some stale cookies in an old one I have lying around.
zuma, my sister (the nurse) is going to make sure this gets to the right "eyes." You're giving me a Zumapick? That's worth a damn lot to me!
I've been treated in both Army and VA hospitals and have never had anything like the treatment and disrespect depicted in your wonderfully written story. I hope your parents are at least comfortable and getting the care they deserve wherever they may be.
Lisa, I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't just lived it. I'm literally drained.
J.R. I'm glad you got good treatment in a VA hospital, many are far worse than this one. It's in an affluent community, well-funded, you'd think the care would be better. My folks are back home and okay, thanks for asking.
Dr. Steve, with all that eating, we can't really be sure. :::squeak:::
Lea, you're so right, we need an advocate or we have to be our own. Much of Florida medicine, as I'm sure you know, is a disgrace.
I looked up Boca Raton hospitals, and see only Boca Raton Community Hospital, West Boca Medical Center.
You MUST send this to JCHAO (Joint Commission on Accreditation of Healthcare Organizations). Both of those hospitals are JCHAO accredited. Here's the address to submit a complaint online:
http://www.jointcommission.org/GeneralPublic/Complaint/
The thing with the "nurse" coming in to take blood from somebody "in this room"--I am in the professional position to know that this in particular is not only disturbing, but completely against standards. You might also consider reporting the incident to the state (Florida is one state that licenses all health professionals and facilities):
http://www.doh.state.fl.us/mqa/enforcement/enforce_home.htm
These are serious (REALLY SERIOUS) allegations, and if even half of it is true, you should report it and PRONTO.
Send your parents up to Venice, where it's good to be old.
Oddly enough, my cardiologist was at my side in minutes........
glad your folks are OK!
But it illustrates the point that the health care system is not here for the patients, but for private profits. That's why the legislation they're discussing on Capitol Hill is unaccepable. It doesn't really address that most basic problem.
Health care is not a truly competitive environment. When you have chest pains, you can't do research, check out the various possible facilities, and choose the one with the best value. You just call 911, and hope for the best. It has to be controlled in the public interest. Right now, it is not. All the other problems of our health care system are either related to that, or of much less significance.
bobbot, you're close, it's Mouth of the Rat because that's what the waterway entrance resembles. So does the health care.
Lisa, you're so right. See what I just said to Dayna. I am SO glad they have us and hope my son never has to face this alone with his parents.
MOM, thank you for adding a point I neglected to make... people are living much longer, often in pretty good health, but still, a HUGE drain on health care... especially dangerous if it's bad.
voicegal, I agree, my only concern with heads rolling is who replaces them... oy.
Ginny, what an incredible story and how smart you were. Glad you're okay.
Silkstone, we know only too well in our family how dangerous hospitals are... as I myself found out, they can kill you.
Blue, keep a good eye on your parent's health care, it's a damn scary world.
FarOut, that older generation remembers and still believes that if you sue a medical provider you'll be black-balled from health care by all of them. At least my parents are sentient and had me on their side, I worry about all those who cant speak up and have no one to help them.
Bill, our whacked for-profit health care system is the undertone to this whole piece. Even with the best coverage possible, my parents still got screwed. And look how much money Medicare charged to keep them overnight unnecessarily... we ALL pay for that.
Every other time one or more of us --yes, more often me-- has been there. Hips were replaced, pacemakers implanted, eye surgeries done, etc., etc., here in Philly; we have an apt for them in our home. You cannot make adult human beings, especially those who've diapered your ass, do what they don't want to do.
Judy, wowie zowie, you're on the ball. Remember, I already got the "it all turned out okay, they were nice in the end, we don't want to make trouble" speech. We must proceed like Pink Panthers.
And while nurses are limited in their field of practice, we are allowed to make judgment calls such as putting a cardiac patient on a cardiac monitor, and taking regular vital signs. None of this is rocket science. I'm so steamed there may be more. Sally'sSisterJudyTheNurse
Incomoetence and stupidity exist on both sides of the border. My Dad was in a Canadian hospital and they didn't know he was blind until I told them. How do you NOT know a blind man is blind?
I complained to the "patient advocate" in the TOMAH WI VA HOSPITAL about a dr who is IN CHARGE of the osteo dept.
When I FINALLY got him on the phone, he said to me, "I WON'T TREAT YOU ANYMORE BECAUSE YOU COMPLAINED ABOUT ME."
This is a TRUE story.
Add to that, the local yokel VA clininc here in WAUSAU WI hires retar. er. retired drs who treat us ALL with the disinterest which PROVES that the VA ORDERED them to
This happens constantly.
I was in the process of typing that the drs at the local VA clinic have VERY CLEARLY been ORDERED to DO AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE FOR US.
And, all we heqar is about fixing the healthcare system??
Well, ask a vet about this.
OK, ok, I know, I shouldn't be wasting everyone else's time in someone else's blog.
Sorry, I'll just go away and die.
Yes they can. Trust me.
My mother was a nurse in her day (she's 88) and by all accounts, she was a fantastic bed-side nurse. I never really understood what that meant as I was growing up, but I do now. It is the ethos and the capability of taking care of patients in the exact opposite way that your parents were taken care of.
Nurses are well paid Sally. They have great hours, and I do know that they can be overworked. But, this sort of lapse in judgment is really negligence of the highest order. I wish your parents had brought a complaint against the hospital.
And, your question:
"What, my mother should fall and break a hip doing your job while you sit on your ass and eat lunch?" is right out of the playbook from my husband's family. I laughed when I heard it.
denese
Yo, Judy, you're on the case! I don't have to tell you they won't be happy to know we've made waves. But this (ahem) chicken shit stuff has GOT to stop.
boomer, Mom has just enough vision to make out dim shapes so you don't notice her blindness right away. In this case, though, they were TOLD over and over yet still expected her to read a tiny whites board and dial a phone.
XJS, I removed those dupes for you, sometimes the comment button has a hair trigger. I want to tell you first, Thank You For Your Service. Second, VA hospitals are a DISGRACE, which I've mentioned above but bears repeating. A lot. Vets should get the finest care possible, yet you end up getting the dregs. Outrageous.
mamoore and Mary, you both hit on one of my highlights... I fear for those who have no one to speak for them. When I yelled, the nurses *eventually* jumped into action. Imagine how they treat patients who have no one to yell? Disgraceful.
Buffy, I thought of you a lot while writing this. How are things going? We did laugh about some of the more outrageous behavior ... after the fact. If you found laughter, tell your story too.
denese, I hear you (so to speak :), glad we're on the same page with this one. It's a Boomer situation that'll only get worse. If you saw in the comments, my sister Judy's a nurse and is taking point on contacting TPTB. We have another sister who's a lawyer, btw.... ahem.
It was a hard read for me--you told it very well, but I'm dreading some of this happening in our own lives. I know you know what I mean and things are devolving...it's just so frustrating that patients and patient care are not preeminent.
Best to you dear, keep fighting.
Almost two years ago, my mother (71 at the time and who has dementia) was admitted for severe back pain to GBMC (Baltimore). I came down from NYC to help my Dad out. Amongst the usual issues (rude, too busy nurses who had no clue as to what the doctor ordered and one who decided she wasn't speaking to my mother) we had the fun of steroid psychosis at 2 AM.
The nurse (who had no idea of why my mom was confused) called us at home to tell us my Mom was insisting we were in the room, and asked, could we come talk to her on the phone? or come in and tell her we weren't there (!?). Once we got there, and begged for an hour for the nurses to call the doctor, we learned she had been given steroids (hence the possibility of psychosis). Hello? Maybe they should have told us? Not the woman with dementia (and yes, it was in her chart).
The fun kept coming, because the next day, my father (the stoic, full time caretaker of my mom) had a breakdown after witnessing my mom hallucinating our presence and then telling us we were plotting against her (seeing her psychotic was the final straw after multiple traumatic events that year plus his long term history of depression). So I had my Dad (78 at the time) admitted to the (at same hospital so I didn't have to drive elsewhere!). He was to be observed for 24 hours, in order to get admitted to Shepard Pratt (a psychiatric hospital). Now I had BOTH parents at the same awful hospital. My sister in law then tried to take my mom home but couldn't get her morphine sulfate pills from the hospital pharmacy because they denied my Mom had medicare (yet, the hospital admissions had verified it!)
In the ER, we tried to convince them that Dad was there because he needed to get into the psychiatric hospital and since he was over 65, needed the 24 watch for health issues before he could enter as in-patient. Dad made the mistake of mentioning chest pains (he has them whenever he is anxious) and for the next 36 hours every person who came into his room insisted he was there for a heat attack! I ordered a suicide watch person for him because I had to go home (and be with mother) for the night and the woman snored the whole night keeping my suicidal Dad awake (they had given him meds to sleep!). Oddly, the cardiac ward had very decent nurses, guess what, it was outsourced!
I swore I would never return to that hospital. My dad had a heart attack the following year and he went to Sinai, a much better "experience" but by no means perfect. (Love that fried and synthetic food they serve in Cardiac Acute Care!)
Months later, my mom got nauseous and weak, then turned yellow. She was taken from her boutique doctor's office (don't get me started on his incompetence) by ambulance to.... you guessed it, GBMC! The nightmare continued! They couldn't figure out anything for a week and since Friday was coming, they figured she'd be more comfortable at home while she waited to go see liver doctor at John's Hopkins on Monday. The woman hadn't eaten on her own for two weeks and was still bright yellow and unable to walk, but they sent her home.
So, we took her to Hopkins ourselves. Again, Hopkins was not perfect (I had this crazy idea that the VIP suite would be worth a few hundred a night so that we might get more nurse per person, but you could hardly tell, I think they were having two hour lunches too, after all, it was the VIP suite!) but eventually after redoing GBMC's tests they were able to figure out that she had a liver reaction to the medicine given to her by the big, famous "hoohah" memory doctor at Hopkins. (I had been emailing him almost daily asking him if this could have been the issue, he assured me it probably wasn't).
I have lived in Japan and Canada, officially had health care in Japan, and paid for it directly in Canada, and the nursing care was infinitely better than what we have here. We would be LUCKY to have nursing care like that. When I get old, I am MOVING!
Barry, we have to stay vigilant, don't we. It's hard enough close to home, trying to protect loved ones from afar is such a balancing act. I so wish they'd move here or at least into a care facility, but then I'd have to monitor that place too. Oy... for both of us.
My Two Cents
There are many fine nurses in this country, my sister among them. All are overworked, underpaid, not nearly respected enough, though often manning the front lines, providing critical quality medical care that saves lives.
As far as I can tell, none of them work at the Boca Raton Community Hospital.
Here's how I know.
911
Wednesday I got one of those calls. From my parent's Boca condo. While I'd been at physical therapy an ambulance had taken my father to the hospital with chest pain.
Uh oh. Dad's 93, has a pacemaker, this can't be good.
I called the phone number they gave me, which surprisingly went directly to his room. Mom answered, shaken but calm. He was stable, they didn't think it was a heart attack.
So why was he in a room?
BECAUSE CHEST PAIN IS AN AUTOMATIC TICKET TO STAY.
Given his age and history they'd admitted him for 24-hour observation and to get full medical attention until he was cleared. (That sentence is the key to this story. Remember it).
Hospital Hi-jinx
Mom would sleep in his room, a double with only one bed. "They're looking for a cot for me" she said.
Did I mention Mom's 86, three-quarters blind, has multiple health problems? Sleeping on a cot could turn her into a patient, or worse.
THEN WHY DIDN'T SHE TAKE A TAXI HOME?
She told me they didn't know where the other bed was for that room. Or where any beds were, for that matter.
BUSY HOSPITALS DO NOT HAVE A SURPLUS OF BEDS SITTING AROUND WAITING FOR UNQUALIFIED APPLICANTS. A SPECIAL BED FOR YOUR MOM DEPRIVES AN ADMITTED PATIENT OF ONE.
Plus, though Dad had been warned not to get out of bed without their help, nobody had come --or answered the call button-- for the past two hours.
She'd walked Dad to the bathroom twice, rolling his IV stand along. Remember, he's 93 with a pacemaker. Did I mention he also has seizure issues, two replaced hips, is almost totally deaf?
SO THE BLIND WOMAN FOUND THE BATHROOM?
And did I also mention Mom's not only near-blind but has shunts in her brain, severe arthritis and uses a walker?
SOUNDS WAY TOO FRAIL TO BE LIVING WITH AN OLD MAN IN BOCA RATON.
The nursing station had been given all that information. Apparently the story wasn't good enough to hold their attention. Well, you know, old people. Hello? It's Florida!
Remote Rescue Attempts
Fyi, I am the primary parental caregiver in our extended family. FROM ANOTHER STATE? WHOSE EYES ARE ON YOUR FRAIL, INDEPENDENT PARENTS? But I'm recovering from rotator cuff surgery (with my own hospital horror stories) and not allowed to fly yet.
So I jumped on the phone. First I'd make sure they were more comfortable and better looked after, then I'd call their Primary and Cardiologist.
I called the hospital, got connected to the nurse's station on Dad's floor. I told the woman who answered I'm The Parent's daughter, I have HIPAA clearance to manage their care, it's in the chart, can we discuss a few things?
WHY WOULD YOU ASSUME THE PERSON WHO ANSWERED THE PHONE WAS THE PERSON YOU NEEDED TO SPEAK TO?
We talked for 10 frustrating minutes, she couldn't answer any of my questions. Because, she finally admitted, she's an aide, fills water pitchers, makes beds, answers phones, empties bedpans, like that.
Incredulous, I asked, "Why didn't you tell me that right away?"
"Oh you're so interesting to talk to and you know so much I thought I might learn something."
Nurse Ratchet & The Coocoos
White-knuckling the phone I requested in a deathly quiet voice to speak to my father's NURSE. A woman got on the phone, "Yes? Who's this? What do you want?"
INEXCUSABLE AND TOTALLY LACKING CUSTOMER SERVICE SKILLS (I'M WITH YOU ON THIS ONE).
"Hello, I'm The Parent's daughter," I said politely. "I'm calling from Philadelphia. I'm concerned about them and hoped to...."
"OH LORD! What do they want NOW???" she snarled, with unmasked disgusted impatience. Yes, snarled.
REALLY INEXCUSABLE. NEEDS EDUCATION.
Big mistake, lady. Big. Mistake.
"I'LL TELL YOU WHAT *I* WANT," I snapped out each word like a drill sergeant, "I WANT TO TALK TO YOUR SUPERVISOR. NOW!"
"Oh, that's not necessary, Miss, I'll help you." She got real nice, real fast, "Whatever you want to know, I'll tell you."
I asked for an update on his current status and next steps. I also explained Mom's need for a real bed, not a cot, and gave a brief overview of her medical issues.
I REALLY CAN'T LET THIS ONE GO. SHE SHOULD HAVE GONE HOME TO HER OWN SPECIAL BED. ESPECIALLY IF AS YOU SAID, DAD DIDN'T HAVE A HEART ATTACK AND WAS JUST THERE FOR OBSERVATION.
"Oh noo, we can't take care of her too," she whined. "Your father takes so much medication (3 pills twice a day, a real triathlon). And I'm trying to find her a bed."
THREE PILLS AT HOME , WHAT ABOUT WHILE ADMITTED?
"You don't have to take care of my mother, just get her the bed, please," I said. "They use hospital beds at home, she can't sleep without one.
WAY TOO DEMANDING.
"Also, it's 3 o'clock," I added. "They've been there since the morning, she's stressed out, she should lie down and rest. In. A. Bed.
"And really, someone should check on them, she can't care for my father herself, he needs skilled help."
THE HOSPITAL SHOULD HAVE RECOMMENDED SOME HOME HEALTH AGENCIES FROM THE AREA.
Here it comes....
Hospital and Grille
"Okay. Fine," Florence Nightenmare replied with an exasperated sigh. "But can you call back in an hour or two? I'm eating lunch."
INDEFENSIBLE. SHE SHOULD HAVE TAKEN YOUR NUMBER AND CALLED YOU BACK. SO SHOULD THE CHARGE NURSE.
Yep. Eating lunch.
She was on duty. The floor was almost empty HOW DO YOU KNOW? YOU WEREN'T THERE. ARE YOU RELYING ON THE TESTIMONY OF A BLIND WOMAN?(hey, Florida's almost empty in August), AS A FLORIDIAN I CAN TELL YOU THAT'S JUST NOT TRUE! just a handful of patients. A cardiac floor. Patients with possibly life-threatening conditions.
Okay, I guess that's why she needed to keep up her own strength.
I sat for a moment in total disbelief, staring at the phone. "Hello?" she said, "Hello, you there?"
"Uh, yes." I was still thinking, what, my mother should fall and break a hip doing your job while you sit on your ass and eat lunch?
MOM SHOULD BE HOME!!!!
"Could you just hand me off to the Charge Nurse please." A moment on hold.
"She's eating too. Call back in a couple hours." Click.
Whoa. Okay. If the Charge Nurse (the boss) wouldn't put down her fork, I was really SOL. And my parents were in potential danger.
Dr. Oops
There's more. Dad's pacemaker is also a diagnostic tool. It can be "interrogated" to learn if any "events" have been recorded. You know, like heart attacks.
Nobody had done that.
I called the ("renowned") cardiologist to see why not. He hadn't thought of it. But, hey, good idea. He'd tell the nurses to contact that service. When I mentioned they might be too busy eating, he sighed, "Not again. I'll call the director."
IT'S A ROUTINE PROCEDURE CONDUCTED IN THE CARDIOLOGIST'S OFFICE. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN DONE ON FOLLOW-UP.
I took a pain pill. Two, actually.
When I called the room an hour later, Mom was resting in a bed that had miraculously appeared. (I asked if she'd found any crumbs in it). Dad's pacemaker had been 'queried,' he was being wheeled out for more tests.
Who's On First?
While Dad was out of the room another nurse came in to take blood. She wanted my mother's. "I'm not the patient, my husband's getting some tests, can you come back?"
"Look, Lady, I got orders to take blood in this room, so roll up your sleeve." Mom got a free blood test. She doesn't have cardiac issues, but she's a diabetic.
TRULY INCONCEIVABLE! THAT IDIOT SHOULD BE FIRED IMMEDIATELY.
We started wondering if they'd come in and give Dad insulin. Which could kill him. I warned Mom to demand the name of any meds before he took them -- if she didn't recognize the name, he should refuse it and have the doctor called.
PUTTING AN OLD BLIND WOMAN IN CHARGE OF DAD'S MEDS?
NO PRESSURE HERE...
STFU!
On Dad's return he was in some pain and had to pee. They pushed the call button repeatedly for 20 minutes but no one came.
Finally an indignant voice yelled over the intercom, "Stop buzzing us! You're supposed to call your nurse directly. Her phone number's on the white board across from the bed."
Mom lost it. About time, too. "I'M BLIND!" she screamed. "My husband needs help and I can't see the phone number or dial the phone! Get someone in here, please!"
I AGREE, POOR SERVICE.
Mission accomplished. Help was sent. All calmed down. Two dinners arrived. Heart healthy? Sugar free? Surely you jest. Meatloaf, mashed potatoes and gravy... bonus, cake and ice cream.
TWO DINNERS ARRIVED? THEY FINALLY THOUGHT ABOUT YOUR MOM! NEVER MIND WHAT THEY SERVED.
Oy.
The doctors showed up early evening. Dad would be fine, they wanted him to stay the night and be monitored, have the staff keep an eye on him. (I told Mom to order a pizza for the nurses so they wouldn't be hungry later if he needed them).
Did I mention Dad wasn't hooked up to a heart monitor? Never. That no one had taken his vitals for hours?
AGAIN, RELYING ON THE TESTIMONY OF AN OLD BLIND WOMAN. YOU WEREN'T THERE.
The Last, Unbelievable Straw
3 AM. Mom and Dad were sleeping peacefully. Then a tap, tap, tap on Dad's shoulder. A dream, he thought. Ignored it. Again, tap, tap, tap, and a little shake of his shoulder. "Mr. I, wake up."
Groggily he tried to focus on the figure standing there. "What is it?
Wait for it ... here it comes ...
"Sir, do you have a Living Will?
That woke him right up. "Huh? What? Am I dying???"
"Do you want heroic measures? Do you want to be shocked? Intubated? Resuscitated? Or would you prefer to die?"
"Who the hell ARE you?? Why did you wake me? Am. I. Dying???"
"You seem fine." Well, what a comfort. "But we can't find your Living Will, we don't know what the day nurses did with it. It has to be in your chart."
INEXCUSABLE. DUMB. LACK OF ATTENTION TO DETAIL ON THE HOSPITAL'S PART. THEY SHOULD HAVE CALLED AND WOKEN UP THE DAY NURSE AT 3:00AM.
Good old Dad. "I'll make you a deal. I won't die tonight and I won't call the president of the hospital tomorrow. Just help me to the bathroom and take out this IV. It's been in wrong all day, it's empty and was supposed to come out hours ago."
INTRAVENOUS ACCESS GETS DISCONTINUED ON DISCHARGE.
She took the deal.
Fortunately, Mom slept through that incident. Or there might have been two heart attacks.
Aftermath
Dad's echo-cardiogram (and Mom's blood work) were normal. He was sent home.
The chest pain came from muscle spasms around the pacemaker. Which I'd suggested to both doctors was probably the case, especially since he wasn't pale, sweating, nauseated, the pain wasn't radiating ... all indicators of potential heart attack.
WHERE DID YOU GET YOUR MEDICAL DEGREE?
He was, in fact, eating breakfast while complaining about the pain.
I told them the same thing happened when my folks were staying here last year. No other symptoms, just muscle pain in his chest.
Here in Philly he was in and out of the ER in 3 hours with the same correct diagnosis.
WELL I GUESS IF YOU WERE IN BOCA YOU COULD HAVE PREVENTED THE WHOLE FIASCO.
If the Boca ER had checked his pacemaker (NOT AN EMERGENCY PROCEDURE. NO PACEMAKER REPS HANGING AROUND THE ER WAITING TO TEST THEM), taken some blood and done the echo-cardiogram, they could have sent him home too. Saving how much money???
And the nurses on the 2nd Floor could have eaten lunch without interruption til they burst.
A NURSE WORKS 7A-7P AND DOESN'T EAT LUNCH UNTIL 3:00PM? GIVE A NURSE A BREAK! (SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE TOLD YOU SHE WAS EATING)
Moral of the Story
America's health care crisis isn't just about lack of adequate insurance. Our entire heath care system needs a total overhaul to insure there's no lack of competent care.
The best health coverage in the world won't protect you from incompetence and stupidity.
ONE INCIDENT IN ONE HOSPITAL, AND YOU ARE CONDEMNING ALL OF US.
Mom and Dad were lucky. We can laugh about it now. Most people can't. Dead people definitely can't.
Plus, you seem to feel patients should not participate in their own care or be so impudent as to request their nurses' attention.
My mother may be nearly blind and she may be elderly but she's not stupid. Nor is my father, who can see 20/20, was not medicated (i.e. out of it) and obviously communicated whatever she couldn't see for herself, including the location of the bathroom and the lack of a heart monitor. She can hear and see enough to know when someone comes to take vitals or give meds.
I asked politely and reasonably for a real bed, it was a double room after all, clearly one was available somewhere. Spouses are routinely allowed to stay with the patient as you must know, and meals provided.
My point here, which you seem to have missed, is that my mother helped my father because NO ONE ELSE WAS DOING IT. If they were in their 40's, the lack of adequate, courteous professional attention they got would be equally unacceptable.
I was told the floor was less than half occupied. I know the pacemaker interrogation procedure which was, in fact, done right there in the hospital after all, just as it's done from their home, via telephone. If an IV is empty and/or infiltrated, something should be done, *before* discharge.
Prevention and attention are invaluable tools in supporting quality health care and keeping costs down. Giving high fat meals to a cardiac patient is absurd and you know it. As is berating, ignoring or waking him for *paperwork*.
My extensive medical knowledge results from far too many complex medical issues suffered by far too many members of our family, including me. I stay informed, I do research, I participate, I learn. I am also not stupid. And I certainly don't appreciate being upbraided for trying to help my fiercely independent, totally sentient parents in person or from afar, while respecting their wishes.
Have you read the many comments here of others with similar stories? This is not "one incident in one hospital," it's happening all over the country.
Finally (phew), did you not notice or simply ignore my opening, which is 100% sincere:
There are many fine nurses in this country, my sister among them. All are overworked, underpaid, not nearly respected enough, though often manning the front lines, providing critical quality medical care that saves lives.
I had two doctors' appointments this month, both of which I had waited for over a month to get, where I was told when I arrived that "We don't take your insurance any more." One of them was willing to take cash ($175.00) since I was there anyway, but not the other.
Pax in D Minor
Thank you for your reply and,
I see nurse ratched hates your "old blind" parents for being old & blind.
But I've had a similar experience in Texas. If I hadn't been there taking care of my sister while she was in the hospital I don't know how she would have ended up.
For-profit medical care is NOT the way to go. Their interest is in making a larger profit. If it means they cut corners on your care, so be it.
OTOH I've spent quite a bit of time in Canada, have Canadian friends, and am quite familiar with the Canadian system - both as a professional and consumer. It's cheaper and better.
I really don't see what the issue is with health care reform. It seems quite obvious to me we need to do things diferently.
That said, I appreciate that Sally invited me to weigh in. I do NOT appreciate the need to do so. I will address your capitalized comments; the rest speaks for itself. And incidentally, the capitals do make one feel shouted at, even though you hadn’t intended it that way. However, your words, in any size, would have induced the same reaction.
First, let me get one thing out of the way: Mom is hardly a little old blind lady. She is a beautiful, intelligent, educated, completely lucid, if a little emotional, woman with failing eyesight. She can manage her own personal hygiene. For nearly everything else she is understandably dependent on Dad. Going home alone is, and will remain, an impossibility under those circumstances.
So why was he in a room?
BECAUSE CHEST PAIN IS AN AUTOMATIC TICKET TO STAY. >>The pacemaker installed is a state-of-the-art diagnostic tool, one that can be read even long-distance by phone. In this case it was in-house – even easier to facilitate. Had they done so they would have determined immediately that the problem lay not in his heart but in his chest muscle.
THEN WHY DIDN'T SHE TAKE A TAXI HOME? >>See above.
BUSY HOSPITALS DO NOT HAVE A SURPLUS OF BEDS SITTING AROUND WAITING FOR UNQUALIFIED APPLICANTS. A SPECIAL BED FOR YOUR MOM DEPRIVES AN ADMITTED PATIENT OF ONE. >>As Sally mentioned, the hospital census was lower than usual. That in and of itself should have freed up a bed. There were few alternatives: she could not sleep on a cot, she could not sleep in a chair, she could not remain awake overnight and, she could not go home alone. Please note that they did manage to find a bed for her.
SO THE BLIND WOMAN FOUND THE BATHROOM? >>No, the patient found the bathroom with his wife’s assistance. Hospital rooms are hardly lavish, roomy hotel suites.
SOUNDS WAY TOO FRAIL TO BE LIVING WITH AN OLD MAN IN BOCA RATON. >>See above. She is anything but frail. She has just had a series of unfortunate events.
FROM ANOTHER STATE? WHOSE EYES ARE ON YOUR FRAIL, INDEPENDENT PARENTS? >>Get rid of ‘frail’ please. His eyes are on the job, as are her ears.
WHY WOULD YOU ASSUME THE PERSON WHO ANSWERED THE PHONE WAS THE PERSON YOU NEEDED TO SPEAK TO? >>Because if she could offer no information on anything, why was she answering the phone? Because the staff was eating lunch, that’s why.
A woman got on the phone, "Yes? Who's this? What do you want?"INEXCUSABLE AND TOTALLY LACKING CUSTOMER SERVICE SKILLS (I'M WITH YOU ON THIS ONE). >>Whew! We finally agree.
"OH LORD! What do they want NOW???" she snarled, with unmasked disgusted impatience. Yes, snarled.
REALLY INEXCUSABLE. NEEDS EDUCATION. >>Agreed again. Education or termination.
I REALLY CAN'T LET THIS ONE GO. SHE SHOULD HAVE GONE HOME TO HER OWN SPECIAL BED. ESPECIALLY IF AS YOU SAID, DAD DIDN'T HAVE A HEART ATTACK AND WAS JUST THERE FOR OBSERVATION. >>Again, see above. And at that point they didn’t know his diagnosis, just that he had a pacemaker and chest pains. It took an outrageously long time to get the proper diagnosis which, of course, would have been treated and streeted.
THREE PILLS AT HOME , WHAT ABOUT WHILE ADMITTED? >>That one I can’t answer. My assumption is that whoever was on the case wrote for his meds.
WAY TOO DEMANDING. >>We’ve all had demanding patients and yes, they can be PIAs. However, if the time is taken to look under the demanding-ness and see the fear, it explains a lot.
THE HOSPITAL SHOULD HAVE RECOMMENDED SOME HOME HEALTH AGENCIES FROM THE AREA. >>And as we all know, ‘shoulda, woulda, coulda’ don’t count. And I assume that by ‘the hospital’ you’re referring to the overburdened social work staff. I’m sure they prioritized a child beating over this!
"Okay. Fine," Florence Nightenmare replied with an exasperated sigh. "But can you call back in an hour or two? I'm eating lunch."
INDEFENSIBLE. SHE SHOULD HAVE TAKEN YOUR NUMBER AND CALLED YOU BACK. SO SHOULD THE CHARGE NURSE. >>Agreed again. Or how about the nurses eat in shifts, like the rest of us? That way there would be someone in authority to answer the phone and the questions.
She was on duty. The floor was almost empty HOW DO YOU KNOW? YOU WEREN'T THERE. ARE YOU RELYING ON THE TESTIMONY OF A BLIND WOMAN? >>C’mon. Mom may be blind, but she can speak, ask and listen. That was how she knew the census and surmised that getting her a bed would not be a NASA blastoff!
MOM SHOULD BE HOME!!!! >>Again, see above.
IT'S A ROUTINE PROCEDURE CONDUCTED IN THE CARDIOLOGIST'S OFFICE. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN DONE ON FOLLOW-UP. >>Had they waited until the follow-up to interrogate the pacemaker, and had it not been a chest muscle pull, he may not be with us today.
"Look, Lady, I got orders to take blood in this room, so roll up your sleeve." Mom got a free blood test. She doesn't have cardiac issues, but she's a diabetic.
TRULY INCONCEIVABLE! THAT IDIOT SHOULD BE FIRED IMMEDIATELY. >>Again, I agree. But more importantly, did they ever get Dad’s blood? Just looking for an available vein is rather far below the standard of care. And we wonder if, as a diabetic, they checked Mom’s BS. Or by the time it got there, did the lab think it was Dad’s and that it was he who is diabetic? And if so, as Sally said, insulin could have been contraindicated.
PUTTING AN OLD BLIND WOMAN IN CHARGE OF DAD'S MEDS? NO PRESSURE HERE... >>Who said she was ‘in charge?’ As his advocate she was merely protecting him by insuring that he was given the proper medication. See the above paragraph re insulin.
STFU! >>Whew! Hostile.
Mom lost it. About time, too. "I'M BLIND!" she screamed. "My husband needs help and I can't see the phone number or dial the phone! Get someone in here, please!"
I AGREE, POOR SERVICE. >>Well OK then!
TWO DINNERS ARRIVED? THEY FINALLY THOUGHT ABOUT YOUR MOM! NEVER MIND WHAT THEY SERVED. >>First, we all know about dietary in the hospital. Second, Dad should have been on some sort of restricted diet. I suspect it was written for but nobody checked the orders. Second, despite the type and quality of food, by this time they had apparently resigned themselves that Mom would be there so would need to be fed. They just duplicated Dad’s tray. I sense a hint of kindness here. Misguided but kind.
Did I mention Dad wasn't hooked up to a heart monitor? Never. That no one had taken his vitals for hours?
AGAIN, RELYING ON THE TESTIMONY OF AN OLD BLIND WOMAN. YOU WEREN'T THERE. >>See above re Mom’s lucidity. She’s blind, not mentally challenged.
"You seem fine." Well, what a comfort. "But we can't find your Living Will, we don't know what the day nurses did with it. It has to be in your chart."
INEXCUSABLE. DUMB. LACK OF ATTENTION TO DETAIL ON THE HOSPITAL'S PART. THEY SHOULD HAVE CALLED AND WOKEN UP THE DAY NURSE AT 3:00AM. >>Whoo-hoo, now you’re talking. Completely inexcusable.
Good old Dad. "I'll make you a deal. I won't die tonight and I won't call the president of the hospital tomorrow. Just help me to the bathroom and take out this IV. It's been in wrong all day, it's empty and was supposed to come out hours ago."
INTRAVENOUS ACCESS GETS DISCONTINUED ON DISCHARGE. >>Not if it’s infiltrated and the bag is empty.
WHERE DID YOU GET YOUR MEDICAL DEGREE? >>That is unfair, and not just in Sally’s defense. She pointed out all the factors that would indicate a heart attack. Anyone can find them on line. Many of us have been through heart attacks, themselves, family members and/or friends. Plus, unfortunately Sally has had a plethora of medical experiences dating back to her childhood and she, too, is educated and lucid. Add that to the fact that Dad had suffered this identical incident before so she knew what to look for.
WELL I GUESS IF YOU WERE IN BOCA YOU COULD HAVE PREVENTED THE WHOLE FIASCO. >>Well I guess if she hadn’t had three surgeries in the past year and wasn’t in the process of recovering from the third she might have been able to leap on a plane.....
If the Boca ER had checked his pacemaker (NOT AN EMERGENCY PROCEDURE. NO PACEMAKER REPS HANGING AROUND THE ER WAITING TO TEST THEM), >>”Scuse me? He was admitted on cardiology service. That doesn’t require a pacemaker rep.
And the nurses on the 2nd Floor could have eaten lunch without interruption til they burst.
A NURSE WORKS 7A-7P AND DOESN'T EAT LUNCH UNTIL 3:00PM? GIVE A NURSE A BREAK! (SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE TOLD YOU SHE WAS EATING) >>Right, that was bad PR. But in my life nurses eat in shifts so that at least one can be available for patients. This is not rocket science.
The best health coverage in the world won't protect you from incompetence and stupidity.
ONE INCIDENT IN ONE HOSPITAL, AND YOU ARE CONDEMNING ALL OF US. >>’Scuse me again. First, one incident? Second, we are not all being condemned. The egregious errors were brought out, and very timely, too, since we’re in the middle of the great health care debate.
Look, it’s a tough job but you have to love it to do it. That, plus we deal with the most basic needs of sick people. Things happen. But you may be pleased to know that Boca Bar & Grille has already responded with great apologies and promises to clean up their act. If that’s what we accomplished, sobeit. And any time you want to take that big chip off your shoulder, please feel free to send it to me.
My mom was in Sarasota Memorial Hospital last summer and I learned that if I was not there everyday at 6:30 am, I would never see a doctor and truly know what the heck was going on!
Social Services should have been involved in your parent's case, to arrange for care of your mom, and to address the other care issues you had. Good luck!
I do feel that everyone who works in FL in particular should be required to have age-specific sensitivity training. And though this doesn't apply to your parents, who seem to have been quite patient and reasonable, there is a flip side to that--some of the elderly population get the idea they have some right to be rude or even downright aggressive, and that's not right either. All that said, I found a couple of these comments completely inappropriate and condescending. Sally, you and your sister (jfernrn, right?) said it best--old or not, they are people with needs, concerns, rights, and individual circumstances. Not every problem can be solved in the same way.
Then they burned her esophagus and didn't acknowledge it, trying to give her oral pain meds which she couldn't swallow...then the Dr decided she had some sort of stomach tumor because her stomach area was distended. If not for a fight I witnessed between the nurse and Dr...the nurse insisting that Mom needed to be catherized (she did), she would have also gone through unnecessary explorative surgery.
They then overdosed her on IV pain meds. I walked in and she asked me why I brought Dr. Kevorkian with me and why was I wearing a gold crown. Then she asked me if she was hallucinating. Prior to "treatment" my mother was a brilliant, lucid, logical woman who as soon as all of the meds wore off called me and demanded that I take her out of there as quickly as possible.
The first day my husband and I were at this hospital, a man who moments before lost his wife, warned us to take her out of this place.
We removed her and switched her care to a more local hospital in Long Island ...it was an improvement but all in all her last nine months of life was a nightmare until we finally connected with hospice.
It's too bad that they were the only humane organization that we encountered at a time when she should have had the best care. I still live with the guilt that her last days on earth were a painful, chaotic mess.
LandP, good to be back, thank you, but would have preferred better subject matter,
Sirentia, thank you too and so sorry for your horror story. We really should compile them all and send to the White House.
tallulah, so sorry about your mother, oy, too many stories! We have some alternate situaitons set up, plus the hospital will treat them *very* well from now on...
Cathy, what a kind and thoughtful offer to a total stranger! You are in line for a halo. I'm sorry you've had your own bad experiences too.
askangel, you speak the truth just as does every nurse who's responded here... nurses are supposed to TAKE CARE of patients, not feel bothered by them.
Iamthewords, what a horror story! A hospital exposing many patients to someone with a staph infection (and vice versa) is horrendous.
akarsh, sorry to know our alternatives are more limited. I agree, we all have to worry about "the next time."
Cassiopia, I do the same, take medical and other info with me everywhere and have convinced my parents to do it too. Somebody didn't pay attention.
XJS, she seems like one of the nurses you might have had. Lack of respect is an outrage.
Katherine, there's a huge perception that Florida medicine is far worse than it should be, especially with so many "customers." We need a cheaper and better solution.
Lisa, that's another problem, the doctors have to see their hospital patients very early so they can then go to their offices and see those patients.
jwsrose, yes, a 24 hour stop re Medicare, but also because their doctor wanted them to be carefully watched. So much for that plan.
Dayna, I have another post coming on the response from the hospital. I LOVE your idea on age-specific sensitivity training. Yes, some elderly become demanding and cranky, but really, considering their problems it most likely comes from fear. My parents are polite and pleasant unless tremendously provoked, as I described. Yes, Judy's my sister. She did say it well, I'm so proud.
Rosalind, I BEG YOU, DO NOT FEEL GUILTY! We are all hostages to The System. Unless we're doctors ourselves, how can we really know what's right or wrong, especially in a hospital with a world class reputation. You mother's last days were spent knowing you loved her enough to do everything humanly possible to find her a safe, peaceful place to go to her rest. Hold on to that idea, Please.
I've worked in hospitals, my husband and a bunch of friends have worked in hospitals, and this would not be tolerated at ANY of them.
It is, unfortunately, not that far out of the ordinary for anything that calls itself a Community Hospital. Sigh.
...from the perspective of health care givers.
I am grateful your parents survived the hospital in Boca. Sadly, it is not an uncommon tale.
Thumbed. How's that shoulder doing, btw? You're staying off that wicked cocaine and not playing tennis, right? ;-D
Carol, your aunt sounds like a gem. I am usually the advocate but being out of commission had to do it from afar. And unless I'd slept there too, I couldn't have prevented the 3am wake up.
Bill, I found during my own hospitalisation that bitch-slapping just makes them stay away. When I used liberal doses of honey, I got all the attention I needed and more. Too bad ass-kissing is a prerequisite for getting the care they're paid to give anyway. Btw, no cocaine! Freaky's special chocolate Demerol.
A thousand apologies for my hostile douchbaggery. Would you accept PMS as a defense? Me neither. You didn't have to respond to the ravings of a lunatic nurse, but I'm glad you did.
Of course people are posting their horror stories here, Sally has provided an ideal environment for them. When we sit around a campfire we tell ghost stories right? For every horror story here, I have 99 success stories. I wouldn't accept 99% in the airline industry, but in healthcare it's pretty good.
I'm sure your parents are as wonderful as you described them and I would have defended mine just as vociferously. But (I can't help defending myself here) it was Sally's description of your parents and their medical conditions that led me to believe that they were old and maybe, dare I say it? Frail. I also feel the need to defend my position on advocating for the elderly from far, far away. I love old people. I love them so much I work in a building full of them. I love to hear their stories about times long ago, how they met spouses, survived the Holocaust and raised wonderful children. I talk to them, to their doctors, to their family members. I assess their needs and help them get what they need, home health aides or Medicare nursing visits. I can't do everything though. I can't make important decisions. Sometimes I have a hard time convincing adult children that for Mom's safety and well-being, it's time to consider assisted living. You want your parents to "age in place" independently. It's a nice idea, but some parents are declining in place. You have two parents living alone whom you said "take care of each other". Your story made it clear that one cannot do without the other. That would make me anxious about my parents.
That's my two more cents. I picked a fight with two girls who were bigger than I and I lost (I wasn't fighting fair anyway). I would be remiss in my mea culpa if I did not mention my admiration for the writing skills of both of you. I leave you with the last word. I'm getting off this crazy train!
I have also said this over and over: our parents are of sound mind, independent means and quite definite in their desire to live independently. Are you possibly the only person here who thinks we haven't tried over and over to talk them into assisted living?
We can't force them. So we gather safety nets as best we can. And if we have to ask politely for a little extra consideration, so what? I was a lot more polite to those disinterested, rude nurses than they were to the patient. Read my next post and see what the hospital, their president and patient advocate have to say.
Yes, hooray for Mr. President. It’s always best to take a grievance to the top instead of through the ranks. That’s where the buck stops.
So very many comments advocated for a patient advocate. I think we all know where we stand. Particularly since there seem to be so many horror stories out there.
I agree that nursing has lost its focus. I love, love patient care. Sick or not so sick, young or old, no matter what, I love patient care. And as we’ve all said, you have to love it to do it. And I am good at what I do, she said humbly. But the amount of paperwork in this litigious society hampers the efficient carrying-out of my job. I am not defending rudeness or incompetence. I am merely saying that we have lots to do in addition to patient care. That negatively impacts the patients. What a shame.
In the old days, we had to rise and offer a doctor our chair and shuffle along being handmaidens to The Great Ones. We’ve evolved. The docs need the nurses and for the most part they have figured it’s better if everyone is part of the team. And yes, the hissy-fit throwers will have consequences. I’d like to think that none of this impacts patient care but sadly it does. That’s where competent, caring nurses come in.
Yes, nurses work long and demanding shifts; organizational skills are very necessary. Yes, docs have too many patients and there aren’t enough hours in the day, but please try to believe that they do give it their best shot – most of them anyway. Long ago in another life I had a doc boss who said he’d gone into medicine to help people and the system turned him into a businessman. This is pretty universal which has to be disappointing. Oh, well.
Different people, different personalities, just like life. Yes, we should all learn from our mistakes. Let us hope that this contact with Mr. President is the beginning of a positive learning process.