"If you can't tell me what you want, I can't serve you. It's up to you. If you can't read, if you can't say the word cheese, how can I communicate with you - and why should I have to bend? I got a business to run." Joey Vento, owner, Geno's Steaks

If you think "We know them when we see them' is bad, you've never been to Philly. The debate reached new heights a few years ago and is still raging. Sometimes quietly, sometimes not.

No, we haven't passed bigoted and probably illegal hate legislation. Here, it's more about business than politics. And one man's courageous --or outrageous, you decide-- stand.

First, no matter what Tea Baggers or Arizona say, America is a country of immigrants. Few places have known that fact better or longer than New York, Boston and Philadelphia. Few places have treated immigrants better, or worse, than those cities.

America is also a country of individualists. Eccentrics. Characters. Some you love. Some you love to hate. Many of our locally grown here have come out of South Philly.

South Philly was, and still is, primarily an Italian neighborhood. Paison central. Close knit, territorial, more than a little inbred, enormously proud of its Italian heritage. Mobbed up? Sure. Politically connected? you bet.

If you're running for any office in the land, you better eat at Pat's or Geno's.

Ahem... wonder if she asked for moose meat?

And over at Pat's... (See, this is why I'm a Pat's girl).

Does South Philly have borders? Only other Philadelphia neighborhoods.

Immigrants still flock to South Philly, many from Itality but a growing number from Asian and especially Hispanic countries. The streets are bustling and lively, housing cheap and plentiful, people, for the most part, mind their own business. And frankly, with so many Italian restaurants per square foot, lots of busboys, dishwashers and janitors are needed.

From a Geno's t-shirt. 

American Englitch, South Philly Style
Sout Philly is solid, flag-flying  American to the core. But it has a language all it's own. Philadelphia is pronounced Fluffya. You don't say "hey," you say "YO!" There's the ever popular youse, Philly-speak for "y'all".

If you're thirsty, get a drink of wooder. If it's cold in the house, close the windez. And by the way, what schtreet do you live on?

Make no mistake though, even if it sounds strange to the rest of the country, Sout Fluffyans speak Englitch and are proud of it.

If you've seen the movie "Rocky" or the more recent "Invincible" you got a realistic slice of South Philly life.

Speaking of slice, South Philly is also all about Italian food.

Sure, Philadelphia has world class restaurants of every possible ethnic and epicurean style. Celebs flock to them. But they go more often to "the corner."

 Which wife is that?

Where they can get our world famous People Food. Soft pretzels. Pizza. Tasty Kakes. Hoagies. And most of all, best of the best, cheese steaks. All courtesy of South Philly. Loved by top chefs everywhere.

Geno's                                                              Pat's

 Neither apparently not very fattening... HA!

Cheese Wit?
Philly folks, whether they live in South Philly or on the posh Main Line are typically loyalists when it comes to Sout' Philly's two top diagonally placed cheesesteak stands, Pat's and Geno's.

You're either a Pat's person or a Geno's person. As I said, I'm a Pat's girl, through and through. My son is a Geno's guy. My husband's that rare breed who just gets in the shortest line.

There you go, two more things that make America great. Freedom of Choice. Opportunity. There's another on display at that corner these days: Freedom of Expression. 

~~~~~THE SIGN~~~~~

Maybe you heard about the Philly brouhaha over a sign (see photo above) --This is AMERICA ... WHEN ORDERING SPEAK ENGLISH -- put up by Geno's colorful owner, Joey Vento.

Joey V was born in South Philly. His parents were Italian immigrants and had trouble learning English. But at least they tried. And managed to get by. Joey thinks every immigrant should try too.

I can't say I disagree. Whenever we travel to foreign countries we try to learn a few critical phrases. "Where's the bathroom?" "Can you help me?" "Excuse me." Most people in those countries have been responsive and kind, applauding and encouraging our efforts.

Even in Englitch, you still have to know how to order.

Even more to Joey V's point, I've lived in foreign countries and made sure I learned enough to get around. So if I can order 'Pepsi con ghiaccio' in Rome or "pommes frites" in Paris, an Hispanic immigrant living in South Philly can learn to say "cheese wit" if he wants a steak sandwich with onions and cheese Whiz at Geno's. (Don't gag. Trust me, it's heaven).

Philadelphia's Commission on Human Relations filed a discrimination complaint against Geno's for that sign. They lost. Obviously they needed Oprah on their side. Fail.

As far as I know, Geno's hasn't turned anybody away. Joey Vento is simply expressing a widespread and growing frustration with immigrants --especially illegal ones-- who can't or won't learn English.

I think Joey's sign is over the top. But the sentiment resonates with anyone who lives anywhere in America among a large foreign-born, foreign-speaking population.

It isn't rocket science, it's common sense: if you move to America and plan to live your life here, you should learn to speak English. Period. Still, we all should give you a chance --and some help-- to learn. Whoever you are.

Baseball Signs
During baseball season in 2006 Son and I went to "the corner" for some cheesesteaks.The triangle was packed with people and cars. Okay, the sign had just become national news, but it was 4 PM on a Thursday afternoon. WTF?

Then we caught on. New York and New Jersey license plates. Mets shirts. Phillies shirts. The game was over and the crowds wanted to eat and debate.

"It's a disgrace," one man said to my son after asking, "Which is the place with the sign?" then heading for Geno's much longer line, camera in hand.

"Yo, youse seen da sign? Dem people should learn howta speak Englitch," came, ironically, from another fine Philly American.

I'm beginning to think phone menus in Philadelphia should offer three options.

For English, press one.
For Spanish, press two.
For Sout' Philly Englitch, press tree.

One final note. I took a couple of quizzes on the subject.

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?
Your Linguistic Profile:
40% General American English
35% Yankee
15% Dixie
5% Upper Midwestern
0% Midwestern

What, no Sout Fluffya?

Here's the jackpot quiz:  How American Are You?