Stories From A Life

Been there. Done that. Writing about it.

Sally Swift

Sally Swift
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA
June 14
VP, Repartee
Swift Retorts
sally: a journey, a venture, an expression of feeling, an outburst, a quip, a wisecrack ... me


Editor’s Pick
JUNE 11, 2010 11:39AM

Immigration, Englitch, Cheese Steaks and Baseball


"If you can't tell me what you want, I can't serve you. It's up to you. If you can't read, if you can't say the word cheese, how can I communicate with you - and why should I have to bend? I got a businessRead full post »

JUNE 4, 2010 10:00AM

Defending Israel, Reality Check

Why is it whenever Israel undertakes any kind of defensive offense, its actions are immediately condemned? Around the world, controversy rages over Israel, Iran, Gaza, Turkey, the Middle East.
But always from a safe distance, relying on overblown propaganda and clever PR. PontificatRead full post »

Jodie Foster, Penn Commencement 2006, Michael Bryant/Inquirer  

"Behind every success is endeavor. Behind endeavor, ability. Behind ability, knowledge. Behind knowledge, a seeker." Mark Twain

It's commencement season. I thought things would have changed from four years ago when our… Read full post »



 ... ... ... ... ... ... Read full post »

satc2 2 
Craig Blankenhorn – © MMIX New Line Productions, Inc

"... we have come a long way. No question. Definitely. But it's not because of 'Sex and the City.' It's because of what real women have done in real lives, not on TV sets." Susie Bright

Just when my brain is
Read full post »

cancer bitch
 Our current t-shirts, copping some attitude.

My niece Karen has cancer. So does her son Alex (a different kind). Last year, on her birthday, she received devastating news -- Alex had grown more eye tumors and was in danger of losing his sight. Some birthday present for a loving mother
Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
MAY 14, 2010 10:31AM

Original Family Values: Sex, Drugs, Bigotry, Fear, Lies

Advertising reflects popular culture, ideas, prejudices. It also helps define and validate them. The rules are still pretty much the same. Identify a fad or a need, position your product to support it. Then sell it with sex, greed, fear or loathing.

It apparently started in biblical times.

Read full post »

Philadelphia Inquirer

"What have they done to you, my poor child?" Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Three dead children. Not taken by war or terrorist bombs or gang violence. Not kidnapped. Not murdered. But. Not White. Hispanic. Poor. Official cause of death: suffocation. Real cause of dea
Read full post »



"Hope sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible." Helen Keller 


Our family's had more than its share of heartache, but we've also been blessed with strength and courage beyond the beyond. Especially Mom.

I won't be with her
Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
APRIL 29, 2010 3:54PM

Assisted Life, Assisted Death, If You Knew David

Debate assisted suicide all you want. Make your theoretical arguments, your moral and ethical objections, parse the symantics. Knock yourself out with self-righteous claims about right and wrong. Unless you've been there, god forbid, deep inside the pain and suffering and despair, you really don'tRead full post »

Editor’s Pick
APRIL 19, 2010 4:33PM

My Intimate Moments With A HUGE Sports Star, Was It Tiger?

"There's no damn business like show business -- you have to smile to keep from throwing up." Billie Holiday

He's as big as it gets. Bigger than George Clooney. The Boss. Madonna. Bigger even than Barney. Letterman mocked him in a monologue, so you know he's important (video below).Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
APRIL 14, 2010 12:49PM

Trauma! Mercy, Miami Medical, Not George Clooney's ER


It's no secret I'm a longtime, loyal, committed ER fan. Yes, the series is over, but we'll always have reruns. Except ... Not. So. Fast. ER has been pulled from TV, leaving me jonesing for a solid, watchable medical drama.

The pickings are slim.

(Okay, in the beginning
Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
APRIL 9, 2010 11:50AM

Holocaust Remembrance Day, No Tea Party


"When fascism comes to America it will be wrapped in a flag and carrying a cross." Sinclair Lewis

I had an idea, so I put my gag reflex on hold and Google'd "tea party" to see if I was right. And there they were in all their self-righteous "I'm ARead full post »

Editor’s Pick
APRIL 7, 2010 10:06AM

Abuse, Accusations, Denials, Sex, Tap-Dancing: Vatican Idol



"Father, can I talk to you about becoming a nun?"

"Certainly, my child, come into the rectory and take off your clothes."

"Father, have you molested young teenage girls?"

"Such a harsh term, Bishop. They look up to me. Especially on their knees."

"Well, thank go
Read full post »

APRIL 4, 2010 12:54AM

My iPad "Friend"

(graphic obviously added by me)

I know little about the iPad except what David Pogue, a few techie friends and some of you have told me. At first --and tenth-- glance, it seems a bit like a Blackberry on steroids.

Computer, web browser, phone, iPod, TV, GPS, Bluetooth, vibrator, e-Reader, emaiRead full post »

APRIL 2, 2010 1:36PM

The Pope's Past As Prologue?


"Evil when we are in its power is not felt as evil but as a necessity, or even a duty." Simone Weil

It's Passover. Easter. Holocaust Remembrance Month. A time to celebrate, commemorate, honor. And for some, also a time to bury memories of dishonor.

When Joseph Ratzinger became Pope Bened
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Paul Newman, No Failure To Communicate With Me  

Once they were this hot. Smokin. Some still are. But, well, time happens. Paparazzi do too.

You loved them. You idolized them. You dreamed about them. You wanted them. You wanted to be them. You wanted them to
Read full post »

MARCH 31, 2010 10:06AM

Passover With Lady Gaga

lady gg
Is she or isn't she?...
Lots of celebrities are Jewish. Lots aren't. It shouldn't matter. But somehow it does. Passover is one of those times.
Passover is about seminal events in ancient history, important to anyone who practices any Western religion. As aRead full post »
Sundown on Monday, March 29, 2010 begins the Jewish holiday of Passover. It recounts the ancient Israelites' escape from slavery in Egypt, culminating in Moses receiving the Ten Commandments. There's a growing movement of people who claim the Exodus never happened.

Those who c
Read full post »
Editor’s Pick
MARCH 26, 2010 12:01PM

The Perfect Two-Fer, How to Save Money & Embarrass Your Kids


Raising a family in today's tough economic climate isn't easy. Guess what? It's never been easy, except for the rich. In our family we have The Legend of Mrs. Swift as guidance.

So, herein I present the Savings Stylings of my late mother-in law. They are all 100 perRead full post »

Editor’s Pick
MARCH 21, 2010 9:24PM

Fess Parker Gave Me Hope, A Hero and A Coonskin Cap


My childhood was sadly lacking in heroes. Or even kind, decent men. Our father was a disturbed, angry alcoholic. A few nice uncles maybe, not often seen. My mother's own loving father more than fit the bill, but diabetes and a bad heart condition kept him from filling theRead full post »

Editor’s Pick
MARCH 19, 2010 10:08AM

The Psychopath's Guide to Child Rearing

psycho kids

 A 12-Step Program To Manage Your Annoying Little Brats

1. Tell them early and often about their birth, sparing no detail.
Show the video if you have one. Over and over. Especially at their birthday parties. Make sure they know how much and how long you suffered to
Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
MARCH 17, 2010 2:50AM

My Lucky Breasts

lucky breasts

"Women agonize over cancer; we take as a personal threat the lump in every friend's breast." Martha Weinman Lear

In our family, Cancer Awareness Month comes 12 times a year. In our country, cancer can be disasterous because universal health care is on the bubble. I'm stuck in the
Read full post »

MARCH 15, 2010 12:34AM

Karen Does Chemo ***UPDATED UPDATE

***UPDATED UPDATE (see bottom for links to my stories about Karen and our family)

Day 2...
The New Karen, with Straight Hair, Cute as a Button

Hey, I have a passel of married lady relatives in Israel who wear wigs, I'm an expert. I dare you to tell the difference! (From… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
MARCH 11, 2010 4:14PM

Size Matters: Does This Penis Make My Ass Look Big?


An alarming number of Internet marketers seem to think I want a bigger penis. Well, first, I'm a woman. I haven't got one. Though I guess these maniacal supersize spammers hope I'll pass their messages along to someone who does.

Right. "Here honey, try these penis extension pills."

Any woman
Read full post »

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