It started when I was a thirteen-year-old high school freshman. I remember the exact day, in  fact.  I was in health class, taught by Mr. Carr, who was also the soccer coach and, apropos, a weird health nut. He was always extolling the virtues of wheat germ.  He thought fruit wa… Read full post »

 Sometimes, you’ll read my blog and wonder, is the “I” her? Is she the “me”?  Often I don’t say one way or another . But this time, I’ll say it - the I is me, it is me talking to you.

I had a dream.  It was… Read full post »

uh oh, there's toilet paper stuck to my shoe!

Pundits are going crazy over - get this - Obama bowing as he met the Emperor of Japan.  Apparently, none of the pundits has ever stepped foot off American soil, nor have they read a book, nor do they… Read full post »

 She went to bed energized; enervated for the tasks of the following day.  Make coffee.  Read mail.  Pay bills.  Go to store, get milk, get bread.  Maybe, maybe wine (but maybe not). Go to post office.   Gym?

Yes, gym. She would work out.… Read full post »

 The symphony  The h’s mom is in town.  This is a building trip; building ties with the little one, whose school is having a Grandparent’s Day, and building bridges with the h.  This past summer at the lake house there was not one, but two… Read full post »

 We went to a wedding this weekend in the wine country.  I haven't had a salary in over 2 years and I work 18 hour days and not long ago my best friend's brain tried to explode out of her head and rampage around the country and… Read full post »

Recently my 17-year-old step daughter, a senior  in high school  who is as tall, beutiful and graceful as she is intelligent, talented and thoughtful, particpated in a certemony in her school in which different representatives of religions were asked to give a blessing at the start. … Read full post »

 If you've posted a story that fits into the  basket that includes  health care system, insurance, doctors, the need for heath care reform, and you are OK with the story getting wider distribution, please reply to this post in the comments section wtih a link to y… Read full post »

This morning I woke up early, like I been doing ever since I started doing the livestock chores. It's gettin to be high summer  now, and by seven it is warm enough to go without my shirt though I keep it mostly on nowdays just in case someone takes a notion… Read full post »

I want to be the one to wait for you when you are late. I want to be the one that rushes to you when you are waiting.  I want to be the one that smiles at the sight of you, searching for me in a crowded room. I want to… Read full post »

 Ching ching! I am not quite awake, aware it is close to time to get up but still with my eyes closed, drifting in and out of a dream-like state, so when I hear this sound and know on some level exactly what it is… Read full post »

I had a dream, the kind that happens just before you wake up. In my dream the phone rings, and I answer and it is you. 

You speak my name, your voice tipping up in a quesiton, and I know what you are going to say before you say it.… Read full post »

I remember when we met, you were walking through the plant and looked up and smiled at me and my face turned fire red and you said, concerend "Aren't you feeling well?" Unaware that I'd been watching you for weeks, and had even bought a dress in voodoo like anticipation… Read full post »

The place I'm from is settled mostly by French and German immigrants who pushed Indians off the land to farm it, a fact that is reflected in the town names: Millstadt, Germantown, Mascoutah, Cahokia,  Kaskaskia, and Belleville ("The Bee-yoo-tiful  Village! my dad would crow as we drove past… Read full post »

  She hands out business cards with a simple line drawing of her figure, what she thinks of as Pay Per Prick advertising. They always say the same thing.  What are YOU doing here, they always say. So certain their impersonal desire for her is opportunity knocking on her door, if… Read full post »

There was a time when education challenged us to be more, to reach higher than we thought we could, to dare failure because to think, and to succeed at thinking well,  was a noble human endeavor, the wellspring of soaring achievement as well as the source of our considered values, our… Read full post »

M: The fact that you never tried to speak to me about it tells me you weren't really a friend, anyway.

J: There wasn't anything to figure out. I was all about the work, all the time. Since you weren't, I guess your confusion is understandable.  Still irritating, though.… Read full post »

He went out into the barn’s slanty light. He contemplated the shotgun. Sat holding the check and feeling its physicality, thinking, the check will hold me.  It has to. 

Wanting only to go to town, watch the young girls with their tangerine breasts with sunflower seed nipple… Read full post »

 Small, I imagined me-sized houses. I always liked a story that featured a cozy cottage with a fireplace.  Even the witch’s house in the Hansel and Gretel forest didn’t seem frightening to me.  It was more like a consolation prize for having the kind o… Read full post »

Hey didja hear? 

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

Barry, you said what twice.

That's cuz still don't know. WHAT?? WHAT WERE WE SUPPOSED TO HEAR?

Calm down! Just that it's Neilpaul's birthday.

Oh.

I knew that.

Did not.

Did too.

So you're a dick.

Whattaya mean?

You knew it… Read full post »

 Whenever I think of trees, the first one that comes to mind is the tulip tree from the back yard of the house where I grew up, on Stevens Street.  The tulips were all near the top, so that in the summer the tree was a slim green goddess… Read full post »

Yesterday I was scrolling through my contact file, looking for a business acquaintance, and I came across  your name  and  everything inside of me went still.

You died not quite a year ago. But there your contact card sits, the same as it always has.  Every card in my file… Read full post »

1. One of the two of us will be last

2. You can only flush so many times.

3. There are some smells, like some fates, you cannot escape.

4. I can look away so long that I forget I am looking away.

5.… Read full post »