Hey didja hear? 

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

Barry, you said what twice.

That's cuz still don't know. WHAT?? WHAT WERE WE SUPPOSED TO HEAR?

Calm down! Just that it's Neilpaul's birthday.

Oh.

I knew that.

Did not.

Did too.

So you're a dick.

Whattaya mean?

You knew it was his birthday but you didn't wish him a happy birthday, that makes you a dick.

I'm just forgetful.

You're aforgetful dick, is what you are.

No reason for name-calling, you two.

Leave me out of this, I didn't call anyone any names.  I'm the victim here.

A forgetful dick of a victim.

I'm gonna bite your ass if you call me a dick one more time. 

So?

So what?

So it's Neilpaul's birthday..what do we do about that?

I dunno. Wish him a happy one, I guess.

We should have got him a gift. 

We don't know his address to send it to him.

You could have asked.

That would have looked all stalkerish "Hey neilpaul (if that's even your real name) - can you give me your address?"

 He'd give it to you if he knew you were sending him a gift.

Especially if you told him what the gift was. 

I thought it was supposed to be the thought that counts?

Then let's all think about getting him a gift. 

I thought about farting.

You're a dick. 

Hey, one more dick and we have a quorum. 

So?

So then we vote you off the island, you dick.

This isn't an island, it's a step. 

Oh yeah.  Why are we sitting here again?

I'm like Mick, man, I'm just waitin' on a friend....

Maybe Neilpaul will walk by and we can wish him a happy one.

A happy what?

A happy birthday, stupid.

Whose birthday is it?!

Neilpaul's.

Oh, man, I didn't even get him a gift.

You could write something.

Like what?

Like a tribute. That one guy got a tribute. I forget his name. 

The one always showing his ass?

Yeah, that one. 

You want me to write an Assman tribute? 

No, a Neilpaul tribute. 

I wouldn't know what to say.

Well, you could say 'bitch' a lot.He likes that.

You could bullfrog him!

What?

See, that's your problem. You don't READ.  

Readers are leaders!

You sound like that Tony Robbins twit. 

Shut up, dick.

Sure are a lot of dicks around here....dick.

 Someone needs to say happy birthday to Neilpaul!

Who just farted?

You guys are worthless. 

You're a dick.

 At least I don't go around showing my ass. 

 Neither does Neilpaul.

Well, bully for him.  

Look, here he comes now.

That's not him, idiot, that's Cheney!

He's a Dick!

He most certainly is. 

Let's say hi, come on, on the count of three: one, two three HI DICK!

That was great.

Like a present, and it's not even my birthday.

It's Neilpaul's birthday, not yours. 

I just said that.

We still haven't gotten him anything.

Who, Dick?

No! Neilpaul!

I know, let's bullfrog Dick and wrap him up and send him to Neilpaul!

Stupid, you can't tell if someone was bullfrogged. He'll just think we sent him a Dick.

You can, too, tell - Neilpaul says the smell lasts and lasts. 

How do you know that?

I read it on his blog.That's how I know it's his birthday. If you guys read you'd know stuff too.

 Nah, that's why we hang with you.

Look, isn't that Mick Jagger? 

 Nah, that's Keith Richards. 

Dude looks bad, man. 

Neilpaul looks way better than that!

Good thing for his wife. 

Yeah. 

Who farted? 

Man, we really should have sent a card.

Maybe someone will write him a tribute. 

With us!

Yeah!

Yeah!

He's probably gone already anyway. It's Labor Day weekend. 

He's in labor? I didn't know he was pregnant!

Not that kind of labor, stupid. 

He's in law.

Labor law?

Dunno. Could be. 

Well, I hope he has a nice birthday weekend. 

Yeah, maybe his wife will give him a special present.

And say it was from us! 

How do we manage that?

Say we thought about it. 

It's the thought that counts. 

OK, I'm thinking Neilpaul should just have a happy birthday. 

I second that.

Third.

Fourth. 

OK, fine. I fifth it.  Happy fucking birthday, Neilpaul!

Hey man, don't be a dick about it. 

Sorry.  Happy birthday, Neilpaul. There you satisfied?

(Dick.)