I remember when we met, you were walking through the plant and looked up and smiled at me and my face turned fire red and you said, concerend "Aren't you feeling well?" Unaware that I'd been watching you for weeks, and had even bought a dress in voodoo like anticipation… Read full post »

I know them well.

I started school early - a December baby, the principal said I seemed bright and decided it would be OK to start me early instead of waiting a year.

It would come to be a decision by parents regretted daily. Me - hourly.… Read full post »

It started when I was a thirteen-year-old high school freshman. I remember the exact day, in  fact.  I was in health class, taught by Mr. Carr, who was also the soccer coach and, apropos, a weird health nut. He was always extolling the virtues of wheat germ.  He thought fruit wa… Read full post »

 

 “God, if I ever get that big, shoot me,” you said. 

That was twenty-seven years ago. We were sitting at the new S'barro’s at the mall, taking a break from shopping for a dress. You were not addressing God but rather us, your… Read full post »

I have had enough.

Stop with the stupid f*cking acronym MILF. It's not cute. It's not funny. It's shorthand for, how can I reduce a woman to her f*ckability, even after she's put in some years and had some experiences like marriage and motherhood that normally would… Read full post »

 

 I’m afraid of menopause. 

There. I said it.

I haven’t had any symptoms of peri-menopause yet.  I admit that if I did, I’d probably go into instant denial.

I’ve read a… Read full post »

The place I'm from is settled mostly by French and German immigrants who pushed Indians off the land to farm it, a fact that is reflected in the town names: Millstadt, Germantown, Mascoutah, Cahokia,  Kaskaskia, and Belleville ("The Bee-yoo-tiful  Village! my dad would crow as we drove past… Read full post »

Recently my 17-year-old step daughter, a senior  in high school  who is as tall, beutiful and graceful as she is intelligent, talented and thoughtful, particpated in a certemony in her school in which different representatives of religions were asked to give a blessing at the start. … Read full post »

 My memory did not lead me here first, but I found myself returning, again and again, to a vision of this food. It is so fundamental to the enjoyment of the other selections here.  Zesta Saltines – a carrier of/… Read full post »

 

The other day I was running with my friend Kaiya.  We were on the southern edge of Golden Gate Park, a big grassy field with a kid’s play area to our right, a street bustling with early morning rush hour traffic to our left 

As we moved along I… Read full post »

I have a grievance,  my posts don’t stay on the feed.

I have a grievance  about your post.

I have a grievance about your comment on my post.

I have a grievance about the speed of the feed, and… Read full post »

 

 

 We like horror films, the Man and I.  Our first date was "Final Destination" and we loved it.  Or rather, he loved it, and I think I loved it - I sometimes (lots of times) clap my hands over my eyes while sticking my thumbs in… Read full post »

This is the path that I used to walk to grade school every day.  I visited it awhile back.  The place is a small town in Illinois, the month is November.  It's  hardly discernible now, all grassed over.  I guess not many kids use it these days.… Read full post »

 

 We went to a wedding this weekend in the wine country.  I haven't had a salary in over 2 years and I work 18 hour days and not long ago my best friend's brain tried to explode out of her head and rampage around the country and… Read full post »

I want to be the one to wait for you when you are late. I want to be the one that rushes to you when you are waiting.  I want to be the one that smiles at the sight of you, searching for me in a crowded room. I want to… Read full post »

 

Once, on a long business trip to Europe, my friend Sue suggested we take advantage of a KLM airline special, which allowed passengers en route from Munich to Houston to spend an extra day and night in the lovely city of Amsterdam.  KLM offered a free hotel room and/… Read full post »

In this story, I am 25, working for the biggest beer company in the world.  I am of German descent- and my family thought it was right and good – nay, destined – that I work for this company. They expect me to work hard, and not complain. Everyone in my… Read full post »

 

1. 1. Because as much as I like the nighttime, I like the daytime too.  I look good with a little tan.

Maybe I’d change my mind if they develop a sunscreen that works for vampires, allowing vampires to walk around during the day, in… Read full post »

  " Sometimes it's hard to be a woman..."

Indeed it is.  And we often make it so much harder on ourselves, looking in the mirror for perfection and by definition not finding it, our eyes honing with lightning speed on the 'flaws' we've made such a habit to bemoan and… Read full post »

uh oh, there's toilet paper stuck to my shoe!

Pundits are going crazy over - get this - Obama bowing as he met the Emperor of Japan.  Apparently, none of the pundits has ever stepped foot off American soil, nor have they read a book, nor do they… Read full post »

1. I sat next to John Goodman on a flight from St. Louis to Los Angeles. He was wearing a gray sweatshirt and jeans and was exactly as his character appeared to be on TV.  He was funny and charming and nice and admited to me that he felt depressed/
… Read full post »

I want to know why we save up eulogies for after death, when by all rights they should be delivered before death, so that the not-dead-yet have a chance to feel good about themselves in a way that is not often available to most of us.  Funerals could become an occasion… Read full post »

1. One of the two of us will be last

2. You can only flush so many times.

3. There are some smells, like some fates, you cannot escape.

4. I can look away so long that I forget I am looking away.

5.… Read full post »

 

 

Before you died,  you made me promise that if you died I would never ever forget you.   Funny how it’s only now that I’m remembering you said “if” and not ‘when” as if you thought an exemption could be made.

Or maybe… Read full post »

We had a big weekend, you and I. We went skiing in Tahoe, where hopefully we will continue to own a cabin by the time you are old enough to read this.   To date, skiing has been a bit of a fraught affair. Your dad is an expert and has always…

Read full post »