You know the last few days in my mind have blended of late thinking about lots of things, wondering about what I might write next. I look upon the posts on opensalon.com thoroughly impressed with the depth of subject matter and quality of writing. You are all so smart, so verbose and have such a strong command of both the facts and you personal truths. I wonder, do the Republican blogging sites have anything like this? Where thoughtful people can open themselves up in such profound and meaningful ways. I imagine not without a good deal of circular reasoning and specific denials of reality as to where we are at this given point in time.
And yet, I am struck by the fabulous words on opensalon. All of this chatter, all of these ideas, experiences, opinions, thoughts, ruminations and contemplations of who we are, the possibilities of who we might be and become.
This election is weighing very heavily on my mind. I am fundamentally a possibilities person. I tend to fall on the optimistic side in general. Though over the years I definitely realized the importance of realism in my day to day life. In spite of this, I still find myself continually surprised by the harshness of jury decisions in infamous cases, mostly cause I think I feel sorry for perpetrators who are just so apparently pathetic... It weighs against my better judgements that we should try to understand and be sympathetic towards others But I digress.
So here I am reading and listening to all of voices. Wanting more and more for my own voice to be heard, my own truth. Yet I hold back. Do I speak of my foibles, by flaws, my unspeakable tragedies? Do these things make more authentic? Or do they make me more vulnerable? More truthful perhaps?
To be completely honest I am not really ready to go there. Do I need to go there? Do I need to embrace my most painful moments and put them out there for viewing to move forward? I have not felt the need. We all have sadness, disappointment and personal failings/tragedies.
What makes us most vulnerable can often show us the very truth about ourselves. It gives us a chance to look within... To see ourselves from the very stark reality of our mortality and fragility, to win momentary battles while losing the bigger wars.
All of this has got me thinking about the national politics of late. It has me thinking about Barack Obama. I was a fan of his from back in 2004. He gave a rousing, helluva motivational speech at the DNC convention in 2004. I made a mental note of him. This was someone to watch. When he won his Senate seat, I cheered. You could see his countenance, his exuberance, his brilliance through whatever limitations the pixels you captured on your tv at that time.
So here we are, together at this moment in time. Contemplating one's brilliance and the possibilities of what might be if we all allow ourselves to let go of our preconceived notions of what a president is supposed to be (White, male and over 50), and here we have someone who is both brilliant and mind boggling calm in the face of intense crises. What more does anyone need? I have craved having a smart person running our governmental affairs so long, I am almost dumbfounded that technically Bush is winding down the clock.
My fellow Open Salon Bloggers, I call upon you to say it loud. I thank you all for inspiring me to no end, to realize that this is very much my launching as I hope that it is for all of you.
However, if McCain does win (or it is stolen), I wonder what kind of discussions we will be having one month from now. Wll our democracy fold onto itself if the will of the people is significantly denied? Thank you for inspiring me, keeping me informed and resolute in my commitment to get better at defining and articulating the cumninations of my thoughts on here.