This week I received two requests for chapters from queries I sent to agents. A day later I attended a funeral for a child. Her name was Louise. She was 10-years-old and she attended school with my kids. 

Two weeks ago I wrote a blog on how sad I was about getting rejections to my queries late one Sunday night. I look back on that now and feel like a fool. Watching this child’s mother sweep hair off her forehead and squeeze her hand one last time before the lid of her coffin was closed was the saddest thing I have ever witnessed. Watching her classmates sing Viva La Vida like a choir of weeping angels, then lay roses on the alter beside her coffin, broke my heart.

It also gave me incredible perspective.  A friend told me on that day that the death of a child is a tragedy and everything else is just an inconvenience. It’s a wise distinction that I hope never to forget.

Rejections are a disappointing but an inevitable part of a writer’s life, and I am certain that I will receive many more of them before this process is through. But I don’t think I will ever be sad about them again.

I think sometimes you need to feel true heartbreaking sadness to know that your life is okay. I was sorry to learn that lesson this week, but in Louise’s honor I will not forget it.

Despite the fact that it sometimes feels like (almost) every single literary agent in the country is taking a pass on my work, I am fortunate, and happy, and living a wonderful life. And when I received not one but two positive responses to my queries this week – one agent requested the first 30 pages and the other the entire manuscript – I was delighted. It gave me hope and encouragement, and made me feel like I might be as good a writer as I think I am.

I will not let Louise’s death cloud that happiness, because I don’t think that’s the point. Death should not usurp happiness, it should make it that much sweeter. Death reminds us of how fleeting happiness can be, especially when that death belongs to a child, and we should not take it for granted.

So I will relish these triumphs, and appreciate them, and I will move forward with my life knowing that maybe one of these agents will take me on as a client -- and maybe they won’t -- but either way I will be okay.