This is my first ever blog post. I feel like I've finally graduated from Facebook (I know, I know....) and maybe it's time to post something intelligent. At least I hope that's how this turns out.
My husband and I were on the Sunday side of a road trip weekend yesterday, and pulled off the highway to get fuel at about 10:45pm. As we drove down the access road, I saw a man standing on the side of the road holding a gas can, next to his car, and smiling at everyone as they drove past. He appeared to be about 85. Really. At once a million thoughts went through my head: "Why is he out so late?" "How long has he been there?" "Will anyone stop?"
I said something to my husband, along the lines of "Stop! He needs help!" but we were already past him, turning the corner to get to the gas station down the road. Hubby was tired and not in the mood to discuss, much less turn our truck and horse trailer around. Now, I should clarify that this old man was parked in a dimly lit lot, next to a large shrub, and it was pitch black outside. The skeptical side of me thought that if we did stop, it would be some kind of set-up, and a hit man would jump out from behind the bushes. But then I was mad at myself for thinking that. When did I become so skeptical? When did we, as Americans, stop wanting to help people? This man, if he really was as old as he appeared, most likely remembers the Great Depression and could have fought in WWII. How could we forget what his generation did for our country?
I'm sad to say that we didn't stop to help him, and that I saw 20 cars drive by him. I don't know if anyone stopped, and I'm still wondering. I regret that we didn't, because I think of my own Grandpa, and know that if he were anywhere stranded like that, I'd drive for days to help him if I had to.
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Tayler Bloom
Sgt. Mom
Just Pamela
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Janan Horne
Kimberley R
Salon.com
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On the other hand, maybe no one stopped because he was smiling. Maybe it didn't seem like he really needed help? Shrug.
Good first post - Welcome!
it's sad that we're so fearful, now that we are so empowered to help. civilization is so tricky.
grif82600 - thank you for seeing this post exactly how I meant it. Honestly.
bstrangely - you are so right. It is sad we are so fearful!
I did some things people would probably call idiotic in my youth. Like stopping to help people as a single young woman alone in a car. Lived to tell the tale. How much of that was luck vs. how much of that was simply the universe proving that Not Every Stranger Is Out To Kill Or Rape You, I honestly cannot say.
We do what we can, when we can.
And welcome! I always hear the term "God's country" in Hank Hill's voice.
One of the things I like about OS is that for the most part (and there are exceptions) there is a wonderful absence of moral judgement.
Instead there is a community. People to help each other with the really tough questions like the ones you posed.
So, knowing there is no "right" answer---what would I do?
Proboblye same thing you did---and I'd regret it too. I'd feel out of my element and I'd be scared.
Now, put that same guy down my street? Or somewhere here in the city--I'd probably stop. Actually, I have stopped. So I've been both scared and courageous.
That's WHY it's such a good question.
But FYI you can call in a stranded motorist.
When I was a younger motorcyclist there was an unwritten rule that you stopped to help another biker that was down on the side of the road. (same with boaters, etc.) Nowadays you need a spike strip to get anyone to stop. It is sad.
Now, on another note, welcome to the litter box and don't forget to read everything that I write. ;-)
He said to tell you, "Aim higher. Huffington Post is taking blog submissions."
But in any case, welcome to OS - now send some of your many readers to my humble commentary: http://open.salon.com/blog/policywanker
Bless you!
And, Laurel: yow.
Chicago Guy and Bluesurly: You both bring up an incredibly interesting point. If we had passed this man on our street, or even in our town (small at only 2,500 people!) I would have most definately pressed the issue more. But then again, if we'd been in our town, I probably would have known him, and someone else would have already stopped!
O'Really: Welcome!!
My husband had a very upsetting, expensive experience being a good samaritan. A few miles from work, he saw a guy standing by the side of the road with a gas can in hand. He said his car had run out of gas and he needed a lift to the nerarest gas station.
He sat down in the front seat, then started screaming hysterically, got out, slammed the door and kicked it in. We now have a $1100 repair bill; our insurance company only pays $600 of it because we have a $ 500 deductible. We live close enough to the edge to have to take that money out of our home equity account.
Andy says what most upsets him is that he doesn't want to be the kind of person too paranoid to be a Good Samaritan. This was Great Neck, a very affluent community. The guy was wearing a business suit. Andy has good instincts; this was a total shock.
Pink - My parents did the same. We were really taught the "Golden Rule". What a disturbing situation for your husband. I am appalled at what happened, but hope it didn't tarnish his desire to help others, as that is an admirable quality. Thanks for reading!