Cancer sucks.
I mean, I hate it. If I ever meet cancer on the street, I'll punch it in the face repetedly.
My Aunt is dying.
My sweet, beloved, caring, special Aunt is succumbing to cancer. She is one of my best friends. My second mother. My confidant. The reason I met my husband for god's sake. And she's dying. And there is NOTHING I can do. I hate this feeling.
Please make it stop. Make her better. She's fought for so long, SO hard. She deserves a break. And it's not coming. She's unresponsive. She's done all the cutting edge treatments, travelled all over the country, and it's not working. They told my Uncle to not even bring her to the hospital...there's "nothing" they can do. Hospice is coming.
So, we wait.
I'm four states away. I sit, and I wait. And figure out how to fit a last minute $900 plane ticket into my budget, because I need to go see her. One last time. I put it on my credit card, and don't think another thing about it. Who cares.
Cancer sucks.
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Tayler Bloom
Sgt. Mom
Just Pamela
bbd
Janan Horne
Kimberley R
Salon.com
Comments
If you do not have faith, there may be no consolation. I personally do believe in God and I have reconciled my feelings with that faith.
If I may share. The bible says that life is a "vapor". There are also numerous references to eternity.
The bible also says that God's ways are mysterious and that God's ways are higher ways.
My faith consoles me this way: If there is an eternity, and if God is love, and if this "vapor" isn't the brass ring, but there is something way, way better, then my mom & dad deserved it and I am thrilled that they are there.
Suffering is a hard one to reconcile, but I have to believe that God has it dialed in to perfection. This "vapor" will become a dim memory in an eternity filed with the presence of God.
You speak so fondly of your Aunt. You love her dearly. Do all you can to help her and then trust God for the rest.
My words may fall on a tough heart right now. That's ok too. Just don't allow yourself to get bitter towards God. God hears, He is not aloof. He is not disinterested. His ways are higher. Sometimes, especially times like this, they don't make sense in our finite world. God sees things from an eternal perspective.
I pray that your Aunt is comforted in her spirit in this hard time and I pray that you are also.
If she is who you say, He is close to her and she is close to Him even as we speak.
I'm very sorry about your aunt's illness. It's the height of injustice that you'll lose someone so important to you.