It's early Saturday morning, no one is awake, and my  mind is doing its usual sifting of my life.  Right now I am wondering what the sudden organizational  urgency was yesterday. I have been in this house 12 years, and the same bags of old photos and clippings and who knew what else have been piled on the back shelf in my closet  for all that time. They were bothering no one.

Yesterday, however, they received their eviction notice.   I pulled my recycle bin into the walk-in closet and started tossing.  I did not do this indiscriminantly.  I did know there are important papers in there, but they need to  go somewhere else. They need to be somewhere where, once I am  gone, someone can find them without  a backhoe.

Bag by bag, the closet shelf itself  emerged. Then the bags were emptied. It's amazing what I once thought I could not bear to throw away.  I saved a few photos which I intend to scan and store digitally. Then they go too.

There were a few things I will keep a while longer. My high school and college diplomas will go into my "memorabilia" suitcase. Don't ask, I have no idea why.

I found my birth certificate.  I found two death certificates, one for each parent. There were newspaper clippings and an obituary notice for someone I once loved very much .  I thought that I might try a future writing on his life story. I kept those.

There was a letter from  my mother that brought tears to my eyes.  There was a thank you note from one of my former students, crediting me with turning her life around and setting her on a new path.

I found photos of long dead friends. I saved a few, most got tossed.  How many different angles does someone need to be photographed from?

Is anyone writing a history of the Viet Nam war? I have all of my father's polaroids from his 3 years there. Some are pretty gruesome. I can tell you this. John Kerry did not lie. I hold the proof.  It seems irreverent to throw these away, but I don't want them, either. Any suggestions?

There were Time Magazines from 1986. One had an article on Chernobyl, another was covering the  bombing of Tripoli.  Hmmm.  There is some interesting timing, I have to say.

Someone asked what  other "dream jobs" might I have chosen. History. I never appreciated history in school, so I had a lot of catching up to do once I discovered its worth.  Those magazine articles are now history.  I was disappointed that  my "Women in History" post  didn't  get a better reading. Not because I did such a good job writing, because all I did was report.  I want those women to keep their place in history. I was glad to learn there is now a book. They should not fade into obscurity.

I don't know what the job would be. Museum curator maybe.  Travel writer..visiting the historical sites.  Wouldn't that be everyone's dream job?  I kept the magazines.

In any case, I got a lot accomplished yesterday.  There is much more. I have an overflowing file cabinet erupting with outdated junk. It's going to go.

I have to update my will.

I have to clean up my computer files.

Again I wonder....why? Well, the will makes sense.  That should always be up to date. As to the rest, I wonder if, as is the theory, my higher self, my higher consciousness knows something I have not been made aware of yet.  It's happened to me before.  I've learned not to go against it. Still, it would be nice to have a clue.