There's apparently a faction that wants to Draft Cheney for the 2012 election:
Chris Barron, organizer of "Draft Cheney," emails this morning that he's organizing a write-in vote for the former Vice President at the CPAC straw poll.
“We urge the grassroots conservatives who will be attending CPAC to join us in sending a powerful message about the future of our party, by writing in the name of the only person with the experience and conservative credentials necessary to lead our party in 2012 – write in Dick Cheney,” Barron says.
I admit, my first reaction was something like this: OH HOLY GOD IT NEVER DIES, IT CAN'T BE KILLED, IT WILL EAT ALL OUR BRAINS, THE CRAZY, THE CRAZY, THE CRAAAAAAAZY. But I calmed down, took a venti non-fat chai latte (it's like liberal prozac), and now I'm thinking, you know, this is brilliant. Where do I sign up?
Hang with me. Dick Cheney 2012. What could possibly be more lovely? It would be the trial of the century. The 2008 election was supposed to be a referendum on George W. Bush's policies, but that never really panned; since then, I know I've been thirsting for an Obama-Bush showdown. But let's face it, as satisfying as watching Obama grind W. into the intellectual ground would be in the abstract, actually sitting through it would be embarrassing after the first five minutes. It'd still be the equivalent of a 12th grader challenging a Kindgartener to an Algebra duel. Not really fair.
Dick Cheney, though, is an evil genius. Almost no liberal disputes either part of that description. Sure, he's evil -- and he's recently admitted this quite bluntly, in his "yup, I cheerlead for waterboarding" admission of torture guilt -- but he's also pretty darn diabolical about it. Think about it: He didn't break the law; he hired lawyers to make the law mean something different. That takes some brains. Evil brains, sure, but brains nonetheless.
And those are brains that want to be president. Those are brains, certainly, that can't be happy sitting on the sidelines, watching Sarah Palin -- not a particularly tasty brain -- lead a group of hapless tea-bag zombies on a march toward the White House. Cheney's brains can't be satisfied with the legacy that his former boss seems set on establishing: one where, for instance, Scooter Libby didn't get the complete pardon Cheney wanted.
It's certainly obvious the man wants to defend his legacy. Why else would he be hitting the talk show circuit? Why else would his daughter have become deputized into full-time Cheney Protective Duties, duties that have required such mental gymnastics that brains everywhere have recoiled in shock and awe? The goal here must be beyond preservation. The goal, I think, is to be drafted.
And I am all for it. The only thing in the last 2 years that has united the Democratic party is despising Dick Cheney. That shudder I feel when I see his face on television? I know that every liberal, every progressive, every moderate -- every one of us is feeling that. You see Dick Cheney, then you see Barack Obama, and you sigh with relief. Don't you? Heck, this is why I love Joe Biden so much -- for what he's not.
So hooray, Mr. Barron, and hooray, CPAC. Please, please draft Dick Cheney into the 2012 race. Make him your front-runner now. Send him out to scowl and menace crowds in support of your congressional candidates in 2010. Please put him up on more talk shows to discuss the "failures" of an administration that's just nabbed two more senior Afghan Taliban leaders. Please hold court with every journalist in the land and discuss the current economic crisis and debt crisis and the wisdom of the Bush tax cuts.
I can't wait.