NPR has a piece up today called, "The Unthinkable: A Democratic Challenge to President Obama's Re-Election." It's basically a political scientist's fantasy put to print, and speculates about who might be a good challenger to President Obama in 2012. Here's how they justify:

Suppose: The Republicans win big in 2010. The situation in Afghanistan totally melts down. Another horrific housing crisis arises. Unemployment hits double digits. Energy prices skyrocket. Obama can't push any more major legislation through Congress. Or pick any one of these. Epic panic sets in. And every news home page looks like the Drudge Report.

Their possible challenge candidates include Hillary Clinton, Howard Dean, Dennis Kucinich, Michael Bloomberg, and, oh yes, Harold Ford, Jr.

I like political hypotheticals as much as the next person, but this one -- this one rubs me wrong, because it spends a couple of paragraphs trying to pass off the above as likely and the candidates as possible, none of which seems remotely true right now.

The entire point of the post seems to be to drive traffic -- at least, I hope that's what the point was, because otherwise, this is the blog equivalent of a push poll: If you learned that Barack Obama was going to be responsible for the breakdown of civil society, who would you want to run against him?

So if they get to spend their Friday this way, so do I. Presenting: More Unthinkable (but as probable as NPR's hypothetical) Situations:

Suppose: Every Republican in the country decides to vote blindly against all bills that go through Congress. Who could the GOP elect to stop the madness?

1. Charlie Crist
2. Paris Hilton
3. Newt Gingrich

Suppose: Everyone who can do math has died trying to calculate how many tax cuts it would take to pay off the national debt. Who would you want to be Treasury Secretary?:

1. Paris Hilton
2. Harold Ford, Jr.
3. Cookie Monster

Suppose: The GOP wins big in 2010. Texas secedes and becomes Texistan, a nuclear power whose only ally is the Republic of White Arizona. J.D. Hayworth is elected president. Who should be his Vice President?

1. Sarah Palin
2. John McCain
3. Sheriff Paris Hilton

These will be on the test, right after the essay question about what's a better use of your time of a Friday than trying to kick up rumors that Obama will be a one-term president.