This is a real job posting. I had no idea that G-d loved batteries so much!

Interstate All Battery Center Sales Professional (Arvada)

Date: 2009-07-31, 12:29PM MDT
Reply to: job-xgms4-1298958763@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

Let me set this email up for you. I never once asked who Jessie was nor even heard about Jessie.  

date Thu, Jul 30, 2009 at 2:20 PM
subject: Jessie

Jessie is the little girl that wants to be a little boy.  Her mom said she is borderline retarded.  I love her and… Read full post »

Scenario

Melanie: You missed out on getting all the clothes Taylor is not taking with her when she moves.

Sienna: Why did Taylor give away such nice dresses?

Melanie: Her boobs shrunk after having her son, so they do not fit.

Sienna: Why would you tell me I missed out on getting… Read full post »

date Wed, Jul 29, 2009 at 5:07 PM
subject: medical alert update

I have a blister on my bunion.  It hurts.
I have knee and leg pains so I hit the first aid section at Target.  I bought blister band aids.  They were $3.79 for six.  I thought that was expensive but when… Read full post »

So here is the scenario:

My friend Melanie who is 25 years old and single commented,  "I am ready to have a baby in 2 years."  I laughed. Her response was, "What? I enjoy thinking about procreation."

Scenario 2:

My friend, Andrea, told me on gchat that today she is… Read full post »

date Tue, Jun 16, 2009 at 10:24 AM
subject: UP ALL NIGHT

It was 10PM and the cable went out.  I usually fall asleep to the TV.  No TV,  meant tragedy for me.  So I called Rhoda.  Arnold was disciplining me for calling Rhodie at midnight.  I told him she was up. … Read full post »

date Mon, Jun 15, 2009 at 10:49 PM
subject: GARBAGE PEOPLE

The other day I was out early.  I saw the maintanence guys checking the garbage looking for goodies.  Tonight I threw out garbage and there was a guy with a truck and all kinds of things in the truck.  He had special… Read full post »

date Wed, Jun 24, 2009 at 7:58 PM
subject: TRUE STORY

THE ASIAN GIRL

This woman gives me the paper.  I go to her apartment daily and pick up the paper from her doorstep.  One day I went and there was no paper.  I went back later to see if the paper… Read full post »

dateThu, Jul 16, 2009 at 10:45 AM
subject: the dollar store

I got mesh colored see thru laundry bags.  I love them. 

  Read full post »

dateThu, Jul 23, 2009 at 9:49 PM
subject: tube top

Tonight when I came home from exercise I was hot.  I put on a tube top.  I was not going to go outside in the tube top even to take out the garbage.  Just wear the tube top around the… Read full post »

dateSat, Jul 25, 2009 at 5:51 PM
subject: Jazzercise Attire

I checked out the Jazzercise attire on the classmates.  Most of them look like they have shit attire.  I found some cute clothes at the ARC for 3 bucks.  I think I look cute.

The only thing that bugged me was the… Read full post »

Subject :Strange Stuff
Date: 11/04/2006 11:41 AM 
 
I got a voice message on my home phone that was a conversation between two people.  what i could hear was that one was disciplining the other one.  i could barely hear it, but what i heard was menta… Read full post »

dateFri, Jul 24, 2009 at 6:31 PM
subject: your dad fails at hunting

They had a pool party at the Ranch.  I could not attend as I had appointments.  Your dad went as he was free.  I went over to the pool party to say hi and good bye to your dad. … Read full post »

Subject: me and my dogs
Date: 09/20/2007 10:13 AM

the other day a dog and her owner came over to visit.  casper was aggressive humping the poor dog.  the dog visitor (toby, an over weight pug) was stressed out.  she was huffing and puffing and… Read full post »

date: Thu, Jul 23, 2009 at 4:13 PM
subject: the pool

Today I went to the pool at noon.  I am in charge of pool times.  Your dad was in charge and every time we went the clouds came out and it got chilly.  How can a 89 degree day go chilly? … Read full post »

Sent: Wed, Oct 31, 2007 11:28 am
Subject: dating site to check out pukey men

http://www.dontdatehimgirl.com/index.html

Sent: Wed, Oct 31, 2007 10:12 am
Subject: Re: your poor mom

yesterday Darren called and there was too much talkng so i was coughing.
 
 took caspie and bailey out on a w… Read full post »

 http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/pages/EMAILS-FROM-MY-MOM-BLOG/134147809045?ref=nf

  Read full post »

date: Fri, Jul 3, 2009 at 5:58 PM
subject: News Group

I asked your dad to make some cd's for rhoda.  I told him she liked Barbara Streisand.  So he made 3 cd's.  I did not think I had to check his work.
 
One of them had 4 songs.  The other one had awful… Read full post »

 dateTue, Jul 21, 2009 at 11:19 PM

subject: DISAPPOINTED

I waited to go to Marshal's for Senior Day,  I bought a Sports Bra (low impact) for $5.00 bucks.  It is bright electric green with some kind of a design on it. 

Next I bought a sports top with a built in… Read full post »

I am sure you have seen the sites  texts from last night or awkward family photos.com

 I would like to start a blog about emails from my mom.

 She really sends me the funniest, most random emails.

I also think it would be great if others wanted to also… Read full post »