scanner
- Location
- North Carolina, United States
- Birthday
- June 11
- Bio
- The Dude: Fuck sympathy! I don't need your fuckin' sympathy, man, I need my fucking johnson!
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Fortunately, I'm adhering to a pretty strict, uh, drug, uh, regimen to keep my mind, you know, uh, limber.
You mean, did you personally come and pee on my rug?
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Banner by "The Amazing Ric Tresa"
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MY RECENT COMMENTS
- “When I drank, It was
usually beer. But I do love me
some
oysters!”
9:57PM - “Mrs R, you're taking to
someone who is delirious,
thanks!
hah! Do you really
thin…”
9:52PM - “I would love to be your
puppy!”
9:37PM - “she would never have
risen as high in office in
Alaska!
Blacks make up a
paltry n…”
9:35PM - “Which way did he go,
duh, which way did he
go?”
9:26PM
Scanner's Links
Scanner and the Kardashians!!
I've been off for a few days. I either have a flu-bug or I'm dying, take your pick. I haven't gotten off the couch for three straight days, and it may take a few more. The only thing that is keeping me alive, besides Night-Time Nyquil, are those rascally Kardashians. I… Read full post »
Zack Ain't Never Been to Hooters! (pics)


Ninja Ladies Attack!!
You get to thinking you've seen it all and out of the blue up jumps a, Ninja Woman? It seems two females dressed as Ninjas and carrying swords robbed a convenience store. While I disapprove of all crime, I got to give these ladies an "A" for… Read full post »
The Super Bowl and Who (What?)
What do Bruce Springsteen, the Rolling Stones, Paul McCartney, Prince
and Tom Petty have in common. They've all played the biggest stage in
the world, The Super Bowl Halftime Show. I love them all. They are in the
Rock & Roll Hall of… Read full post »
Operation Cornflakes (A True Story)
My Videos Won't Embed (Whats Up?)
My Mom Hates Me (Is it My Fault?)
A Change We Can Believe In ~Hope~

Proud To Be An American, Again

I'm First, NO I'm First, NO, I was First, etc.,

There is something going on on OS that I'm really in the dark about. As most of you all know, I stay in the dark all the time anyway, so this is nothing new. I get a lot of news alerts in my inbox. No sooner does anything happen,… Read full post »
The Honey Bee Massacre (fiction)
Here I was, at a top secret meeting at the White House with the big man, the President himself. While I had met him a few times, nothing as important as this last operation was ever discussed. A lot of historic events have been hatched in this White House,… Read full post »
The Arms Race For Drones

Diet Water~You've got to be ....,


Jeff Bridges~Most Underated Actor

Masturbate Prostate Cancer Away~~

Researchers from Australia have suggested men could reduce their risk of developing cancer of the prostrate through regular masturbation. Cancer causing chemicals could build up in the prostate if men do not ejaculate regularly.
Australian rese
… Read full post »Guess Who's in the Zebra Suit?

Oh, Mexico~~

Lately I've been taking stock of my life. What little there is of it. At the beginning of the year, I wrote a post saying I wasn't going through another year like the last one. It literally sucked! The only thing that… Read full post »
Please Read This, It's Important
80% Believe in Legalizing Pot
Holy Smokes: America Says Legalize Medical Marijuana
I Read the News Today, Oh Boy
The title is a little misleading. Since joining OS, I've had very little time to read anything except your posts and to write a few. I'm grateful to be in a place that is so interesting that I could give a shit about politics. It wasn't always the case. I… Read full post »
Amazing Dolphin Video
There has been a debate since the beginning of time of who or what are the smartest creatures. Some say Monkey's, who can do tricks on stage that they have learned from trainers. The same is said of dogs, who can do tricks, fetch ducks from the water, and even… Read full post »
Croppin' Bacca' in Carolina

Meredith Baxter (Broke My Heart)

Yesh, that's right, Meredith Baxter broke my heart. The woman that I first fell for on the TV show Family. The woman I laughed and cryed with on Family Ties, has broken my heart. I used to daydream we were stranded on a deserted island, just… Read full post »
~The American President~
Having been asked by the editors to give our thoughts on the year in review of President Barack Obama, I was a little apprehensive. As a lot of you know, I have quit writing political posts and in fact, I have quit reading the mountain of material I used to read… Read full post »
Good News From a Good Person
I slept with faith and found a corpse in my arms on awakening; I drank and danced all night with doubt and found her a virgin in the morning. ~Aleister Crowley, Book of Lies

Salon.com