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June 11
Birdwatcher Extraordinaire


JANUARY 1, 2011 10:23AM

Jesus in the Toilet Bowl

Rate: 43 Flag

Las Vegas (KTNV) - A Las Vegas woman says she's seeing a sign from above when she answers nature's call. Magdalena Nelson's guest bathroom screams "I love Las Vegas." But while she was cleaning last week, she says an image of Jesus appeared on the bumper sticker on the toilet lid.

 Well I was sitting there thinking 
just reading and blinking
when suddenly it got sorta' cold
the lights started blinking
my heat started sinking
when I saw Jesus in the toilet bowl

I don't know what happened
my mind couldn't grasp them
but I started to get kinda' cold
It's a damn bad feeling
when you start getting healing
from Jesus in the toilet bowl

Well I really got saved
my heart was repaved
My life was finally sold
to the man with the plan
and he's all you can stand
he's Jesus is in the toilet bowl

Now I'll always go straight
no longer no hate
my life no longer on hold
for the rest of my life
for me and my wife
we'll have Jesus in the toilet bowl

Now those who will doubt me
well just come and see
the miracle I have on hold
he gave me my pass
while I passed my gas
with Jesus in the toilet bowl

Well it will be no sin
when you go look in
and see this image I behold
but I'm afraid to get up
and leave this set up
of Jesus in my toilet bowl


This was a stupid poem I wrote and posted on OS on September 9, 2009. Would you believe I got eleven ratings for this. This being re-post Saturday and New Years Day, with everyone with hangovers and their heads in the toilet bowl, I just thought it appropriate, Hah!

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Pretty funny stuff...loved your rationale for the post. One of the pieces of advice I usually give my kids is: Don't throw your head in the toilet...Gosh, maybe they should if they find inspiration/redemption there. Thanks for all...laughs, insight and friendship! Happy New Year!!! xo ;} will probably laugh at me, but I believe Jesus to have a great sense of made us didn't He? Thank-you for many laughs and many thought provoking posts. Have much affection for you and Terri. Happy New Year.
This was really good actually!
That is really something to wake up to. Ha!
I used to see a lot of things in the toilet bowl when I was younger. R
I think this should be turned into a country song. It is screaming for a soundtrack.
If it's brown, flush it down.

All the best wishes
to you and the Missus
on a happy new holiday day.

Hope Jesus comes blushing
when your butt stops it's gushing
and flushes your troubles away!

HNY, ScanMan!
Oh, Lord! Oh.. did I really say that?? -- Hey, wait for it to come up on eBay, just like The Sacred Mother Mary in the Grilled Cheese Sandwich which actually SOLD for some thousands. P.U.!
I loved the Worshipping the Porcelain Throne poem Scanner.
I do not drink . Once upon a time I could anyone under the table with Jack Daniels. I remember that hahaha
YEUUUUH... youth..:)
rated with 2011 hugs
All I can say Scanner is "Holy Shit"!
Well I really got saved
my heart was repaved

I think it just proves that Jesus has a sense of humor.
Happy New Year.
Jesus? In the toilet bowl?! Ooooo K I N K Y !!!!!!

Scanner, your post gets the new year off and rolling in just the right way! Somebody needs to do a book on all the places Jesus has appeared, and the BVM and saints, too. Twitter and Facebook appearances remain.
That Jesus seems to p0p up in the darndest places! Maybe having His face on the lid will help some of your brethren improve their aim in the loo!

Great lyrics.

This post has emboldened my to share photographic evidence from the day the Virgin Mary appeared on my grilled cheese sandwich. I put it on my blog here.

Proof I have too much time on my hands.
Very funny, hey if they can see Him in toast, or was that the Virgin, I guess the toilet is not too exceptional!!! Hey, Happiest of New Years to You!
I missed this one the first time. Love it. Maybe Tom Cordle could put it to music.

That's not Jesus, though, it's the Zig-Zag man. Lotta folks make that mistake.
We see what we want to see. Missed this the first time. Nice job, scanner.
2009 a good vintage selection... and i once saw jesus in the trunk of my car; asked him about the platypus.
Das sum good shit mon.
If he's going to make a habit of this, it would be nice if he'd turn the toilet bowl water into wine (after he scrubs it with Sno Bowl of course). Funny!
Your writing has evolved a great deal since then Scanner but this is very important: did she flush?
You do know that you are a bit of a goof.......right?

rrr ---
Something sacrilegious about this visual! Appropriate, perhaps...but...eeeeuuuuuuu!
lschmoopie is right. I hear a pedal steel guitar behind this.
"It's a damn bad feeling
when you start getting healing
from Jesus in the toilet bowl"

Amen my brother! I missed this the first time around and love how apropos it is for New Years Day. So thankful I don't have to worry about hangovers any more! ;)

Happy New Year!
I'm glad you reposted it. Funny stuff! -R-
saw a great t-shirt that said "assholes love you, everyone else thinks you're Jesus!"
Good stuff Scanner, ha!!
Cute, Scanner. Thanks for re-posting.
scanner: This reminded me of C&W song, Drop Kick Me Jesus Through The Goal Post of Life. Remember that one?
Once in awhile I take a sip of the holy water in the toilet bowl

Eleven ratings? Hate to break it to you, but you've got 31 at the moment and I'm about to make it 32.

Let's see,
Christ on the throne jokes?
These aren't the kind of lids I'd associate with seeing Jesus.
Your turn.
Your reasons for posting this were perfect. :)
love it. nice excuse not to clean the toilet.
love it. nice excuse not to clean the toilet.
scanner~this is in a category all by itself! Saludos~Feliz Ano... I mean Año!
"with everyone with hangovers and their heads in the toilet bowl, I just thought it appropriate" - HA! perfect. I'm proud to say I was not a part of the hungover crowd...this time.
Happy New Year Everyone!
This is the first time I have laughed all day. What a great poem!! Rated.
Happy New Year! Looks like you beat your original record. R
I agree with Trudge164. Hail La La Lu Lu.
Praise the Lord. I've been seeing Mary?
Hail Mary Full Og Grace, The Lord is `
With You!
Blessed art Thou among Women and`
Blessed art`
Fruit Cake!
Holy Mary!
Scanner's Mother, and blessed art thou`
If with Mary!
Holy Mary, Mother of God, and Scanner`
Blessed scanner was last seem kissing a`
Mary in the lips near the lavatory. Amen.
There's a ancient verse from `Good News.
It's in the Desert scroll `Gospel of Thomas.
It's one of my favorite ancient saved verses.
In the old days they would say if you go # 2?
Park thee biscuit. It's to sit on thee buttocks.
Maybe the vision came post-collard and peas
Looks more like Ozzie Osbourne!! ~:D
Now we understand why so many people "worship at the porcelain throne." Funny!
What an appropriate use for something that used to go on cars:
BUM persticker.

I've always believed that Jesus has watched over my ass, but now this lady has her own living proof, and I thank you, Scanner, for paying attention.

My life just improved.
I just made the 42nd click on the thumb.
It's so appropriate because, that's where all this bullshit belongs.