They threw a Roast for Charlie Sheen on Comedy Central, which will air on Comedy Central on the same night that his old show "Two and a Half Men", with Aston Kustner, will premier on CBS. I love it when TV Shows fight. But, anyway, this is supposed to be the top ten jokes. If they are, you might want to watch Two and a Half Men, it could't get any worse than these jokes~!

1. In his introduction of Sheen, roast master Seth MacFarlane (creator ofFamily Guy) wasted no time. “Tonight on Two and a Half Men, they’re actually having Charlie’s pretend funeral, believe it or not. No need to switch over, though. Just wait a few months, you can probably see the real thing. I mean, we all know there’s a good chance Charlie will be dead soon, so I wrote an obituary. Charlie Sheen, who became a tabloid fixture due to his problems with drugs and alcohol, was found dead in his apartment. Actually, you know what? I kind of just copied Amy Winehouse’s obituary. I only had to change three things: the sex of the deceased, the location of the body, and the part that says a talent that will be missed.”

2. Actress Kate Walsh (Private Practice): “I have to say, Charlie, you are an incredible medical specimen.  I guess that’s one of the benefits of waking up every morning at the crack of crack … You know, it’s amazing, despite all those years of abusing your lungs, your kidneys, your liver, the only thing you’ve had removed is your kids.”

3. Comedian Jeffrey Ross: “If you’re winning, this must not be a child-custody hearing. The only time your kids get to see you is in reruns—don’t you want to live to see their first 12 steps?”

5. Actor William Shatner: “Charlie, I’m 80 years old. You’re, what, [46]? How come we look like we went to high school together?”

6. MacFarlane: “Charlie has found ways to make money. He has his own iPhone app. You type in your height, your weight, your date of birth, you answer a few questions about your personality, and then it shoots Kelly Preston.”

7. Shatner: “Look, Carlos, I’ve had my share of the wild times with the senoritas. I’ve had sex in space with green women. Sure, you’ve had sex with the blue women because, unlike you, they couldn’t handle their drugs. You don’t need that kind of press, Charlie. In my day, if I wanted that kind of publicity, I had to do something drastic, like kiss a black girl or let an Asian drive. May I suggest to you, Charlie, that you reexamine your relations with women? First of all, one should always be a gentleman. With a lady, you know, would it kill you to open a door for her before you lock her in the closet? And prostitutes cost a lot of money, Charlie. Hasn’t anyone told you that actresses will sleep with you for free? That’s Hollywood 101! You should have called.”

8. Jeselnik: “Charlie, I don’t understand why you’re not grateful for what you have right now. I mean, after all, the only reason you got on TV in the first place is because God hates Michael J. Fox.”

10. Ross: “Look at Brooke Mueller. She’s not very bright, unless Charlie throws a lamp at her.”

11. Jeselnik: “Charlie, you are one of the dumbest people on the planet. Maybe it’s got something to do with the fact that you dropped out of school faster than Casey Anthony’s kid.”