I don't know about you, but I feel like a hundred pound weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. Even though the FBI, CIA and all the other alphabet agencies have all done exhaustive investigations into Barack Obama's legal status in the United States and his so-call "legal" birth certificate, along with every other private investigation agency in the world that conservatives can afford, Sheriff Arpaio has determined the document to be a fraud
. I would like to give Sheriff Arpaio a cheer, a Big Ole' Bronx cheer, for all his hard work.
After an exhaustive six month investigative, the Sheriff, who is having his own legal problems concerning fraud, has determined that "probable cause exists indicating forgery and fraud" may have been committed in releasing the long form of President Obama's birth certificate. I can only thank the Gods and this nation's Constitution, that we have men like Sheriff Arpaio, who, without receiving any sort of restitution, go out of their way and spend time and money flying all over the world doing investigative work that should have been done 10 years ago when Obama burst upon the scene. Talk about a real American!
America's toughest sheriff said,
" the evidence gathered by his investigators suggests Mr. Obama's birth certificate and selective service registration card are fakes." He also said, ""Based on all of the evidence, I cannot in good faith report to you these documents are authentic." His "investigators believe that the long form birth certificate was manufactured electronically and that it did not originate in the paper format as presented by the White House."
Ole' Sheriff Arpaio said he did not go into this investigation with any preconceived notions and also said he "felt that this investigation could clear President Obama's name and put people's minds at ease." Whew! Finally, an honest man takes the reins of this investigation and digs for the truth. The truth that Obama is really a Muslim terrorist born in Kenya and radicalized there, before being sent to Hawaii as a front, while meeting secretly with his Muslim terrorists handlers when he was in the 5th grade. Yes my friends, this is deep, and I mean really, really, really deep.
I won't go into the long and drawn out process Sheriff Joe (I call him Sheriff Joe, hehehehe) went through to come to this decision. Just know that this man is a Sheriff, so why would he lie? Sheriff Joe (hehehe) also presented his findings to our next President, the Honorable Senator from Pennsylvania, Rich Santorum. Mr (and soon to be President) Santorum ""had no problems with what I told him that I may be doing." I'm glad that Pres.., I mean Mr Santorum, will be up to speed on the pressing problems he will be facing while president.
Already, even before he is ever sworn in, Santorum has to worry about how he will dismantle Obamacare, put women back into the kitchen barefoot and pregnant where they belong and stop the government from having anything to do with a woman's body, including saving her life if she is foolish enough to die while giving birth. Don't even get me started on the contraceptive controversy.This is all before he turns Iran into a parking lot.
So, Sheriff Joe (hehe), I thank you from the bottom of my cherry-red ass for clearing up this pressing matter before you have to go to court and face the trumped (Trump, hehe) up charges that you engaged in "a pattern or practice of misconduct that violates the Constitution and federal law," according to the Justice Department. There's also something about not investigating hundreds of sex crimes, but this sounds like some of Obama's sneaky behind the scenes work to keep you quite.
Sheriff Joe (he,he, oh, forget about it), if you are convicted on these bogus charges and someone makes you wear pink underwear and work on a chain gang and feeds you green bologna sandwiches, refuse to do it. A "Real Man" like you can surely take an ass-whipping like you have your guards give inmates everyday after they Tazer the hell out of them. Thanks Sheriff Joe (nah), for just being "YOU".