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North Carolina, North Carolina
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June 11

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MARCH 2, 2012 11:46AM

Sheriff Aprico is on the Job

Rate: 27 Flag


 Sheriff JoeII
 
I don't know about you, but I feel like a hundred pound weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. Even though the FBI, CIA and all the other alphabet agencies have all done exhaustive investigations into Barack Obama's legal status in the United States and his so-call "legal" birth certificate, along with every other private investigation agency in the world that conservatives can afford, Sheriff Arpaio has determined the document to be a fraud. I would like to give Sheriff Arpaio a cheer, a Big Ole' Bronx cheer, for all his hard work. 
 
 
After an exhaustive six month investigative, the Sheriff, who is having his own legal problems concerning fraud, has determined that  "probable cause exists indicating forgery and fraud" may have been committed in releasing the long form of President Obama's birth certificate. I can only thank the Gods and this nation's Constitution, that we have men like Sheriff Arpaio, who, without receiving any sort of restitution, go out of their way and spend time and money flying all over the world doing investigative work that should have been done 10 years ago when Obama burst upon the scene. Talk about a real American!
 
America's toughest sheriff said, " the evidence gathered by his investigators suggests Mr. Obama's birth certificate and selective service registration card are fakes."  He also said, ""Based on all of the evidence, I cannot in good faith report to you these documents are authentic." His "investigators believe that the long form birth certificate was manufactured electronically and that it did not originate in the paper format as presented by the White House."
 
Ole' Sheriff Arpaio said he did not go into this investigation with any preconceived notions and also said he  "felt that this investigation could clear President Obama's name and put people's minds at ease." Whew! Finally, an honest man takes the reins of this investigation and digs for the truth. The truth that Obama is really a Muslim terrorist born in Kenya and radicalized there, before being sent to Hawaii as a front, while meeting secretly with his Muslim terrorists handlers when he was in the 5th grade. Yes my friends, this is deep, and I mean really, really, really deep. 
 
I won't go into the long and drawn out process Sheriff Joe (I call him Sheriff Joe, hehehehe) went through to come to this decision. Just know that this man is a Sheriff, so why would he lie? Sheriff Joe (hehehe) also presented his findings to our next President, the Honorable Senator from Pennsylvania, Rich Santorum. Mr (and soon to be President) Santorum ""had no problems with what I told him that I may be doing." I'm glad that Pres.., I mean Mr Santorum, will be up to speed on the pressing problems he will be facing while president.
 
Already, even before he is ever sworn in, Santorum has to worry about how he will dismantle Obamacare, put women back into the kitchen barefoot and pregnant where they belong and stop the government from having anything to do with a woman's body, including saving her life if she is foolish enough to die while giving birth. Don't even get me started on the contraceptive controversy.This is all before he turns Iran into a parking lot. 
 
So, Sheriff Joe (hehe), I thank you from the bottom of my cherry-red ass for clearing up this pressing matter before you have to go to court and face the trumped (Trump, hehe) up charges  that you engaged in  "a pattern or practice of misconduct that violates the Constitution and federal law," according to the Justice Department. There's also something about not investigating hundreds of sex crimes, but this sounds like some of Obama's sneaky behind the scenes work to keep you quite. 
 
Sheriff Joe (he,he, oh, forget about it), if you are convicted on these bogus charges and someone makes you wear pink underwear and work on a chain gang and feeds you green bologna sandwiches, refuse to do it. A "Real Man" like you can surely take an ass-whipping like you have your guards give inmates everyday after they Tazer the hell out of them. Thanks Sheriff Joe  (nah), for just being "YOU".
 


 

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Comments

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Outstanding... just the right balance of outrageous humor... much better than my last rant.

Thanks,
JMac
Yep, he's the definitive source all right. He's a cop's cop ain't he? Able to conduct an investigation of a Hawaiian birth certificate and a draft card from Arizona with absolutely inimpeachable accuracy. What is this clown's agenda?
You wrote . . . "a big ole' Bronx cheer"
`
Be clear when you yell . . . "I need 3- chairs!"

In rustic boondocks towns . . . Stiff sleep on 3 -Chairs.

If you lay out a co in a funeral parlor cop stiff on Cheers.
Hip-Hip
Hurray
Hip-Hip
Stiff Joe
And scanner wrote:

"Thanks Joe for being YOU"

Sheriff Stink Joe (he he hoe)
`
trivia - I read that Welsh say:
`
"hour" as in time, and "whore"

Both words sound the same . . .
I can not express ENOUGH my deep dislike of this man. I heard he was "retiring" in California. God, I hope that's not true.
I wish somebody would put this dipstick out of my misery!

Lezlie
jmac, scanner is the master at whose feet we learn to rant,
indeed.

regarding obama, yes, i believe he has been indoctrinated
and fed ideas from a foreign power.

that foreign power would be Reason.

i hope the sheriff enjoys jail. he can start a class in prison.
teaching the brothers and homies & whatnot
History.

I am sure he will be able to handle some of their strenuous
objections to his Civil War lesson......
As a local, I just can only add support for this. Also, my auntie Nancy Hicks Marshall has recently published a new novel "A Dry Hate", about a corrupt Arizona sheriff and a civil rights law professor. It's just been released and has been getting great reviews. Check it out on Amazon. (I just got my copy and haven't had a chance to read it yet, but I also know the community of people who inspired the story, and also Nancy's real life work acquitting the Phoenix Five, http://blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com/bastard/2011/07/joe_arpaio_loses_again_maricop.php
I believe apricots are nuts, aren't they? Or are they fruits? Or does it matter? You've hit another one out of the park, Scanman. Time for you to move up to The Show, Dude.
I wonder how much taxpayer money this doofus spent chasing his tail.
I watched this idiot's press conference yesterday... unbelievable. Great post!
Outstanding mockery and he deserves to be mocked. The man is clueless about what a hypocrite he is. Someone needs to investigate how these windbag blowhards are causing all these destructive storms. It's must be the butterfly effect, there has to be a link.
Great Rant and much restrained which I appreciate. That man makes my blood boil but I will not stoop to his level.
What's so bad about wearing pink underwear?
Nut, when are you people going to let it go. Why can't the republicans quit with the "shiny object" attacks and come up with real plans for America. Tell Americans what your plans are to bring us back to prosperity, not the same old gay rights and abortion and other crap that you constantly use. Tell us your plans to make us a shining light on a hill, as if we were ever one to begin with.
rwnj's comment is an obvious fake.
Note the arrangement of the pixels and the use of such terms as conservative. Also, authentic rwnj comments are printed on lcd, not vga screens, but this one would show up on either.

The use of arcane language, miss-arranged pixels and varying display formats might fool those pointy-headed intellectual fellow travelers, but you can't blow that crap by us members Sheriff Joe's Posse!
perfect in tone and information these guys are such tools. rated.
I don't follow American politics, so I am not qualified to comment. I read and tried to absorb what these people are doing.
Great reporting and some laughs.
American politics always gives the Rest of the World a good larf like wot this post did for me ScanMan. Thanks for that.

"press sink please FRed(tm) we've got some Costa salvaging to do Boy."
of course Obamas birth certificate is fake. if he was to show you the real one you would know that he was in reality Dubya after a little reverse engineering by Michael Jacksons people.
Sadly, a lot of people will believe this merely because it comes from an "authority." R
I feel like I'm in good hands. Sheriff Scanner's watching out for us around here. And he's tough.
This is great! All day, the crooked right wing creeps have been flooding the web with claims and fake questions, like "Is Obama's birth certificate a forgery? What do YOU think?"

I might be wrong, but I smell Koch all over this.

Thanks for a well done statement that says it all for me!
THIS MAN IS INSANE and who keeps voting for him??
Can you hear me scream? hahaha
Am I the only one who sees the resemblance to Yosemite Sam?

Only Sam was usually funnier...

rate
This news raises so many questions.

Questions like: How do people like Arpaio get through life, when it requires so many complicated tasks like filing income taxes and completely an application for a driver's license.

How, for that matter, do they even stand upright, with all that dizziness in their brains?

Why isn't CBS dying of embarrassment for having treated this theater as if it was news?
Oh wonderful, Obama has virtually declared himself dictator by signing a bill authorizing indefinite detention without charge or a trial and awarding himself the right to kill any American citizens he wants without due process or oversight. And this guy is still obsessed about his birth certificate?
Scanner: they need to just load up the whole bunch of them and deliver them to a garbage dump. With all they have on Arpaio, it seems to me he needs to put on a pair of those pink underwear himself.