North Carolina, North Carolina
June 11
Birdwatcher Extraordinaire


JUNE 26, 2012 11:35PM

Jake, Listen Up, Jack~

Rate: 33 Flag

 Jacob Sugarman               Kerry Lauerman                       Joan Walsh 
                           Three guesses, which one is Jake?

Jake, the JakeMan, the Jakester, the Jakerlator, welcome to Open Salon, or as we wienies like to call it, simply OS.  You come at a time when there was a lot of confusion in the ranks, with a lot of people pissed off because while Emily was starting a book and you were lurking  in the shadows to see what was going on and wondering if you could fix this place, we were in the closet, sucking our thumbs and waiting on word if we should take our shit off this site. Thanks for that by the way.
You had people who left, who threatened to leave, and even some who spent time figuring out how to first buy, and then sell the joint. There were many people writing tearful stories, for the most part, but as is our way, there were also a few funny ones. But for the most part, it was not a good time to be at OS. I've been here a long time, 3 1/2 years and I've seen editors come and go. I've also seen some good people, who wrote beautiful stories and first-class opinion pieces on current events that are as good as anything you can read anywhere. Even I, occasionally, do a political piece from time to time which I publish here and on OpEdNews.  So, we are not just a bunch of bloggers who just write about our kids and how bad we were treated growing up.
We, and I'm speaking for myself, want to be treated with respect and would ask that you please let us, the people who keep the wheels turning, in on the inner workings for a change and tell us some of the things that are going on. Not the secret stuff, but we are a curious folk, hell, we are writers, we have to be. How hard is it to do what you did today and write a short post telling us we're doing OK or we that we suck. It doesn't matter which, because as curious writers, we'll take what we can get and run with it. 
I love this place. As I said, I've been here for 3 1/2 years, but what I didn't say is that I could not string two sentences together when I came here. These writers, these great writers and great people, taught me to write and now I am obsessed with it. I started out doing your favorite style, politics and current events and I raised hell. I  could not write a story or a poem, but I could talk politics with anyone at one time and I made friends and enemies with my abrasive style. But I saw the light and rarely write about what's happening in the world and for a person who used to read 4 or 5 newspapers a day, now I barely read one. 
I say this because while you want people to write the headlines and politics and the red-hot stories, this place is a writers paradise and there is no other place like it on the Internet. You may well get PM's and emails from disgruntled OSer's, but you got lucky when Kerry hired you. You are now in charge of some of the most talented people on the Internet. So again, welcome, but please, do not forget us fiction writers, poets and the comedians who keep us all laughing. This is not a one size fits all kind of place. Look at us like a giant puzzle that you have to put  together. Just remember, always start with the corners. (and keep us informed)

Now, go to work and please, get rid of this S***!!!  

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Very good work, Scanner. Rated.
"I could not string two sentences together when I came here."

Actually I think you would string about nine or ten together in no particular order. But now you're all about things like commas, periods and paragraphs and it's quite noticeably different.
Plus I hope on the backline I at least got you to try to use a thumbpick as a flat pick so it wouldn't keep flying out of your hands and you could focus a bit more on playing.
Not bad for 3 1/2 years.
scanner - love this piece, and especially love the song you picked. very funny!
"Just remember, always start with the corners."

Pretty good advice, I'd say. Besides the dust and cobwebs, there some secret treasures to be found.
Hi Jake!
I'm pretty new here myself, and wow, talk about engagement. In just a month OS has captured ME, a reliable number in the population.

If you can fix w hat others have enumerated all over the place, dude, you will be a STAR.

If you keep the lines of communication open, you will be a HERO.

Those two things will guarantee you a bright career ahead. In Lights" Jake, star and hero. Employers will say, let's double his salary to see if we can nab him."

Welcome, I hope you like your first month as much as I've enjoyed mine.
Nice welcome scanner. You've captured a fair bit of my own feelings for OS.
Well said Scan Man. Good stuff from top to bottom.

(except for that gawd-awful video)(Do people actually understand a word that is said? And I just don't believe that anyone could possibly enjoy that noise)(OK,OK. I guess some do)
Well said, Mr. S.

Let It Be, Kenny.


I must of missed Jake's self-intro (why am I always out of the room when the fun stuff happens.) I hope, for his sake and ours, he reads this and takes it to heart because this about says it all from the point of an OS contributor. Well done and let's see if he leaves a comment. R
Good morning. I didn't know how this would shake out. I wrote it and went to bed. I really just wanted to welcome Jake, who seems like a nice guy and ask him to keep us in the loop, if only in the small things. Things like who's the editor and is the joint closing or not. Like a lot of you, I start the day and end the day here and I'm here a dozen times a day. So the last few weeks have been very bad. I hope Jake is a people person and has a high tolerance for Pain!
heh-heh...if he's the one who deals with flagged spam....i already gave him a full days work.......
Welcome To The Machine.....
What? You don't like "Watch San Jose Earthquakes vs Seattle Sounders Live Streamin" being on the cover? Must be good if it's most viewed, no thinking required!
"So, we are not just a bunch of bloggers who just write about our kids and how bad we were treated growing up."

Ha I wish I could write about my kids but the fall out at home would be to great ....and as for my childhood, same I save that for my anonymous postings. It is a "mixed bag here" and nice that we don't have to be pinned down to one type of writing on OS.
Amen, brother! Thank you for writing this, scanner. I am tired of being treated as the unwanted stepchild of Salon too.
AMEN! Not just politics, please.

And very well said. I have watched your writing improve in the 2 years I've been here.
Good insightful post Messr.Scanner plus a bloody fine video at the end.
Now I know where Axl was when her turned up four hours late to a London gig recently and brought the transport system to a halt. You had him over for a brew.

"Press send please FRed(tm) then we're back to Mr.Sibbett's book."
Welcome home Cotter, yeah! Good one, Scanman.
Did Emily write us a good-bye note?
UncleChri, I don't know if Emily even wrote a Hello note. She didn't like me, but she came in at a time when OS was raising hell and she got some bad information. She's probably a great person. Thanks~
Well said Kenny.. well said..
so much to give much
I've been out of the loop for too long. I didn't even know they were thinking about closing OS until I logged on a few days ago and found all the mournful posts. Great post Scanner./r
Nicely done, Scanner..
"Welcome to the Jungle" indeed! So Jake is the new editor, I'm gathering? Am I always the last to know because I missed a few days?
Why isn't Jake smiling? Did someone tell him we weren't friendly?
Way to tell him, Scanner. I am getting the feeling Jake is taking all this wonderful input he's getting to heart. The 4-hour feed is back, albeit upside down, and Editor's Picks are added throughout the day on the Cover. There might just be hope for the future of OS after all. We'll see.

The Spam diminished but today went nuts... currently 85% of the feed and the site is dragging slowwwwwwww!!! Excellent post Scanner, hope I don't get the dreaded error message when I post this comment!!
I just hope JAKE AIN'T -
Jake who left my town -
I shared Jakes's habit -
I mean on another comment.
Scanner. You get a invite too?
You go to White House picnic?
Annabella look like Lil 'Abner.
I hadn't decided what to wear?
Pink Flip-Flops and yellow bikini.
That music isn't my Favorite type.
I'd Favorite You. Buttons are broke.
Maybe the White House rent T- shirts.
"You are now in charge of some of the most talented people on the Internet."

HE IS!?!?!? He's also working someplace else??? Hello? :D

Funny? WE ARE????? Since when???

Oh, you mean, funny as in "happy" as in WE ARE INSANE, HELLO!! :D

No seriously, Ed I Tor Sugar Cube will do fine. I think there has been moments of confusion over at Salon, they didn't get their daily allowance of E! or something. Who knows, who cares, let us write once more about serial killers who are also fashion designers!! :D

WE ARE DOOMED....~wanders off into the thorn bushes~

Sugar Cube, like most artsy types who write about non-fictional stuff, is like Honey Badger.

Honey Badger doesn't smile!!

What? :D
Posted publically elsewhere and unverified by myself. So without jurisprudence

"Information gathered from the most recent SEC Form 10-Q for Salon Media Group:

Open Salon is mentioned once in the entire document. It is never mentioned in terms of revenue or expenses. Primary source of revenue is Salon Core subscriptions (approx. 90,000 subscriptions in 2004 and 8,500 in 2011) and advertising (primarily content less than 90 days).

Joan Walsh’s 2009 total compensation was $492,031.00.
For 2010 it was $307,288.00.
This for a company with assets of 2 mil and liabilities of 11 mil. The stock currently “trades” for 0.10-0.14. She has always been the highest compensated key executive including the CEO and CFO. Not bad for a BA degree in History and ten years free-lance writing career prior to joining Salon Media Group.

The paragraph below is copied verbatim from the report.

“The continuation of Salon's business is dependent upon the company raising additional financial support. Salon has been relying on cash infusions from related parties to fund operations. The related parties are primarily John Warnock, Chariman of the Board of Salon, and William Hambrecht. William Hambrecht, a Director of the Company, is the father of Salon's former CEO and Director, Elizabeth Hambrecht. At the end of Salon's current fiscal year, there are various loans in the form of convertible promissory notes totaling $1.86 million that will become due. Salon is currently under discussions with the foregoing related parties to extend the maturity of these promissory notes until the company is able to obtain additonal financing. The Company remains reliant upon such related party financing to continue its operations. "
i like the poor damn fool already, just for his courage
to take on os
and os.
"We, and I'm speaking for myself,
want to be treated with respect
and would ask that you please let us,
the people who keep the wheels turning,
in on the inner workings for a change and tell us
some of the things that are going on." or else!
we gotta rely on art james, who i am suspicious of.
just a teeny bit..
i meant, take on os
and us.
Thanks. I need some Perks.

I just had to resign in Two-X's.

I used the old deleted GoodCelery!
I used the bebop-o computer two.
Scanner. And other respected ones?
We'd have left years ago.
I went outside and ate` gin.
Again. In public blame berries.
I think blueberries ferment.
They brew a giddy-sense within.
Farmer (organic family farms) get:
Three meals per day with ice cream.
I came back inside to read back emails.
Ask Warren Buffett if he hacks Kerry?
Word up scanner? Ain't been here in a while and my apologies for that.
UK Creekend, contact Fred TM told me I needed to get here, and glad I did, although for my whole damned bath my windows 7 circle was SPINNING like the rims on my wannabe ghetto cruiser.

Maybe you saw my comment on Jake's introductory blog which I have copied and will paste below. It echoes your sentiments I believe. All of our sentiments.
Gotta give the dude credit for posting SOMETHING! ANYTHING!!!
Feel's like shit being ignored. Love ya man. .

Hey man, kisses, all that

I find myself emotionally juxtaposed. Maybe other ways besides emotionally too. Overwhelmed.. yeah that might be it.

First, I never expected a new ED I TOR because the site is or was dying. Assuming you work for free like one of those people that answers phones at the NPR fund drive, or Emily. If not, don't feel too guilty, as long it's not more than minimum wage.

Note the enthusiastic welcomes... frankly kind of makes me ill.

We've been so ignored and crapped upon here that we (OK speak for yourself- ME) have become a little, well, jaded.

If I read (hear) even once more that someone cares about the FUCKING SPAM PROBLEM and takes no action, I will... something. Not sure what... YET, but it could have world wide consequences and reverberations. Then again, maybe not.

Seriously, is it not like a kindygarten degree problem? If you (Salon/open) are getting paid by the spammers admit it. If not, would you please turn them off? Thank you! Please, don't want to hear ever again that WE ARE WORKING ON IT. ("As for the spam, I know it's become a serious problem of late, and I hope to clean out the site as soon as I'm a little better oriented. Try to bear with me if you can.)
Talk is cheap and we ain't stooopid.

Hey Kerry! Good to know you're still sucking air? Remember me? We go way back don't we.
Remember too, six months or a year ago, maybe two years... you did a post on a Tuesday, all jazzed about "unique reader hits" or some such thing? Said you'd be a doing a post EVERY TUESDAY after that to keep us updated on this and that. Did you ever follow up, even once? No?

We live in the dark here, totally in the dark like dungeon children, watching as the water rises threatening to drown us and the site we love. Yeah I said it, LOVE.

YOU used to play with us Kerry, and keep us informed.
Did Emily ever once comment on a piece here? (Anyone??)
I thought she did a terrible job, but hope her baby-novel,
whatever is just fine.

So Jake, tag you're it. Smoochies. Please destroy the old black list and start fresh, kill the damned spam (or admit it's revenue), and most importantly, keep US informed.

Too much to ask?

tr ig
JUNE 25, 2012 08:45 PM
Great fucking comment. I was going to say you treat us like mushrooms and keep us in the dark, but forgot. This guys got to prove himself and you're right, Emily was the worst. I think her book will be about how "not" to run a website!
Well, I don't have kids and I don't write about politics because I don't like arguments. Guess that leaves myself and the cat as subjects. With the occasional fiction and poetry.

There goes my chances at being noticed by the PTBs.

Wandering off now.
I don't know this guy. Where'd you learn about him?
Kosher, I don't know him, just what he wrote. Sounds like a nice guy, but he didn't comment here, so who knows. He may just be a caretaker until they can sell the place, who knows,